Skylar’s head swiveled to him. “No, it wasn’t. You saved me. You walked in there and saved me.”
Butcher approached. “You need help getting up, Shades?”
Shades frowned up at him.
Butcher nodded toward the meeting room. “This won’t take long.”
Shades nodded and got to his feet.
“Mind if I sit in?” Undertaker asked Butcher.
Butcher stared at him for a moment, and then nodded. “All right, you got anything to say, you can say it, but you don’t get a vote.”
Shades looked over at Skylar. “Will you be okay for a few minutes?”
She nodded. “I’ll be fine. Go.” After Shades and the rest of the brothers trouped into the meeting room, she moved to the bar.
Tink reached over and laid her hand over Skylar’s.
“You okay, doll?”
Skylar gave her a timid smile. “I’m fine.”
“What can I get you?”
“Jack and Coke.”
“You got it, honey.” Tink quickly mixed her drink and set it before her.
Skylar felt someone sit down on the barstool next to her and looked over to find Blood.
“Crown,” he told Tink.
Skylar sipped her drink as Tink poured him a couple inches in a short tumbler, setting it in front of him.
He looked over at Skylar. “You okay, darlin’?”
She nodded and gave him a halfhearted smile.
He nudged her with his shoulder. “You know I was gonna give Shades a run for his money, but I gotta say…You seem like a lotta work, Cupcake.” He grinned at her, and she knew he was trying to make her laugh.
His words reminded her of everything that Shades had just done to get her free. She couldn’t stop herself from thinking about how violent this MC life that he had chosen was, and it gave her pause. I can’t do it, she thought. This club meant everything to Shades. How could she ever compete with that?
Her mind was racing. And suddenly it was all too much. She couldn’t breathe. The walls of the clubhouse were closing in on her. She couldn’t think. Not here, not now. She needed time. She needed to breathe.
Panic overwhelmed her, and she pushed off the barstool. She noticed Blood’s confused look as she whispered, “I can’t do this.”
She just had to get out of there. Out of this room, out of this
clubhouse. She dashed toward the exit. By the time her tunnel vision cleared, she was out on the back stairs, leaning heavily on the railing. Blood must think she was insane the way she’d suddenly ran out.
Her eyes traveled around the lot at all the rows and rows of motorcycles.
She couldn’t stay. She couldn’t do this. Why had she ever thought she could? Why had Ghost been so sure she could? She loved Shades. She did. But suddenly she was afraid that wouldn’t be enough. Not for a man like him. He wasn’t the same boy she’d fallen in love with years ago. Back then he’d been sweet and tender and loving. Until he’d shoved her aside, and he’d crushed her. Now he was a grown man, hardened into this life, everything about him bespoke of his dedication and loyalty to the club. He had it in him to be VP, maybe even lead this club one day. He had the confidence, self-assurance and street smarts. He was good at reading people, and he was smart at figuring out problems and diffusing situations.
He would need a woman just as strong, and she was afraid that would never be her. Maybe they could make it work for a while, but someday he’d see it, he’d realize…and then when he did, where would that leave her? If he tossed her aside again, she knew she wouldn’t be able to survive it a second time.
Oh, God.