I closed my eyes. “Yes. Yes, I did. With her…I did.”
“What happened that day?”
I continued my story, painfully recalling the last moments with Kendall inside the airport lounge before she revealed her run-in with Cass and walked out of my life for good.
Dr. Lemmon took off her glasses, seeming affected by my story. “That must have been a very difficult moment.”
“I still can’t wrap my head around it, how everything just crumbled so fast.”
“Do you blame her for leaving so abruptly?”
“No. No, I don’t. I might’ve done the same thing in her shoes.”
“What did you do after she left?”
“I stayed at the lounge in disbelief. It took me a couple of hours to work up the energy to go home. I had a friend pick me up, because I’d had a lot to drink, so I passed out on my bed and slept the entire night until it was time to wake up for my flight the next day.”
“How was that?”
“Just as Kendall had warned me, Cass showed up. She worked the flight and told me she needed to talk to me about something important once we landed. After we got to Brazil, she told me everything…that she was pregnant and carrying my baby.”
“What was your reaction?”
“I was despondent, too heartbroken to even think about the big picture. At that point, all I could think about was losing Kendall. Nothing else mattered. I told Cass I would help support the baby if it turned out to be mine, but that I wouldn’t be able to give her anything more. I made it clear I would insist on a blood test once the baby was born.”
“Was she okay with that?”
“She wasn’t happy with my lack of interest or excitement, but there was nothing I could do to change that. I didn’t want that life with her. All I cared about was Kendall and had no energy to deal with anything else.”
“What ever became of Kendall?”
“I wish I knew.”
She looked stunned. “You don’t know?”
“To this day, I don’t know. She said she planned to go along with the insemination, but whether she really followed through is a mystery.”
“Have you tried calling her?”
“Yes. Several times. She either disconnected her phone or changed her number, but I haven’t gotten through. I remember her telling me her mother’s name once. I mailed a letter to an Annabelle Sparks in Dallas but still don’t know if it ever got to Kendall. I can’t find her on social media. I don’t know what else to do, or if she even wants to see me if I did locate her.”
Dr. Lemmon jotted down some notes before looking back up at me. “Tell me what happened…with the baby.”
“I was at the hospital when he was born. She named him Aidan. I didn’t know how to feel, because a part of me still didn’t believe he was mine. At the same time, I felt guilty for not feeling more.”
“Is he yours?”
“Two weeks after he was born, she finally had the blood test done. The days waiting for the results were torture.”
“And?”
“He’s not my son.” I let out a long breath. Anytime I relived that moment of truth, I couldn’t help feeling the same relief as the first time all over again.
Dr. Lemmon repositioned herself in her seat. “Wow.”
“Yeah.”
“How did you feel about that?”