Ethan didn’t flinch. “Doesn’t matter. Even if you guys are in love. There were millions of couples who should’ve been on this Earth, but they never were because the forces of nature tore them apart, and you know what, babe, you can’t fight nature. You can resist for as long as you want, and you can make Liam’s life as messy and ugly and shitty as possible before you finally throw the towel in, but that’s nature still winning. And you should’ve known going into this,” Ethan offered a short laugh. “You may not be blood, but it’s not exactly natural from a stepbrother and stepsister to get together, let alone get married or make babies. This coupling of yours was doomed before it even began, Sasha, and every extra day you force out of it is just you prolonging the inevitable, and dragging him through the mud while you do it. If you had the respect for him that you say you do, you’d know the best option was to leave him alone and let him be. He’s never going to stop making stupid, goddamned decisions for you, and you’re never going to stop leading him into trouble. Maybe he loves you too much. Fucking romantic, huh? Maybe he loves you too much for his own goddamned good. And because of that, maybe you need to make a sacrifice for him the same way I am.” I stumbled back when Ethan rose to his feet. It was like watching the dead rise from the ground. But that seemed appropriate considering the way I was feeling. I was empty inside, hollowed out by the words that rang far too true for me to deny. Ethan let Daisy to the ground and she sat between our legs, calm as he spoke softly now. “You don’t have to stay for the rest of your life if you don’t see the change you wanted in me, Sasha, but at least give me a solid chance to redeem myself, and give Liam a chance to have some semblance of a normal life.”
I unstuck my dry tongue from the roof of my month. “If I did leave him… if I did decide to give him a chance at a normal life, why would I choose to be with you?”
Ethan shrugged the shoulder he could. “Because I want you, Sasha. I love you. And I won’t make this sacrifice to Liam if I know it’s for nothing. I’m sorry. The only way I don’t go to the police is if you come back to me.” When I shook my head, he hobbled a step closer to me, his breath touching my lips. “I swear, I’ll do everything to make you as happy as he could have. We’ll move somewhere else if you need. California. Santa Monica, maybe. We’ll run with Daisy on the beach. I’ll even watch Liam’s fights with you and cheer for him to win. Just say yes so we can try it, Sasha. So we can just try to escape all this and give everyone the new start they deserve.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
I knew where Liam was, but I took a day before going to find him.
I needed the time to make peace with my decision. I had never in my life imagined I’d hurt him like this. The guilt that wracked my body from head to t
oe kept me from sleeping for even a minute, and it made me feel physically sick on so many occasions I found myself spending another night on the bathroom floor. I told myself a million times that I couldn’t and shouldn’t do this to him, and that we would both hurt and suffer every minute we were apart from each other. The thought of what life would be like after this was excruciating, but I loved Liam.
And for that reason, I had to go through with it.
It was at noon the next day that I went to Max’s Fort Greene townhouse his mother left him in her will. It was empty as he slowly worked on renovations. So far, only the top floor was redone. Once it was finished, he planned to move out of the current apartment he lived in, which was directly next to the gym. Since Aria had been staking it out, she was fairly sure he hadn’t been there since our return from Vail. And since he hadn’t shown up at the gym either, despite never missing his workouts, I could only imagine he had been the one to take in Liam after the assault on Ethan, and that he’d hidden him in Fort Greene.
I tried to stroll down the block with at least half a sense of calm. As I walked, I breathed deep and gazed far ahead of me. A good three inches of snow had fallen the night before, and much of it was still untouched on the steps of the beautiful brownstones. It was such a tranquil view and I wished so badly I could enjoy it, but guilt washed over me with every little paw print I saw tracked in the powder, and I hated myself all over again for what I was about to do.
Standing on the stoop of Max’s apartment, I shivered through the text I sent.
Hey Max. I’m outside your door in Fort Greene. If you and Liam are here, please don’t leave me in the cold.
Within ten seconds, Max was at the door. He was silent as he let me in, but once I was in the warmth of the foyer, he wrapped an arm around me in a hug.
“I’m sorry about everything you’ve been though,” he murmured. From the tone of his voice, it sounded like he was talking to more than just the Facebook post. It occurred to me only then that all the people who knew me personally had just discovered my past with Owen. And those who knew my character as well would know my true role in the situation, and thus the abuse I’d suffered at the hands of that man, and indirectly, my mother. It was another aspect of the humiliation, but oddly enough, I didn’t feel as bad about it as I imagined I would. If I did, I was hurting in too many other ways to make room for that pain.
“Is Liam upstairs?” I asked Max.
“I’ll let you up,” he said.
I followed him up to the third floor, my nerves ascending with me. In my eagerness to see Liam, I kept forgetting that he was minutes from hating me.
“Probably in there,” Max nodded toward the bedroom when he opened the door to the apartment. Once I went in, Max closed the door behind me, and I walked across the shiny hardwood, past the white vintage fireplace and all the pretty white moldings. There was so much white it reminded me of the conversation I had with Liam that felt like ages ago already. In the Jacuzzi at the Vail house, he told me he wanted to see me in a white dress for him. That he pictured himself marrying me.
It was only two days ago, but I suddenly missed that memory as if it was all I had left to hold onto.
Closing my eyes, I lifted my fist to knock on the bedroom door. But before I could, it swung open, and my lashes fluttered when suddenly, I was two inches from Liam’s chest. Stretched over his muscle was a grey sweater I didn’t recognize. I figured it belonged to Max – that Liam’s own clothes had become quickly un-wearable, too spattered in Ethan’s blood.
“Baby. Hi.”
I made the first greeting, a strain in my voice because Liam was as devastatingly beautiful as ever, and he looked so physically perfect for someone who had just beaten another man half to death. As far as injuries went, his knuckles were bandaged, and there was a single jagged cut on his cheek bone.
“You found me,” he murmured.
“Of course.” I felt the trembling start in my bones as I resisted the urge to throw myself against his body and suck up all his warmth and comfort. I knew I didn’t deserve that, so I only stood there as his emerald eyes studied me.
“Are you okay?”
“No.”
He nodded. “Me either.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks. Liam reached to touch me, but I dodged him.
“You need to know something,” I whispered, agony already wrenching my stomach. He frowned at me, that torturously handsome face waiting so patiently for me as always. “But before I say anything else, I want you to know that I love you more than I can ever describe, because there are no words for us. There’s no measurement to show how much you did for me, and sacrificed for me. I am so, so incredible grateful for you and everything you’ve ever done for me. Including what happened yesterday with Ethan.” I wrapped my arms around myself as I spoke, trying to hide how hard I was shaking. “It was exactly what I always feared you’d do, and exactly what I asked you not to. But I get it. I get that you can’t help it when it comes to me, and I’m so sorry that I do this to you. I’m sorry I immediately put a red mark on your new chapter, and I’m sorry that there are all these disgusting articles about you, and I’m so, so sorry that they’re out there hunting you now.”
As much turmoil as there was behind his eyes, Liam’s voice didn’t waver as he spoke. “I knew they’d be after me, Sasha. I knew what I was doing when I went there yesterday. I knew exactly what I was going to do to that piece of shit the second I saw what he did to you.”