Elodie drew in a skittering breath. Even the mention of his name was enough to get her heart racing. He had been so tender and attentive on their journey to Scotland, no one would ever think they were not the real deal, that their marriage was a temporary arrangement.
‘He’s wonderful.’ She sighed and continued, ‘So wonderful I keep having to remind myself we’re only staying together another few months.’
‘You want more?’
Elodie smoothed her hands down her own beautiful dress and sighed. ‘Yes, well...haven’t I always wanted more? More than he’s prepared to give me, that is. Sometimes I think he’s developing stronger feelings for me, but what if I’m wrong? It’s not exactly something I can ask him. Hey, honey, do you love me? I’m not sure that’s going to go down well, given the terms he insisted on for our marriage.’
Elspeth grasped both of Elodie’s hands. ‘I’ve always thought Lincoln has strong feelings for you. But I don’t like to offer you false hope in case I’m wrong. All I can say is be patient with him. Some men take a while to recognise their own feelings.’
Would six months be long enough? Or would she end up bitterly disappointed in the end?
Elodie gave a rueful smile. ‘I’d give you a hug, but I don’t want to crush your dress.’
Elspeth pulled her into a big squishy hug regardless. ‘Love you.’
‘Love you back.’ Elodie pulled away to look at her twin. ‘Are you disappointed Dad isn’t here to give you away?’
‘Not really. My days of being disappointed by Dad are well and truly over. Besides, I have all I need in terms of love from Mack. And I really like Mum’s partner, Jim. He’s stable and reliable and so supportive of her.’
Elodie couldn’t help thinking she was the only one in her family without the security of knowing her partner truly loved her.
But her twin was convinced Lincoln had done so once.
If so, could he do it again?
***
Lincoln wasn’t part of the bridal party, so he took a seat along with the other guests in the local kirk. It being late autumn, the bridal couple had decided against a garden wedding at Mack’s ancestral home, Crannochbrae, but the reception would be held there in the castle. It was also where Lincoln and Elodie were staying, along with other members of the bridal party and close family.
He hadn’t seen much of Elodie since they’d arrived, as she was busy helping her twin prepare for her big day. But nothing could have prepared him for seeing her walk down the aisle as the first of the three bridesmaids. He stood along with the other guests, watching her take each step towards the front of the church.
He had said he wouldn’t be triggered, but how could he not be? He remembered all too well the air of expectation that day seven years ago. And then the flicker of unease when the time had kept creeping past. He remembered the increasing murmurs of the congregation, the worried glances towards the back of the cathedral. The glances that had then settled on him, standing at the front with his groomsmen. He remembered the slow crawl of humiliation travelling over his skin when he’d considered the possibility that Elodie wasn’t coming.
He recalled the moment when someone at the back of the cathedral had been passed a note, and how he’d come towards him, taking so long it had felt like a decade before he’d got to him. He’d taken the note and looked at it blindly, for endless seconds. It had been from the driver who was supposed to have delivered Elodie to the cathedral, informing him that she had bolted.
Lincoln pulled himself out of the past to look at Elodie coming towards him now. Dressed in a close-fitting cobalt blue satin dress that hugged every delicious curve of her body, her face beautifully made up, her hair in a sophisticated updo that highlighted her aristocratic features and swan-like neck, she was carrying a posy of fresh flowers with long flowing ribbons the same colour as her dress.
She glanced at him with a tremulous smile and he smiled back, sending her a wink for good measure. A light blush stained her cheeks and she continued walking up the aisle. He drank in the back view of her before the next bridesmaid came past. And then he watched as the bride came past, so uncannily like Elodie that it triggered him all over again.
The ceremony began and Lincoln listened to the words, watching the rituals and traditions with an uneasy sensation in his gut. Not because he didn’t think they were genuine or worthwhile, but because his recent marriage ceremony to Elodie couldn’t have been more different.
Was she feeling the same? Were the heartfelt words and vows and promises and the devoted looks the bridal couple were exchanging making her feel a little short-changed?
But he had been up-front with her about what he expected of their marriage. It was for six months and six months only. One month had already passed. They had five months to go and then it would be over. They would both be free to move on with their lives.
And hopefully, by then, he’d be able to go to any number of weddings and not be triggered at all.
***
Elodie smiled her way through the official photos, and continued to smile and chat to the others in the bridal party, but all she could think about was how sterile and clinical her wedding to Lincoln had been a month before. Watching Elspeth and Mack gaze into each other’s eyes with such devotion had made her ache with envy. If only Lincoln loved her the way she loved him. Had always loved him. But her love now was a more mature love—a love that had grown up, letting her recognise her own failings in their previous relationship and how she had to be aware of not falling into old patterns of behaviour.
As she was on the bridal table, she wasn’t able to be with Lincoln until the formal part of the reception was over. Then he came over to her with a smile, holding out his hand to her. ‘Dance with me?’
Elodie took his hand and joined him on the dance floor in a slow waltz. ‘Has it been absolutely dreadful for you on the table with all my rowdy cousins?’ she asked.
‘Not at all. I had a great vantage point from there to watch you all night.’
‘I noticed you looking at me a few times.’
More than a few times. It seemed every time she’d looked his way he’d been looking at her. But then, she’d had trouble keeping her eyes from drifting his way too.
His eyes glinted. ‘How could I not notice the most beautiful woman in the room?’