Chapter twenty-three
Daphne
Ihadthoughtabout kissing Silas more times in my life than was probably normal. Every daydream and romantic fantasy I had ever conjured for myself had featured him in some capacity.
When I was a young girl, it was just him, my soldier, riding in to save the day in whatever dramatic situation I’d pretended I was in.
When I got older, those fantasies changed significantly, turning from innocent hand holding to meaningful, passionate kisses.
But nothing—not one of my wildest dreams—could match the reality of kissing Silas Harrison.
If only he’d kiss me back.
I had started off gentle, not wanting to come off as desperate, even though I totally was.
I was so very desperate.
Pressing harder against Silas’s mouth, I darted my tongue out, tasting his skin for the first time as I traced the spot where his lips met.
The groan he released sent tingles across my skin, and when his hands reached for me, I felt like I was floating.
This.
This was everything I had ever hoped for.
I pressed closer to him, and the heat of his body against mine was completely delicious. Suddenly, I couldn’t get close enough.
Embracing my newfound boldness, I quickly straddled him, sighing into our kiss when I felt Silas place both hands on my butt, pulling me down against him. My eyes popped open when our bodies collided, the feel of his erection against my heated core shocking, but Silas didn’t seem to be as surprised as I was. His own eyes remained closed, looking like he was lost in our kiss, and I felt a thrill shoot through me.
I did that. Me.
Silas was enjoying himself because he was kissing me.
Running his hands lightly up my back, he grasped my shoulders, pulling me even closer, and I couldn’t keep it in any longer.
“Silas,” I breathed, barely separating our lips long enough for the words to escape. “Silas, yes.”
“Fuck,” he growled, his hips now moving beneath me, grinding his hardness into the softest part of me and leaving me no choice but to mirror his movements with my own hips.
I never wanted this moment to be over.
“Please,” I whispered, and this time Silas broke the kiss, pulling back and staring at me quizzically. He looked concerned, like he was suddenly aware of what we were doing and I couldn’t have that.
If he took a moment to think about it, he would start to overthink it and then he just might put the whole night to an end and ruining all my plans.
I couldn’t have that. Not when what we were doing felt so right.
Looking into his eyes, the eyes that I had dreamed about for years, I pleaded, “Please, don’t stop.”
He blinked once, then we were moving. The hands that were on my ass gripped tighter, and in one fluid motion, Silas stood from the couch and headed for the bed. The feel of his hands against the bare skin of my hips, warm and rough, sent shivers down my spine. I clung to him, my fingers gripping his shoulders and my thighs wrapped tightly around his hips, until he gently set me on the bed.
He stood back, chest heaving as he caught his breath, and I stared up at him in wonder.
How had I managed to get here? How was I lucky enough to have him staring down at me with such hunger in his eyes?
I felt like I was going to explode, there was so much energy running through my veins. I knelt up on the bed, making myself closer to eye level with Silas, and tugged my dress up and over my head.
“Jesus,” he grunted, and I took that as a good sign. I had dressed carefully tonight—I had every night I came to his room, really—in a lacy bra and panty set in a deep navy-blue, and I was glad that my effort had been worth it. Silas dragged his eyes over my body, his hungry gaze roaming over all my exposed flesh and leaving goosebumps in their wake.
“Now you,” I whispered, my hands reaching for his t-shirt. Silas swallowed, watching as my fingers gathered the fabric at the hem and started tugging it upward. He only hesitated a moment, before he reached behind his head and pulled; that sexy thing that only guys seemed to be able to manage.
My hands immediately went to his chest; I couldn’t help it. It was like a compulsion. I needed to touch him, to feel the heat of him and know that this was real. Pressing my palms against his firm pecs, I could feel his heart racing in his chest. Leaning forward, I placed a gentle kiss against his sternum, holding my lips there for a moment, just savoring everything as much as I could.
Silas raised his own hand, placing it over mine where it still rested against his heart, and I looked up, wanting to say so much, but unable to even know where to begin.
This meant everything to me.
I just wanted it to mean something to him, too.
But in the end, I was a coward. Rather than saying the words that I had carried on my soul for as long as I could remember, I hid my emotions with a cocky grin, reaching instead for his belt.
“Wait,” Silas said as I undid his button and prepared to push his jeans to the floor. I froze, suddenly panicked that this was going to be over before it really began. But Silas simply reached into his pocket and drew out his wallet. I watched, my breath stalled, as he fished inside, coming up with a square foil condom wrapper, and suddenly it was all too real.
I was doing this. I was going to have sex with Silas.
He tossed the wallet to the nightstand, then used one hand to shove his jeans down and off, leaving him in just his black boxer briefs. Looming over me, Silas placed one knee on the bed, and I scrambled back, making room for him to join me.
He laid on his side, looking cool and casual while I knelt beside him, feeling like a bomb was about to explode inside me, before he reached over and flicked on the lamp.
“I want to be able to see you,” he answered my questioning look softly. “I don’t want to miss a thing.”
I smiled, reaching out, starting at his ankle, and gently ran my hand up over his shin, feeling the wiry hairs tickle against my fingertips. As my fingers crossed over his knee, Silas flexed, the thick muscles of his thighs tightening under his tanned skin, and that’s when I noticed it, the small, shiny scar, faded now with time but still clearly visible. When I pressed my finger to the tight skin, Silas drew in a breath, his hand coming down on mine in a tight clench.
“Don’t.”
I blinked at him, then nodded. That was a conversation for another day, I guessed.
Before I could continue my exploration, Silas reared up, both hands capturing my face, and kissed me again. This kiss was just as frantic and needy as the first, and I was soon lost in the moment and the taste of Silas on my lips.
We kept kissing as he undid my bra, his sure fingers making quick work of the clasp as his large palm enveloped my moderately sized breasts. Silas didn’t seem to mind that any cleavage I had shown earlier was mostly push-up bra, though, because the second his hands covered them, he groaned into my mouth.
Silas gently guided me down to the bed, and when I was laying flat, he slid my panties off, then his own boxers, before reaching for the condom. I watched as he rolled the condom on, my eyes nearly bugging out at the size of his dick. I wasn’t sure he’d even fit inside me, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t gonna try my freaking best.
Once he was covered, Silas planted one hand on the mattress beside my head, the other he used to circle the base of his cock. I could feel my breaths coming short and fast, and I tried not to let my nerves show.
Silas situated himself between the cradle of my thighs, then, just as he notched the head of his dick at my entrance, he looked at me again.
“Is this still okay?” he asked, and I nodded. “I need your words, Princess.”
“Yes,” I breathed, unsure how I was even able to get the word out. “Yes, this is okay. Very okay.”
Silas grinned at me, then leaned in for another kiss as he began to push inside me.
It hurt.