“It depends on what you consider sex. We jerked each other off, gave each other head, and of course a little frottage, but we didn’t actually fuck.”
He looked away, rolled to his back. “Do you still? Love him, I mean?”
“I love him, but as a friend, like family. I’m not in love with him anymore. I realize now that it’s better this way. Kris and I aren’t a match, and I don’t want to be. I don’t think I’m lucky in love. Maybe it’s not for me.”
“I don’t believe that—love not being for you. If there’s anyone who deserves it, it’s you.”
My heart felt like it somehow got softer, maybe just for him. He was so damn sweet. Milo made me want to be everything he thought I was. “I’m going to kiss you now,” I told him.
“In public?”
“Is that okay with you?”
When he nodded, I leaned down slowly, so fucking slowly, drawing it out for both of us—
“Milo!”
He scrambled up, popping me in the face with his head. “Shit.” I grabbed my nose. My eyes immediately started watering as pain pulsed through my face.
“Oh my God! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean… I wasn’t…”
“Hi, Milo!” Rachel’s daughter, Cammy, slid to a stop, kicking sand up onto our blanket, her mom right behind her.
“Sorry. I think we maybe interrupted something?” Rachel said.
“Gid, are you okay?” Milo pushed my hands away and studied my nose. “It’s really red.”
“It really hurts.”
“I’ll get you some ice.”
“I’m fine,” I replied.
“I’m so sorry,” the words fell from his lips again, making me feel bad that he was so upset.
“Lo, I’m good. I promise.” I kissed the tip of his nose, as if he’d been the one to get hurt, hoping he wouldn’t mind since we had an audience.
I felt Rachel’s eyes on us. I wasn’t sure how much Milo might have told her about us, but when I glanced up, she was definitely curious.
“What ya doing?” Cammy asked.
“Hanging out with Gideon,” Milo replied. “You don’t have too much energy today, do you?”
“Milo.”
“Cammy.”
“Mama did my hair. Do you like it?” It was in cornrows with beads at the bottom.
“I do. It looks good. I like these.” Milo pointed to the bottom of her braids. He was good with kids. I wondered if he realized it. Cammy clearly adored him.
“Why did Gideon kiss your nose? And why was he so close to your face when I got here? Is he your boyfriend?”
Milo’s jaw dropped open.
Rachel laughed. “Sweetheart, don’t be nosy,” she told her daughter. “Milo, feel free to answer.”
She winked at me.
“No. Gideon isn’t my boyfriend. We’re just—”
“Really close friends!” I cut him off quickly, hoping he wasn’t going to say we were having sex.
He turned to me and lowered his voice. “I wasn’t going to say it.”
“Just wanted to make sure.”
He gave his attention back to them. “We’re bestie goals. Do you guys want to hang out with us?”
It was the second time he’d used the term to describe us. It was cute and perfectly Milo.
“Yes!” both Rachel and Cammy replied. As much as I liked them, I was slightly disappointed in their answer.
Before they sat down, Milo made me get up so he could shake the sand off the blanket. The four of us hung out for a bit. I didn’t realize Cammy was around Milo as much as she obviously was, which became clear from their conversations about the park and books and ice cream. Rachel and Milo had a similar relationship to mine and Milo’s—but without the sex, of course. They teased each other and talked about everything and anything. She complained about the hard hat and goggles he made anyone who went in the bookstore wear.
It was fun watching him with them, and I wondered if it could ever be like this with Kris and Meg or Heather and Orlando. I wanted them to know Milo the way I did, to see how fun he was and why I liked him so much.
Eventually we made it to the ocean and swam for a bit before heading back to relax on the blanket.
“I’m going to put my first book order in soon. I want to get some of the newest titles,” Milo said.
“We should plan a big grand opening event for the store,” Rachel replied. “It’ll be ready in a few weeks, right?”
“Yeah, but I hate parties.”
“It would be good for business, though,” Rachel replied, and while she was right, I didn’t want to push Milo.
“What do you think?” he asked me because of fucking course he did.
“I think Rachel has a point, but I also think you need to do what feels right for you and what you feel comfortable with.” He didn’t like a lot of loud people, especially if he was inside. Other noises didn’t seem to bother him as much since he was fine with the equipment for building.