“When was your last period?” Her brows pinch together, going into problem-solving mode. It’s something that’s always irritated me about her. You can’t analyze everything, putting emotion to the side. Though right now, I need it.
I shake my head, not knowing. “I thought I had one last month, but it was really light.”
“Okay.” She bobs her head up and down again. “What do you want to do?”
I blink. Once. Twice. “I…I don’t know.” I wipe my eyes and sniffle.
“And I don’t expect you to right now. If you don’t want to keep it, I’ll take you to Planned Parenthood tomorrow. We need to know how far along you are and then can go over our options. Have you told anyone yet?”
I shake my head, brown hair falling into my face. Several strands stick to my tear-dampened skin.
“Okay. And if you decide you do want to keep it, then I’ll still take you to the clinic to get checked out. You’ll have to tell Mom and Dad.”
“And what about Josh?” My voice is small and I’m starting to feel nauseous again.
It’s all Louisa can do but scoff. She never liked Josh and now has even more reason not to. “He’s eighteen,” she gasps. “You’re underage.”
“Don’t,” I snap. “He didn’t force anything. I wanted it too.”
Her eyes meet mine, holding my gaze for a few seconds. “Okay. And then you tell him and I’ll make sure he does his part. This is his fault, after all.”
“Half his fault,” I say, wanting to defend him. He’s my boyfriend. He loves me and I love him. For a fleeting moment, I think things will be okay. Josh is eighteen, after all. He’s set to graduate at the end of the year and can get an apartment for our family to live in.
“Girls?” Mom calls from the bottom of the stairs.
“I’ll go,” Louisa tells me. “And I’ll say you’re not feeling well since you have explosive diarrhea.”
I slightly narrow my eyes. “Thanks, Lou. I…I…”
“It’s going to be okay.” She tucks my hair behind my ears. “I’m here for you.” She hides the pregnancy test inside the top drawer of the nightstand and gets to her feet. Everything happens in slow motion as she leaves, and I fall against my bed. Tears roll down my face as I think about how much everything will change.
“You haven’t told your parents yet?” Josh laces his fingers through mine.
“No,” I reply with a shake of my head. My heart has been in a constant state of fluttering since I found out I was pregnant two days ago. I’m absolutely exhausted, though I know part of that is from growing a freaking tiny baby inside of me. “I have to tell them tonight after…after the appointment.”
Josh nods, brown eyes fixed with mine. We’re in the middle of the busy high school cafeteria, but he’s looking at me like I’m the only girl in the world. He promised we’d get through this together, and I believe him.
“Are you coming with?” I ask, taking my hand out of his so I can break a cracker in half. Louisa told me eating small amounts of food throughout the day could help me not feel sick. I thought I had a stomach bug a week and a half ago and blamed my overall feeling of malaise on the stress of school.
“I gotta work, babe.” Josh’s lips curve into a half-smile. “Gotta make money to take care of my family.”
Now I’m smiling and feeling like it really is going to be okay.
“Call me after?”
“Of course.” I eat half the cracker, hoping it will settle my stomach. My issue now is nerves more than anything else. Chewing slowly, I look around the cafeteria. I’m not popular, but I don’t consider myself a total loser either. I fit quietly in the middle somewhere, overlooked by most of my classmates. I prefer it that way, if I’m being honest.
How long can I keep the baby a secret before everyone notices?
According to Louisa’s calculations, I could be anywhere from eight to twelve weeks along already. Which means I’ll be halfway through my summer internship at the emergency vet clinic before I’ll be too pregnant to assist with surgeries or farm calls.
But it’s going to be okay. It has to be.
I wipe cracker crumbs off my fingers, starting to feel sick all over again. It’s too loud in here. The lights are too bright. The red plastic chair feels extra uncomfortable beneath me and it’s just too much.
“Hey, Jo.” Erica plops down in the seat across from me, sliding her tray full of pizza and French fries in the middle for us to share like usual. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I say right back, blinking rapidly. “Just tired.”
“Late night at the barn again?” She tears the slice of pizza in half.
“Yeah,” I repeat, feeling bad instantly for lying to my best friend.