Whiskey and Country

After dinner, we were seated on the kitchen island, wine glasses in hand, going over the pictures on his laptop, finding inspiration for the bathroom when Nick sauntered away. He came back seconds later with my bra folded in two.

“I have this piece of equipment I gotta return to its rightful owner. I must ask, and I have a right to know. Did you leave it here on purpose? Was it to tempt me, or were you trying to find a not-so-subtle way to snatch an invite again?” He wiggled his eyebrows, and I buried my face in my hand, feeling the warmth pooling in my cheeks.

“I thought it could enliven your trophy room? Give it some personality. Or an edge.”

I pinched my lips together, not quite sure how I felt brave enough to speak these words out loud.

“Considering it’s now your kid’s playroom, I’d have to hang it on my bedroom wall—”

My body tingled. I clenched my thighs as heat billowed between them.

“Maybe it was the plan all along,” I said, the blush on my face now hot enough to melt my skin.

“I’m sure we could find a way to make it part of the new decor.”

The heated exchange between us was turning me into a molten pile of sizzling need.

We stared at each other, the chemistry between us so palpable, I could almost taste it.

“I have to get going,” I muttered.

Nick’s hands framed my face. “I know.”

In the living room, I lifted a sleeping Jack from the little sofa-bed we’d brought down there two hours ago and made my way to the car.

“Thanks for the room,” I said when what I really wished to say was you’re awesome. And all I hunger for is for us to pick up from where we left off last night. I’m a mess since you entered my life. I think about you all the time. Every night I touch myself, imagining these are your hands on me, your heartbeat that’s vibrating through my chest, your lips that are between my legs.

“You’re welcome. Thanks for your help. Now I owe you twice.”

I know exactly how you could pay off your debts.

I mirrored Nick’s smile. “We’re square. You fed me today, remember?”

I’m desperate for you to feed me every day, but I want more than sandwiches and dinners. I want the entire buffet. Every last bite.

What were all these thoughts popping up inside my head?

Nick leaned forward, and my heart stopped. If he got too close, we’d get burned. No way would I be able to resist him. To put off the blaze. We’d start a wildfire, and everything in our wake would combust.

“Night, Dahlia,” he said, his lips tasting the corner of mine.

Nick’s scent rushed through me, heightening all my senses. Man, soap, and wood. It imprinted on my nose.

“Goodnight.” I climbed into my car, not looking back, desperate to be as far as possible from this man who could shatter my existence with one flick of his tongue.

* * *

The next five days passed like a dream. I was busy at the store, training my newest employee. I talked to Nick a few times on the phone since Jack and I went over there the other night, but we hadn’t seen each other. Not even once.

Every day, around noon, I received a special delivery from Ivy’s Café—wraps, sandwiches, soups, salads—with a note.

Friends take care of each other.

Don’t go a day without eating.

Take a few minutes for yourself; you deserve it.

Life is brighter when you’re around.

After three days, I begged Ivy to tell me the truth. Nick had asked her to bring me lunch every day since he told her I had a tendency to forget to eat. Ivy loved the idea, and together, they planned the entire thing. I asked Nick about it on day four, but he told me he had no idea what I was referring to. This was one of the sweetest things someone had ever done for me. And now I couldn’t wait to thank him the right way.

In person.

My phone rang, and I picked it up without checking the screen.

“Hey Nick, still on for tonight?” We were supposed to go shopping for the new bathroom an hour’s drive from here.

“Dah, it’s me.” The sound of Carter’s voice startled me, but it also grounded me. My best friend had a way to calm my nerves just by talking to me.

“Hey Cart, still in Germany?”

“Yeah, leaving in the morning. Heading to Scotland next.” His words were clipped. Carter was upset. I could read him even thousands of miles apart.

“Cart, it doesn’t have to be like this,” I said, trying to soothe him.

“Do you like him?” he asked.

I said nothing.

“Dah, be honest. Do you like Nick?”

I sighed. “We’re friends. We get along and have fun together. He’s nice.”

“He’s not right for you.”

“Stop already. You don’t even know him,” I argued, strangling the phone in my hand.

“My gut tells me he’ll break your heart.”

“Well, your gut is wrong. He won’t.”

“Fuck, you like him. A lot. I can tell. Why am I always the one you push aside?”

I closed my eyes, knots tightening my insides.

I inhaled—and exhaled—trying to calm my jumbling thoughts.

“Because. You and I, we’re best friends, Cart. We’re not lovers. We slept together once, and we’re still surfing the aftershocks.”

“Dah, you never gave me a chance. You gave one to Jeff. No, you granted him many. Even when he was acting like a shitty piece of shit. I loved my brother, but he was wrong. Still, you stayed with him through it all. And you forgave him. Now Nick. Why not me? You never even allowed us the opportunity to show you how perfect we’d be together. How incredible our relationship would be. That night we shared, it meant something. I know you. Better than you know yourself. It was out of this world. Don’t try to deny it. Fuck, Dah, I’m the one who’s been by your side for years. No matter what. Never asking anything in return, but a chance at love. This is freaking hard. To see you fall for other guys. While you refuse to just acknowledge what we are. What we could be. I’m so sick of being parked in the friend zone. No man relishes that spot. It’s like being benched during the last game of the championship. It sucks. Bad. Life is much better when we’re together, Dah. I only feel alive when we are. Gimme a shot too. To prove to you we belong together.”

“Cart, I love you. With all my heart. You’re one of the two most important people in my life. But I’m not in love with you the way you want me to be. I’m sorry. We’ve been over this a million times already. You have to move on. To chase your own happiness. To find your person. Maybe Nick is mine. Maybe he’s not. But I won’t know unless I try. It’s not about giving you a chance or not. It’s about what my heart desires. And I have no control over this. Things would be so much simpler if you and I were together, I agree. It would be so much easier with Jack too. Believe me, I’m aware. But for a reason I can’t explain, I can’t go down that road with you. We’ll always be more than friends, but we’ll never be lovers. Friendship is all I can offer ya. My heart breaks every time I think about it. About hurting you.”

I paused.

Carter said nothing, so I continued.

“Every time I push you away, I fear you’ll have one of your episodes. That you’ll withdraw into yourself and lose touch with everything and everyone around you. I hate knowing I won’t be there to care of ya. To calm you down. To bring you peace. When you find the one—”

“I already have,” he rushed out.