But she was finally getting there. Thank God. He wasn’t the most spiritual person but in that moment, he felt like he needed to say thank you to a higher power. I think I love you wasn’t the declaration he’d hoped for, but it was a hell of a lot more than he’d been expecting when they hadn’t even been married three full months yet.
If she could even think of loving him, then he was the luckiest man on the planet.
Raina was watching him and must have interpreted his silence as him being upset.
“I’m so sorry, Nick. I wish I could just say it. You deserve someone who can love as openly as you do. Someone who’s perfect for you.”
Nick pulled her against him and held her there, comforted by the steady beat of her heart against his and the soft scent of her skin. Raina seemed to be under the impression that he wouldn’t want her love if it wasn’t perfect.
But Nick knew that there were plenty of things that he’d done wrong in their relationship. Times when he’d been impatient or selfish or hadn’t loved her as well as he could have. There was no such thing as a perfect love and he didn’t want there to be. They’d worked hard to get from a place of distrust to where they could share their hearts without fear.
He’d take their messy, chaotic, disorganized love any day of the week because it was real.
“I do deserve that,” he said finally. She tensed against him and then tried to push back. He tightened his arms around her, holding her still.
“But I’d like to think I also deserve to be loved by the woman I’m in love with. So, if it’s okay with you, I think I’ll stick around a little while longer.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
A FEW WEEKS later, Raina woke up feeling like roadkill. October was usually mild in Virginia, but there had been a cold snap that had taken them all by surprise. The last week she’d been sick with a cold that left her a snotty, exhausted mess. She’d been worried about giving it to Nick, but he’d laughed at her concern.
“I never get sick,” he’d claimed smugly, then promptly came down with it himself.
After a few days of them both being miserable, she’d finally started to feel human again. Until today. She tried to roll over and go back to sleep but she was too hot and agitated, so she finally decided to just get up. As soon as her feet hit the ground, she raced to the bathroom. She barely made it to the toilet before she threw up.
“Oh my God,” she whispered. She stood staring at the mess in shock before doing a quick mental calculation. “I never thought I’d be so happy to barf.”
She rinsed out her mouth and then retrieved her phone from her night table. She had to double- and triple-check the date before she believed it. Even then, she still didn’t want to get too excited.
Her period could be late for any number of reasons.
She puttered around for the majority of the morning. Food was out of the question because just the thought made her nauseous again, so she read a little of a memoir she’d been trying to get into. She took a nap in the afternoon and when she woke, groggy and dizzy, book open on her chest, it was after three. Nick would be home in a few hours or so. Once he got here, she could do the test.
Her eyes jumped to the clock again. Three whole hours.
“Oh for crying out loud.” She slammed the book down and marched upstairs and into her bathroom. Most pregnancy tests admonished you to wait until your period was several days late. But she couldn’t take it any longer. If there was even a chance of finding out if she was pregnant now, she had to take it.
Otherwise she’d spend the day going slowly insane.
She pulled open the cabinet below the sink. She’d bought several brands of pregnancy tests when she and Nick had first started trying. After testing the first month, she’d always gotten her period early so she hadn’t used any more.
This was the first time she’d been late in ages.
She went back downstairs for a cup. A few minutes later, she’d performed the tests (just in case one malfunctioned) and had them all lined up on the sink. Each had one pink line to show that the test was in process. She was supposed to wait and see if a second pink line developed. If it did, she was pregnant.
If it didn’t, then… well, she’d cross that line if it happened.
The minutes ticked by at a glacial pace. When the timer on her phone went off, she knelt and peered at the first test. There was a second line but it was so faint that she thought she might be imagining it. But when she looked at the second test, two lines were clearly visible. She picked up the test and did a small jig.
She was pregnant. Finally.
After a fierce mental debate, she decided not to call Ridley yet. Nick should be the first person to find out. He’d been just as nervous as the weeks passed as she had been. She debated whether to call him at the office, then discarded the idea. Telling him over the phone wasn’t as much fun. She wanted to see his face when she told him. It gave her an incredibly feminine sense of pride to be able to tell him he was going to be a father.
She went downstairs to wait for him to come home.
But when six o’clock came and went, she wondered if she should have called Ridley after all. She was bursting with the news and she wanted to talk about it with someone. Someone who’d understand how much it meant.
After another hour passed, she started to get mad. “Where is he?”