Whiskey and Country

36

NICHOLAS

Ipadded the hallway, my fingers knitted over my nape and a frown probably digging trenches on my forehead. Dahlia was inside the room, lying next to Jack on the hospital bed, brushing his hair. The image brought painful memories back to the surface. Hospital room. Derek lying on the bed. Murielle by his side. Caressing his bald head.

Air couldn’t get through. I was hyperventilating.

With my face raised toward the ceiling and my eyes closed, I sucked a calming breath in, trying to get a grip over myself. And my emotions. My stomach twisted. I’d spent too many hours in the hospital in the last few years. My throat clogged with unshed tears.

I knew I should go in there. But I required some alone time to calm the fuck down. The adrenaline rush I experienced earlier had dissipated. Hospital room, emergency, doctors. It was just too much for me to take. My insides quivered. They spun at lightning speed in me, building a tornado and shattering every particle of control and calmness I had left.

I huffed, dragging a hand over my face, rubbing my jaw. The back of my neck prickled, my hair standing on end. My eyes locked on Dahlia, and she smiled at me. A warm, tight-lipped smile that shouldered a lot of meaning. A smile that said I need you. We need you. Her gaze bore into me, injecting me with doses of unconditional love. I’m here for you. Stop worrying, we’re all fine. Be with us. Right here. Right now. We’re all in this together.

The sight of the two people I loved more than anything eased some particles of tension in me, and I mustered a smile back.

The way they looked at me filled my heart and burned it to ashes all at the same time. I had no idea how I should feel. Relieved? Guilty? No, I should not, but yeah, guilty sounded about right because I messed up, and I lacked the proper word to describe the emotional cyclone killing me inside.

Dahlia walked up to me and grabbed my elbow, stopping me in my tracks as I still debated about my culpability.

“Babe, don’t. This has to stop. You’re making me dizzy.”

I tugged at my hair. “Dahlia, Jack is in here because of me,” I said, pointing to the room. Jack waved at me, a curve on his lips. And life shining through his eyes. I returned his wave, and his grin stretched wider.

Peace washed over me, soothing some of my angst.

That boy had a way to connect with my heart in the most raw and powerful way.

“Yeah, because you saved him. You saved my baby’s life. He’s here, alive, because of you.” Dahlia held my hands in hers. Her warmth crept along my arms, reaching my heart and wrapping around it. Like a soft blanket. Like a promise that we’d get through this. Like a much-necessary hug. She lowered her voice, searching my eyes. “Jack is asking for you. They’re keeping him for a few more hours. But he’s fine. It’s just technicalities. I have to go by the store to drop off the keys, then get his stuff. Can I go to your place afterward? The things he loves the most are all there.”

“You should stay here. I’ll go.”

Dahlia shook her head. “No. He’s asking for you. I won’t be long, and I think you two should spend some time together.” She stared at me with trust burning in her eyes.

The thought of staying in that room sent nausea reeling into me. With a long exhale, I calmed myself down. Yeah, I was stronger than this. No way would I let the last memories of Derek in the hospital haunt me forever. I steeled my back with a new resolve. If required, I could freak out later.

I pulled Dahlia into my arms, filling my nose with her floral scent that made everything better.

“Go. And come back. I love you. We’ll wait for you, okay? Drive safe.”

Dahlia nodded, and on her tiptoes, she brushed her lips against mine.

We entered the room hand in hand, and after I fist-bumped with Jack, I lay beside him, stretching my legs before me, crossing them at the ankles, his shoulder pressing against my upper arm.

“Watch dragon with me?” he asked, pointing to the TV mounted on the wall.

“Sure, little guy.” I combed his hair with my fingers as he settled by my side.

Jack linked our hands, his head against my chest as my arm curled around his innocent body, his quiet breathing the only sound reaching my ears. He’s breathing. He’s breathing. He. Is. Breathing. Jack will be fine. The tornado inside me dropped in intensity. Yeah, we’d get through this.

* * *

Dahlia: Are you ok? I’m needed at the store. Bridal party just walked in. The girls are overwhelmed.

Me: Jack’s napping now. Take your time. Did you know Ross the dragon had magical fire coming out of his mouth? Pretty amazing, if you ask me.

I could hear her snicker in my head.

Dahlia: You didn’t know? It’s a shame. Ok, we’ll do a dragon marathon. Pizza, ice cream, and us three. That’s a date.

Me: Sounds good. Can’t wait.

Dahlia: Forgot to tell you earlier. Carter’s on his way. I called him after you contacted me. Took the first flight out. Was up north of the border. Should reach soon. I’ll try to come back before he gets here.

Me: Take your time. Don’t worry.

Dahlia: Love you. Hope you know.

Me: I love you too. Do your thing. Talk to you later.

I surfed the channels, Jack wheezing softly in sleep beside me, now nestled against my chest, his fingers still around mine. A knock on the door and a nurse dressed in colorful scrubs walked in.

“Oh, he’s sleeping.” I nodded. “We should be able to discharge him soon. Has Ms. Ellis returned yet?”

“She had an emergency at work. She’ll be here as soon as possible. Do you want me to call her?”

The nurse, about my mother’s age, smiled and shook her head. “Let the boy sleep. Contact me when she gets here.”

She left and seconds later, another knock. And Carter Hills walked in, his tall self taking the room hostage with his presence and stealing all the viable oxygen with one breath.

His dark gaze landed on me, and the panic swirling in his melted-steel irises switched to wrath. He didn’t even have to say a word. It emanated from every inch of him. Careful not to wake up the child, I swept my legs over the edge of the bed and untangled my body from his, positioning him on the pillow and tucking a blanket around him.

“Hey Carter,” I said, holding out my hand to shake his. His eyes lowered to where my hand floated between us, but he didn’t return it.

Great. This was going to be fun.

“Let’s talk outside,” I suggested.

The door wasn’t even closed behind me when Carter’s harsh tone broke the silence.

“Man, you should go home. I’m here now,” he said, his hushed icy tone wakening chills along my spine. “Where is Dah? After what happened, I can’t believe she left you here to watch over Jack.” He blinked as if to make sure it wasn’t a dream. Then shook his head.

Without budging, I raised my hands between us.

“Whoa, stop right there. I’m not a threat. You serious now? You can’t judge me for this morning’s events. You weren’t there. No way will I let you insult me.”

Carter looked away. I hoped my words sounded surer than I felt inside. Not that Carter Hills’s presence or anger affected me, but more like I still felt responsible for Jack choking earlier. Carter wouldn’t get the last word.

“You and I started our relationship on the wrong foot. But you know what? I respect you. A lot,” I said. “I know what you and Dahlia went through and how painful it was. I’ve never lost my brother, but I’ve lost someone as important to me. Grief is fucking hard. I get that. And I know you love them, and they mean a lot to you, but they mean a lot to me too. And I love them. With all my heart. Maybe that’s not what you wanna hear, but that’s the truth. They’re not just yours to care for anymore.”

Carter almost popped an eyeball, but he composed himself quickly and inhaled a noisy breath, flexing his jaw, staring in the distance.

We both turned our heads to make sure Jack was still asleep. The boy’s chest rose and fell under the blanket. Once we were both satisfied, we returned to our heated conversation.

Carter said nothing except twist his lips in a scowl, so I continued.

“Dahlia and I connected from the second we met. We both can’t explain it. I have no idea what it’s like for you guys, and I don’t care. All I want is to be there for her. For them.” Carter stayed silent, and I pushed on. “You three are family, and I respect that. And I’ll never break you apart. But I can be their family too. Eventually.” There. I said my piece.