Whiskey and Country

“No, Cart. You haven’t. I swear on Jeff’s memory. Your soulmate, your other half, she’s out there, searching for you too. She wishes for you as much as you wish for her.” Carter remained silent on the other end of the line. “Be open to give her a piece of your heart. Be open to love. Elsewhere.”

I imagined him scratching his forehead. Or balling his fists.

“Dah, I’m in love. With. You. Always have been. For over twenty years. It’s a fucking long time, so I can tell you it’s not just something that will go away. And I want everything with you. Love. Family. It’s us, Dah. Carter and Dahlia against the world. And Jack. We’re a family, the three of us. My feelings won’t go away because you don’t share them. In my heart, I’ll keep hoping you realize I’m the one for you too. Be assured I heard everything you said. Doesn’t mean I have to believe it. Or to agree.”

His voice cracked.

Tears pooled in my eyes.

My best friend continued, “You are my destiny. The day you stop fighting it, you’ll realize the truth. In the meantime, I’ll put on a happy smile the next time I meet Nick. If he hurts you, though, I’m killing him with my own hands, Dah.” I chuckled through my tears. “I’m not kidding.”

“Cart, I wish things were different. I do. No matter how it turns out, I’ll always be there for you. In every way I can. What would I do without you in my life?” I breathed out, drying my tears with my fingertips. “For what it’s worth, you don’t even kill spiders, but whatever. If you wanna act all rough and tough around Nick, suit yourself.” I sucked in a jagged breath. Carter sniffled. My heart vibrated. “I miss ya. All the time.”

“Me too. I love you,” he said after a moment.

I kept my eyes shut, fighting my emotions down. “I know. I love you too. Be safe out there.”

“Talk to you tomorrow, okay? I’ll video chat with Jack.”

“We’ll be there. Whenever you’re ready. Bye.”

We hung up, and tears streamed down my cheeks as I locked the store.

For a couple of minutes, I sat in my car, my heart breaking into many pieces as I thought about how much I kept hurting my best friend. Why did it have to be this complicated? Why couldn’t Carter love someone else? I heard everything he said. And it all made sense. But right now, I craved Nick’s touch. My heart requested him too.

“I’m sorry, Cart,” I said out loud before starting the engine once I dried my tears.

Nick was already parked in the driveway when I made it home.

The sight of him chased my emotional breakdown away. It brought a smile to my face. Hope to my heart. And heat to my core. Yeah, Nick happened to be the one my entire body longed for.

“Finished early today. Thought you might like a hand with Jack while you get ready. If we feed him before we get going, we could get takeout somewhere, both of us later,” he offered, opening my car door.

That fuzzy feeling returned to my chest. And my lower belly.

I climbed out and neared him.

“Ohmygod, you’re a savior. I thought I wouldn’t have time to shower.”

I hugged him, and my pulse spiked as Nick cuddled me back. The way our bodies connected quietened every doubt swirling inside me. I tightened my grip around him, needing him more than ever.

We breathed each other in before breaking apart.

I smoothed the fabric of my powder-blue maxi dress.

Paula left, and after I snuggled with my son for a little, I put Nick in charge of feeding him some macaroni leftovers while I got ready.

Dressed in a denim skirt, a teal tank top, and cowboy boots, I braided my hair and added a little makeup to my eyes and lips.

Satisfied, I went downstairs, only to find both guys spread on their bellies on the floor, making a tower with wooden blocks.

Jack pushed the construction until it fell, his laughter warming up my heart.

Nick faked being sad, and together, they built it up again.

I could’ve stood there in the doorway, watching them for hours.

“Mama,” Jack said, jumping to his feet when he noticed me and running into my arms as I squatted down.

“Hey baby, ready to leave?”

He bobbed his head.

“See Buddy?”

I said no with my head. “Not today, baby. Some other time, okay?”

“Okay. Buddy my friend. My best bestest friend.”

“Yes, he is.”

Five hours later, Nick pulled into the driveway, the bed of his truck filled with the packages of tiles for the bathroom and other necessary stuff to start the renovation on the inside of the farmhouse.

Jack snored in his car seat behind us, deep asleep.

“I had fun tonight,” I said, not ready for the night to end.

“I did too.” Nick leaned closer, tracing the rim of my lips with his thumb. “Listen, I can’t stay away from you, Dahlia. There’s something powerful that exists between us, and no matter how much I tell myself I should back off and be content being your friend, I can’t. The line we crossed the other night can’t be uncrossed. I don’t wanna go back to being just friends.”

I remained silent, searching for the right words.

Shivers tickled my spine.

My heart danced behind my ribs.

I blew out a long breath, doing my best to keep my fears as far as possible from me.

“I have no idea what I’m doing. I might be a mother, but my love life has been dead for years. It’s scary to trust someone else with my heart.”

“I—”

I spoke before he could finish his thought. “But I’m willing to try with you. My heart tells me you’re worth the risk. That you’ll be gentle and careful with it. It hasn’t healed completely. It might still break again from time to time, but I’m okay. I just need the reassurance you’ll be patient with me.”

“Dahlia, I’ll never hurt you. I’ll be gentle, and we’ll figure it out. Together.”

“I’d like that.”

“Can I kiss you?”

I nodded. “It seems like forever since we did the last time.”

Shifting in my seat, I leaned over the central console, meeting Nick halfway.

Our mouths explored each other, careful at first, as if it were the first time. But soon with unchained zeal. And passion. And something else I couldn’t name. Our tongues entangled together. Nick feasted on my neck as much as he could with the console between us.

“God, you taste even better than I remember.”

My skin ignited. All rational thoughts left me. This. This feeling. The desire. I missed it more than I thought. A pool of scorching heat filled my lower belly.

“You wanna come inside?” I asked, breathless, barely holding it together.

“You sure?” Nick asked, his eyes full of sparks, his pupils dilated, sending my heart in high gear just by the way he stared at me.

“Yes. Don’t leave already.”

His warm palm cradled my cheek, and he said yes against my lips as I melted into his embrace.

We detached, and in a hurry to go back to making out with this man who had tipped my world over since the day he walked into my store, I released my baby from his car seat and lifted him into my arms. Nick moved closer and extended his hands.

“Let me. Show me the way to his room.”

I placed my son in his arms, seized with emotion at the sight of them, when Nick’s lips connected with the top of his head.

Once in Jack’s room, I tucked him in his bed as Nick stood beside me, watching my baby for a long time with cloudy eyes, his head dipped forward, and his shoulders low.

“Wanna go downstairs?” I asked, my hand caressing his bicep.

He nodded and swallowed. “Sorry,” he said, dragging a hand over his face. “I killed the mood.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “Remember, I’m here if you ever wanna talk about it.”

He averted his eyes for a few seconds before bringing them back to me. Caring. And hurting. All at the same time. “Not now. One day I will.”

I fetched two beers from the fridge and offered him one as we made it to the living room.

“Whenever you’re ready.”

A sigh left my lips. I knew Nick had lost someone he loved. I had no idea what he’d been through, but I recognized despair when I saw it. Because I felt it too. I discerned the signs.

I scooted closer, and Nick draped an arm over my shoulder. With my head pressed against his ribcage, I drew figures over the plane of his abs, drunk on his heartbeat, strong and steady.

“It’s nice,” I said. Nick cocked his head, waiting for me to continue. “This. It feels right. And good.”

With a twist of his upper body, he moved to face me. “I was serious earlier. I want this. With you. Whatever this is.” I closed my eyes as he smoothed my lips with the pad of his thumb, sending shivers to my core. “Can I kiss you again?”

“Do you really have to ask?”

When his lips, sure and warm, locked on mine, I dissolved in his arms.

He groaned. I whimpered. He swallowed every sound coming out of my mouth. My back arched as Nick trailed kisses down my throat.

How did I live years without this man’s touch?