Not that I want to. At least, not the world they’re aiming for.
We clean up after dinner, then pick places around the fire to lay down and rest. I’m packing up my dirty clothes and my knife, getting ready for an early start tomorrow, when the pain hits.
I gasp and go down hard on my knees.
My body might as well have fallen into a bonfire. I’m aflame from head to toe, and I can’t breathe. I fall to my stomach on the grass and gasp for air, but it’s like my lungs have forgotten how to work. My limbs go stiff, and the nerves all over my body feel like broken glass, sharp and shattering and tearing me apart from the inside even as I can’t move.
The world tilts. I roll onto my back to the sight of Frost’s pale, concerned eyes and realize he’s the one who rolled me. Dark edges press in around my vision, blocking him out, and I’m still gasping, still trying to get air through my useless throat. All I know is agony, my muscles cramping, my organs screaming.
Frost’s cold fingers close over my throat, and suddenly, some of the pressure eases. Enough for me to wheeze in a lungful of air.
My whole body twitches and my vision goes dark, then comes back, then goes dark again. I struggle to stay conscious, but it’s hard. I bob in and out of the blackness, and the black is where it doesn’t hurt. If I stay there, I won’t have to feel like this.
But I’m not ready to die, and the darkness behind my consciousness scares me.
I don’t know how long the poison attack lasts, but eventually, the pain fades enough for all my senses to return. Frost is still holding my head, his cold fingers tracing calming circles on my temples. I shake for a while longer, hoping the last of the pain will vanish, but it doesn’t.
It lingers inside me. Everywhere, a part of me, here to stay. Lower level, but constant.
Malix leans over me and smiles, although worry glints in his violet eyes. “How you feelin’, kitty?”
“Peachy keen,” I reply through gritted teeth.
Frost raises an eyebrow, looking at me like he doesn’t quite believe me, but I ignore him and sit up, groaning with the effort.
“I just need rest,” I assure him, brushing his hands away.
Malix and Frost remain sitting beside me while I rearrange my crap and lie down, using my backpack as a pillow. We usually shift to wolf form to rest because it’s easier on the hard ground, but I don’t have it in me right now. I curl up on my side, facing away from the dying fire, and close my eyes.
The guys move around a bit more, talking in low voices as they finish cleaning and packing away their own things. Then the clearing goes silent.
Still, I hurt all over.
I watch the underbrush and trees sway gently on the breeze. It’s peaceful, and on any other night, it’d be the perfect focal point for me to meditate on and pass out like the dead. But tonight, the pain is just too real. Too raw.
Why didn’t it go away?
Because I’ve reached some kind of critical juncture where the poison is half a day away from killing me?
I take a deep breath and let it out, my gaze following the tree limbs as they dance gently back and forth.
Master the pain. You can do this.
Suddenly, Frost’s spicy warmth appears at my back, distracting me from the hurt.
He lies down behind me without a word, then snakes an arm around my waist and tugs my back against him. His long, lean form spoons me, and the weight of his arm over my torso chases away my focus on the pain.
I breathe in his scent and sink against him. His presence, the connection between us that stretches like a taut wire connecting us heart to heart… all of it eases some of the agony burning through me. I don’t know how or why, but within moments, I feel better.
Frost’s breath tickles the skin of my neck as he whispers, “You’re hiding how badly you hurt.”
“After the attack, the pain didn’t go away.”
He tightens his arm around me. “I thought something like that.”
He tucks a leg between mine, and it’s such a claiming position. Not in a sexual way, but in an affectionate way. The way a guy might cuddle his girl in front of the TV on movie night. It sends my heart into overdrive and confuses all of the already muddled feelings inside me.
Closing my eyes, I focus on every part of him where he touches me.