CHAPTER ELEVEN
A COUPLEOFdays before they were due to attend Elspeth and Mack’s wedding in the Highlands of Scotland, Lincoln informed Elodie over breakfast that they would have to travel separately, due to an urgent work issue that had cropped up.
Elodie put her cup of tea down and frowned. ‘But what if you get held up? We’re supposed to be there together. Won’t it look odd if we’re not?’
‘I’ll get there—don’t worry.’ He buttered his toast with a brisk scrape of his knife, the scratching sound loud in the silence. A frown was carved into his forehead, his eyes narrowed in concentration.
‘Will you find it...triggering? I mean, being at a traditional wedding?’
He put his knife down with a little clatter against his plate. ‘I’ve been to a few since—so, no, I won’t be triggered.’ He arched one dark brow and added, ‘Will you?’
She bit her lip and picked up her cup again, cradling it in her hands. ‘I’m trying not to think about it...’
‘How’s that working for you?’
‘Not well. I feel sick already.’
It was true. She had woken up for the last three days with grumbling nausea, which she’d put down to the anxiety of attending a wedding so similar to her original one.
Lincoln sighed and reached for her hand across the table. ‘What’s worrying you specifically?’
She shrugged and lowered her cup to the table again. ‘I don’t want to spoil Elspeth and Mack’s special day by drawing any attention to myself. You know what the press are like.’
‘Is it because you’ll be seeing Fraser MacDiarmid there?’
Elodie grimaced. ‘That and other things.’
‘What other things?’
She whooshed out a sigh. ‘I’m sorry... I’m probably overthinking it all.’
He squeezed her hand, his concerned gaze focussed on hers. ‘Sweetheart, talk to me. What is it about attending the wedding that worries you the most?’
Elodie blinked back the sting of sudden tears. Along with the nausea, her emotions were all over the place lately. ‘I don’t know...it’s just the thought of getting ready with Elspeth and the other bridesmaids. It makes me...unsettled. I keep thinking about our wedding day—how I suppressed my doubts and fears all the way through the preparations. I sat there with Elspeth and the other girls, pretending to be the blissfully happy bride...’
She gulped and then continued.
‘I didn’t realise I was going to do a no-show until I was a block away from the church. And then I—I panicked. Like a full-on panic attack. I couldn’t breathe, I was shaking, sweating, nauseous. I felt an overwhelming need to get away as quickly as I could. On one level I guess I knew the scandal and hurt it would cause, but right then and there I didn’t care. I had to get away.’
Lincoln’s hand was stroking hers in a soothing fashion. ‘Listen to me.’ His tone was as calming and stabilising as his touch. ‘I’ll be with you at Elspeth and Mack’s wedding. I’ll reschedule my meeting for next week so we can travel together. I’ll help you get through it, every step of the way.’
Elodie met his gaze with her watery one. ‘I’m sorry for what I did to you back then. I’m sorry I wasn’t mature enough to recognise what I felt until it was too late.’
Lincoln gave a wry smile and squeezed her hand once more. ‘It’s in the past. We need to move on from it.’
But had he truly moved on? This six-month marriage deal was hardly what anyone could call a moving-on plan. He had once promised her so much more and she had thrown it away. He wasn’t offering her a second chance. Their relationship was an interim thing to help comfort his biological mother in her final months of life.
And even though they were only a month into their marriage, Elodie could hear the clock ticking. Loudly.
***
‘Oh, you look so beautiful,’ Elodie said, standing in front of her twin the day of the wedding. ‘And I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look so happy. You’re positively glowing.’
Elspeth grasped one of Elodie’s hands in excitement. ‘I’m so happy I could burst.’ Then her expression sobered. ‘But how are you? You don’t seem yourself at all. And you haven’t touched your glass of champagne.’
Elodie adjusted the right sleeve of her twin’s wedding gown. ‘I’m fine.’ She gave a tight little smile. ‘Just a little nervous.’
‘Because of seeing Fraser? Don’t be. He’s done some work on himself and is quite pleasant to be around these days.’
‘I’m glad to hear it but, no, it’s not about him.’
Elspeth peered at her a little more closely. ‘How are things with Lincoln?’
‘Fine.’
‘Just “fine”?’