I had known that it would, but the reality of it still surprised me.
Unable to keep quiet, I broke the kiss and turned my head to the side, burying my face in Silas’s shoulder as I moaned. Reaching up, I clung to his broad shoulders as he continued to fill me, every inch feeling bigger than the last.
When he finally stopped, our hips pressing close together, I took a deep breath, trying to will my muscles to relax.
“Fuck,” Silas groaned, his breath hot against the side of my face. “You feel so good. So tight, babe.”
His words sent my heart soaring, and when he started to move slowly, I bit my lip to keep from crying out. Silas continued to talk as he moved, his constant stream of praise and random words of endearment giving me something to focus on besides the hurt, and eventually, the pain began to fade.
By the time he really started to move, I was comfortable enough to move with him, and I lifted my hips when he moved down, trying to match his rhythm so that I could please him.
Suddenly, Silas shifted his position, his free hand coming down between us and his thumb pressing slow, firm circles on my clit.
“Oh!” I said, my eyes wide, and he gave me a dirty smirk.
“You like that, Princess? You gonna come for me?”
How could I not? Silas was touching me—he was inside me—and he was working my body like it had been designed exclusively for him.
“That’s right, baby. Come, Daphne.” He kept talking, but I couldn’t make out the words. My brain was full of white noise as sensations I had never experienced ran riot in my system.
I was dimly aware of Silas’s movements becoming more frantic, then with a heavy groan, he planted himself deep and then went still.
For a moment, neither of us moved. I could hear my heart beating in my ears like a drum and his skin was slick against mine.
Then Silas placed a tender kiss on the corner of my mouth before he pulled out and climbed off the bed, heading in the direction of the ensuite bathroom.
I watched him go, smiling like a fool, when suddenly he froze mid-step, and I knew it was all about to come crashing down.
“Daphne?”
I could hear the concern in his voice, and I knew it was going to be bad.
“Yes?”
Turning to face me, Silas continued to stare down at...himself. At the condom he was still wearing.
At the blood.
“Daph, are you—I mean, were you—did I just...” he trailed off, not quite sure how to ask what I knew he wanted to know.
“Yes,” I said simply because it was the truth. Sitting up straight, I went on, “that was my first time.”
The look of horror that crossed his face cut me deeply, and I pulled my knees up to my chest, hugging them tight.
“Jesus Christ,” he spat, stomping the rest of the way to the bathroom and turning on the light. I couldn’t see what he was doing, but the toilet flushed, then the sink came on, and soon he was storming back into the bedroom, his face like thunder.
“What the fuck, Daphne?”
“What?” I said meekly, not really understanding why he was so angry. “What’s the matter?”
“What’s the matter?” he mocked, and I hugged my knees tighter. “What’s the matter is that I just took your goddamn virginity, Daphne.”
“So? Why is that such a big deal? It’s not like I didn’t want you to.”
“The big deal is you should have told me. The big deal is that it makes this so much worse than it already was.”
“Worse? What’s worse? Me?” Did I do something wrong? I knew I wasn’t experienced, but he seemed to be enjoying himself. I mean, I thought he was.
“This is a fucking disaster,” he muttered, seemingly talking to himself. “You need to go.”
“What?” I was stunned. All the nights we had spent laughing and talking and enjoying each other’s company, and now, after what we had just shared, he was throwing me out. “Why? Silas, talk to me.”
He continued to mutter, growling out words that I couldn’t make out as he tugged on his jeans without even bothering to put on any underwear.
“Silas, please,” I said, reaching for him, feeling vulnerable because I was still naked. When he looked at me, I knew he saw the tears in my eyes, but he ignored them as he picked up my dress from beside the bed and tossed it at me.
“I said you need to go, Daphne.”
“I don’t understand.” I was begging, pleading with him to tell me why it was such a big deal. Why he was so mad about something that had been so magical to me.
“Of course, you don’t,” he hollered, and I jerked back against the headboard, clutching the dress to my chest. “Nothing has never not gone your way, has it?” Silas shook his head and let out a derisive laugh. “Everything always works out for the Princess. Meanwhile, I’m fucked, Daphne. Do you get that?” Picking up his t-shirt, he pulled it over his head before continuing. “I made a promise to your brother, my best friend, that I would leave you alone, and tonight I shit all over that promise. Not only did I fuck my best friend’s kid sister, but I took her goddamned virginity. Do you know how shitty that makes me feel?”
I shook my head, even though I was pretty sure he couldn’t feel as bad as I was feeling. I knew I was crying, but I couldn’t make myself stop.
He was ruining it. He was ruining everything, and he had no intention of fixing it.
“Now, I have asked you to fucking leave,” he snarled, pointing to the door as he stared at me, sobbing and huddled against the headboard in a sniveling mess. Eyes narrowing, Silas shook his head. “Never mind. I’ll leave.”
And with that, he turned for the door, yanking it open and tossing me one last angry look.
“I never should have let you in.”
The door slammed behind him, and I crumpled on to the bed, holding the pillow to my chest as I cried.
All my life, Silas had been a bright light, the person who I compared all others against.
I had given him my heart when I was five years old.
And he had just stomped all over it.