She wrung her hands together.
“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“I know, and yes, I did. I probably loved him before I trusted him, certainly before I dated him. There’s no one way to tell. One day you’ll just feel different…or you’ll look at him and it’ll hit you how your world wouldn’t feel complete without him. You’ll recognize it when the time is right.”
I felt like that sometimes, like my world wasn’t complete without him. I’d told him as much. “I’m sorry Dad hurt you. I’m sorry that it was because of me, and—”
“No. It wasn’t because of you. It was because of him.”
Maybe that was it, maybe she thought Gideon would leave me since Dad left her because of me. She could tell me all day long I wasn’t the reason, but we both knew I was. He wanted his son to be the kind of person I never could be.
“Do you still love him?” I’d never asked her that question, but I’d always wondered. Did she regret it, choosing me? Did she never date again because she had lost the one man she had loved?
“I love what we could have been if he’d been a better man.”
I picked at one of my fingernails on my left hand. “You really won’t ever let yourself love someone again?”
“No,” she answered honestly. “I’m not really built that way.”
I supposed she wasn’t, and I’d known that before I asked. “Wilma—”
“I don’t want to talk about her.”
“But it wasn’t what you think.”
“I can’t, Milo. Not right now, okay? Maybe not ever. What’s the point? It’s all in the past. She’s gone, so dissecting it changes nothing.”
There was no getting around it, no pushing her. It would only make her run further away. “How long will you be here?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you want to stay with me and Gideon tonight? But not every day. I love you and all, but…you know.”
She rolled her eyes, but a smile curled her lips. “Yes, I know. I heard. And I thought you would never ask.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Gideon
Beverly Copeland wanted me to die a slow, painful death. She didn’t say that, but she didn’t have to. She wasn’t even rude to me. She tried to be extra nice, likely for Milo’s sake, but I saw the daggers in her eyes when she didn’t know I was looking.
She hated me.
She hated me because she thought I would hurt Milo.
Part of me couldn’t even be mad at her for that. She loved him and wanted what was best for him. On the surface, it could very much look like I was using him. I had reasons to use him. He owned the building where I lived and worked. So yeah, I got it. Still, a week later, the death glares were becoming a bit much. At least she’d only stayed in the apartment for the one night and was now at a hotel. Milo had told her, “I know I said you couldn’t, but you’re welcome to stay, Mom. Just know we have a lot of sex,” which was likely another reason she wanted to set me on fire and watch me burn.
I’d slept in later than Milo, which I often did. We both had the day off. I’d lain in bed for a while, thinking about Beverly and Milo, when he finally came in and launched himself onto the bed. “I’m nervous to see your family today.”
“Why?” I fingered a lock of his hair. He was… Christ, he was so fucking beautiful. I had no idea what he was doing with me.
“I don’t want to say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing, especially now that we’re boyfriends. I already made a fool of myself last time.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“I was there.”
I chuckled. “I was too.”
“Gideon…it won’t do either of us any good to pretend. I know I don’t always act like everyone else. Denying it doesn’t make it less true. Also, it pisses me off more than being hungry and when I can’t have orgasms with you.”
This time it was a loud, belly-deep laugh that fell from my lips. “That last one is new.”
“Sex is new. Don’t change the subject.”
I sighed. “Whatever happens, we’ll deal with it together. How’s that?”
He grinned, and damned if it didn’t feel like his happiness filled me with my own. “You’re perfect—okay, not all the parts of you, but you’re the perfect boyfriend.”
“One good thing, being with you means I’ll never have to worry about being too conceited.” He could bust my balls and compliment me at the same time.
“Shit, I’m sorry. Did that hurt your feelings? I was just telling the truth.”
“No, I’m kidding.” I didn’t kiss his lips because I knew he didn’t like it before teeth were brushed in the morning. So I pressed my mouth to his forehead and then rolled out of bed.