"Finn!"
I can tell by her soft cries and the way she's gyrating over my lips that she's close. But it's not enough for her to be close, she needs to be frantic. She needs to be lost in what I make her feel. This was the one thing that was always right between us. The connection I feel to her when I make love to her is so potent, it's always seemed fated.
I clasp her bottom firmly with one hand and then use the other to thumb her nipple. Her breasts are so sensitive, they always have been. She tenses and then cries out, her pussy tightening around my tongue. Nothing has ever made me feel more like a man than the privilege of being the one who puts this look on her face.
She rolls to the side, taking big gasping breaths. When she opens her eyes finally, her lashes are wet from her tears.
"I love doing that. I love seeing you come apart."
Her eyes lower to where my erection tents my boxers. Suddenly she looks up at me with a naughty look in her eye. Then she crawls down the bed until she's hovering right over it. She's so close I can feel the warm heat of her breath on the fabric. My hands clench into fists to keep from thrusting up toward her mouth.
"I want to do that to you. I want to taste you."
She hadn't been too fond of this when we were younger. A part of me wonders if she learned to like it with Andrew but I immediately shut that part of my brain down. We both have pasts. It's just the way it is. But I won't let anything intrude on our private time together.
"Lift up." She raises an eyebrow until I lift my hips, allowing her to pull the boxers down. Then she settles herself between my legs, her big blue eyes locked on the erection stretching up my stomach. She leans forward and licks the underside and my hips lift again, the pleasure so intense that I can't help thrusting into it.
She holds me gently, using her tongue to circle the head. Then she takes it all the way into her mouth, her cheeks hollowing the deeper I go. I'm not sure if there's any sight in the world that can bring a man to his knees faster than this one.
"Do you know how beautiful you look?"
She looks up at me, teasingly, her lips stretched tight around my cock. Her tongue swirls and I clench my teeth. There's no way I can withstand too much more of her hot, sinful mouth before I lose it. And I really want this first time I come, for it to be inside her.
"Come here."
She gives one last final lick to the tip which sends another bolt of sensation up my spine. Then she crawls on top of me. I reach into the nightstand next to the bed and hand her the condom. This next step has to be her choice. I need to know that she really wants this.
She rips the package open and rolls it on slowly. Then she positions herself over me, her strong thighs flexing. I grasp the backs of her legs, until she pushes down and takes me deep in one long stroke. My belly clenches and I worry that I won't be able to hold out long enough to make her come again.
It's vitally important that I see that look on her face again. That's all I want in the world is for Rissa to be happy. Happy with me.
I rub my hands up the temptingly soft skin of her back and then grab on to the long curls flowing down her back. Her eyes pop open and she lets out another one of those little cries.
"You are so sexy. You never even knew what you did to me, did you? You never knew that you were my whole world."
Her eyes find mine and she shivers. "I didn't know. All I knew was that I wanted to be your everything. And I was never sure that I was enough."
The uncertainty in the words make me desperate to make her hear me, to know it now. I sit up and move us back so I'm propped against the headboard. The motion forces her down harder on my cock and her eyes drift shut as she takes it, her nails curling into the skin of my shoulder. The pain just enhances the pleasure. Pleasure and pain. We love each other and we hurt each other. It's the only way we know how to exist, Rissa and I.
"I was too stupid to show you then but there will never be a day that you don't know it now. I love you. I always have."
She's crying now and the sight of her tears just flays me. I couldn't be more vulnerable right now if she split me open and just yanked my heart right out of my chest. But the time for hedging bets is long past. If she leaves this earth knowing nothing else, she'll go with the knowledge that she's the reason why I breathe.
"Say it. Now. Finn loves me."
Her mouth falls open and she pants when I grip her hips and prevent her from moving. "Finn!" Her erotic cry is filled with desperation and a little bit of disbelief.
"Say it."
"You love me," she mumbles, barely getting the words out before her hips move against mine restlessly.
Her eyes flare as I pull her forward. As she rocks forward, I lift my hips and thrust deep. She throws her head back and screams my name, her internal muscles squeezing and pulsating as her orgasm rockets through her.
I want to hold out, make it last but the intense contractions as she falls apart around me are too much. As I fall over the cliff right after her, I look her in the eyes.
"And you may not be ready for this but I know you love me, too."
CHAPTER EIGHT