“Will you plan it?” Milo asked Rachel. “And be there?”
“Of course. I’ll help however I can, but I agree with Gideon—if you don’t want to, don’t do it.”
He shook his head. “No, I think it’s smart. Plus, I need to get to know more people in town. I’m going to invite Gene.” He turned to me. “Will you tell your family about it?”
“Of course.”
My chest felt full when he reached over, took my hand, and didn’t let go.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Milo
The next couple of weeks flew by. I was busy at the bookstore. Rachel was there with me a lot, and when Gideon wasn’t at the tattoo parlor, he helped too.
Gideon… I smiled at the thought of him. He seemed almost perfect in every way. He did frustrating things sometimes, like he still forgot to put items on the shopping list, he slept in when I was bored, and oh my God, I fell asleep for a little while in his room after we blew each other one time and I realized he snores. Usually I went to my room, or he went to his after we made each other come, so I’d never heard it before. I kept earplugs with me all the time so I’d have them if needed. I put some in his room too in case I ever fell asleep in there again.
But even the frustrating stuff felt endearing. Like, how could I think things I hated were a tiny bit cute when he did them? It didn’t make any sense at all. I was pretty sure that having orgasms with someone short-circuited your brain.
What Gideon and I had felt like more than just friendship and orgasms, but I wondered if that was me reading the situation wrong. Even that time he’d teased about me asking him out, I thought he’d been joking, but I was always so careful to show him that I wasn’t misunderstanding what we were. I didn’t want him to call it off because I was getting too clingy.
The bookstore was finished, and this evening we were having our grand opening celebration. Rachel had worked so hard putting it together, and I wanted to be happy about it—that’s what friends did—but really, I just wanted to throw up. It felt like a party, and I wasn’t very big on parties. They were close to the top of my list of things I hated.
I flopped down on my bed, wishing I didn’t have to go.
“Are you okay?” Gideon asked from my doorway.
“I don’t want to put my pants on.”
“You’ll definitely draw a lot of attention if you don’t.”
I sighed, and Gideon came over to sit beside me. “I think maybe this wasn’t a good idea. A lot of people will want to meet me at once. I’ll have to talk to all of them and answer questions, and…it’s a lot.” But I didn’t want it to be a lot. I wanted to be able to do it. I didn’t want anything to hold me back.
“Lo…if it’s too much, then don’t go. Rachel can handle it. I’ll help her. And if you head down and it’s overwhelming, then come home and I’ll deal with it. You worked so hard getting Little Beach Books remodeled, working on the new site and social media and stuff, that I would love for you to be able to enjoy your accomplishment. If you need me, I’ll be there to help. I don’t read very much, and I know I’m not as smart as you, but…”
Was he kidding me? “You’re smart. Especially about life. There are lots of ways to be smart. And you’re kind. And everyone likes you. It helps, knowing I have my best friend with me.” He nodded, rubbed his thumb over his bottom lip, looking deep in thought. “What?”
“We’re bestie goals, right? Do you want to try and go? Or do you want me to make an excuse for you? I can say you’re sick.”
I loved that he was willing to do that. Mostly, I didn’t want people to make excuses for me. I didn’t want to be treated with kid gloves, something my mom often did. But on the other hand, she was also so strong-willed that she pushed me at times when I didn’t want to be pushed. Gideon didn’t. He left it up to me, and that helped. “I want to enjoy this. I deserve to enjoy this. I worked really fucking hard.”
“Damn right you did. Have I told you how hot it is when you say fuck?”
I grinned. “Like if I said…can I fuck your mouth later?”
A deep growl pulled up from his chest and slipped out. Maybe sex talk wasn’t so bad… I still wasn’t sure about doing it the way they did in porn.
“Please fuck my mouth later.”
“If you’re lucky.” I winked, trying to be flirty and hoping I didn’t look like an idiot. Really, I was the lucky one.