I clench my jaw but remain silent.
She smiles, shakes her head, and shoves them into the breast pocket of my vest. “You enjoy those,” she says and bends to slip the thong she’s wearing off. “Have these too,” she says, slapping them against my chest so hard she rocks on her heels when I don’t budge. I take them, her hand slipping through mine as she walks away and climbs up on my bed. “Bring the good doctor in,” she says, settling back against the headboard and setting her feet on her mattress, spreading them wide. “You can both have a good look at what you will never ever fuck.”
16
Mercedes
My heart thumps erratically as I wait for the doctor to finish the exam. I’ve never been so exposed, and it’s humiliating, but it will be worth every second when I get to watch Judge choke on his own words.
He was so convinced of his ridiculous notion that I’m looking forward to disabusing him of it. If he wants to hurl accusations at me and tarnish my reputation, he needs to learn to come better prepared. All of this is because I have a life outside The Society. The audacity to have my own free space, a place to call mine.
If Georgie could only hear how worked up the very mention of his name had gotten this man, he would laugh. We would both laugh, and then Georgie would probably shamelessly flirt with me in front of Judge just to provoke him. God, I miss him and Solana. That’s what I think about to get me through the exam, which really doesn’t take long, but it feels like forever.
The doctor pokes and prods, and then turns to Judge, who’s standing like a sentry next to the bed, his tension palpable. I’m quite certain he’s already concocting ways to punish me for the imaginary results in his head. Although he would deny it, we both know what this test is really for. He can’t stand the thought of anyone else ever having me. But he’ll never admit it. He’s too goddamn proud.
“She’s intact,” the doctor tells him.
Judge glances at me, swallows, and nods. “Thank you, Dr. Barnes.”
The doctor hands me a towel to clean up, and I take it to the privacy of the bathroom. I don’t know why I’m still in Judge’s bedroom, but if I’m being honest, I’m grateful for the sanctuary. I don’t think I’d find a moment of sleep in my room, thinking Miriam might decide to come back and finish me off at any moment.
When I glance at my reflection in the mirror, the bruising on my face is a painful reminder that just like now, Judge didn’t believe what I’d told him about Miriam. No matter what I tell him, I doubt he’ll be swayed, and I can’t endure him looking at me like I’m a liar all over again. I know he’s taking it easy on me right now, but it won’t last. Once he knows I’m recovered, there will be a reckoning, and I don’t know I’m prepared to face it.
I consider all the things that might happen between now and then. There are other things to worry about too, like Georgie and Solana. What will he do about them? How can I protect them when I can’t even warn them?
I swallow the bitterness in my mouth and make my way back to the bed reluctantly. The doctor is gone now, and it’s just Judge and me. He’s standing at the window, staring out at the grounds, deep in thought. I know he heard me return, but I’m hoping he’ll pretend he didn’t because I’m so annoyed by him I could scream.
But annoyed isn’t the right word, really. I’m fucking hurt. I’m hurt that he expects the worse from me. It cuts me deep, and I don’t know why. Why should I care what he thinks? He means nothing to me in the grand scheme of things. I have to remember that. No matter what happens here. No matter how much he twists me up inside.
He turns to face me, and more emotions I don’t want well up within me. I’m sure as hell not expecting an apology, and he doesn’t offer me one.
“Who is Georgie to you, Mercedes?”
“I owe you nothing.” My voice trembles slightly as I force the words out, and I hate myself for it. “You don’t get to know about my life. You got what you wanted. I proved that I’m untouched, and still, all you can do is interrogate me.”
He’s quiet, but a storm is brewing behind his eyes, and I don’t know if it’s because of me or his own choices today.
“Why don’t we talk about your life, Judge?” I hurl the words at him. “Why don’t we talk about the women you fuck. The virtues you endorse so diligently while you’re partaking in the oldest temptation in the book. I’ve always wondered how that double standard tastes. How does it feel to be so weak you can’t even uphold yourself to the same standard you expect of me?”
“Mercedes.” His voice is a warning, but I don’t care.
“I hope you enjoy it,” I bite out. “Because those shallow, empty encounters are all you’ll ever have. As for me, I’m going to marry a goddamn Sovereign Son, and you know what, Judge? I’m going to fuck his brains out every night for the rest of my—”
My words die in my throat as he snarls a curse and stalks toward me, dark and deadly. When his hand snakes out to grab my face, I flinch, and it makes him pause, but only for a second.
“You haven’t learned when to keep your mouth shut,” he growls.
“I’m just telling it like it is.” I smile up at him, even though I’m shaking in his grasp. “In fact, you can let me go now. I’m sure there’s another of Santiago’s friends who’d happily take over my care until I’m married. Perhaps one of the Augustine brothers. I mean, I know they live in Seattle, but I could use a change of pace—”
“You. Belong. To. Me!” he roars.
I stare up at him, stunned by his claim, but he ruins it almost as soon as he realizes his mistake.
“For now,” he utters, releasing me with a ragged breath. “You are in my care, Mercedes. That’s not going to change. And if or when you ever do decide to marry, I will be the one to give my approval.”
“You’re a goddamn liar.” I blink rapidly in an attempt to dispel the tears I feel building behind my eyes.
“I will hand you over myself.” He says it so callously that there can be no doubt about his words. “And I will do it with pleasure.”