I couldn't imagine he would appreciate it.
She eyed me thoroughly, releasing a deep sigh. Like she was my friend. "I wondered if we might speak without Lino for a few moments. I know it's inappropriate to ambush you at work like this, but I didn't see any other way to get to you. Emilio is always with you."
I nodded, feeling like I'd swallowed glass as I gestured to the seats in the waiting area. "Why don't we take a seat?"
"Thank you." She perched on the edge of a chair, and I took the one across from her for a bit of distance. Where she looked perfect and poised, I leaned back to get comfortable, though I crossed my legs despite the relaxed position. "I just wanted to be sure you're aware of what you've married into. The Bellandi's are—"
"I know what the Bellandi's are and what they do. I believe I told you at the party that my brother is among their ranks. I've known Lino since he was just a boy. Did you know that?" I asked, tracing the birthmark in my palm with my fingers the way Lino might have in this situation. The familiar touch comforted me, gave me the feeling that he was there with me for the conversation I truly wanted no part in.
"With all respect, being the little sister of a friend of the family doesn't mean you know anything about the Bellandi's."
"You misunderstand me. Yavin didn't introduce me to Lino, it was the other way around. Lino has been my friend for longer than he's been Yavin's. I may not know every move that he makes or every decision he's ever made, but I suspect no wife does. That isn't my place in his life," I stated. "It never has been, and a ring on my finger won't change that."
"And what exactly is it that you think your place is?" she asked, a little smirk curving her lips.
"I've always been Lino's solace from that part of his life. The place he went to feel human again after something made him feel like a monster. His comfort," I answered. "The only thing that has changed is now he takes solace in me in a greater variety of ways."
"That's cute, but it won't last. He won't divorce you, obviously. You know that, but a man like Angelino doesn't stay faithful to one woman. There have been countless women who tried, and I have no doubt they were a little more creative than you in that department. He's a Bellandi, and they always wander from their wives. Lino planned to avoid that entirely, claiming he would never marry," she sighed.
"Obviously something changed," I argued.
"Yes, he needed to protect you from your first husband." She grinned at me, like she'd already won the battle I hadn't wanted to fight.
“Is there a purpose to you being here? Aside from an attempt to stir up drama. I mean, I realize that you clearly think very little of how much Lino cares for me, but regardless of what you think he isn’t a man who would marry someone he doesn’t want. I am important to him in ways you can’t even begin to imagine.” As I spoke the words, I realized how true they were. Lino had alternatives to dealing with Connor, with Yavin being part of the family I shouldn’t have needed the Bellandi name to protect me. Not when Yavin could have done it nearly as effectively.
"And yet, if it hadn't been for that, who knows if he ever would have changed your relationship. I doubt it, because even he knows that he gets bored easily. If he truly found solace in you, he wouldn't have wanted to give that up for a few weeks of sex, months perhaps. Though it would be a record if it lasted that long."
My fingers dug into my palms, and I wanted nothing more than to slap her, but I refrained in the interest of keeping my face casual and bored even while I vibrated with fury. I’d spent enough time questioning our relationship; I didn’t need others to do it for me, but she continued as if my opinion on the matter was entirely secondary.
"You'll serve a purpose of course. At least you'll be able to give him legitimate heirs. His father has pressured him for more years than I can count to marry for that reason. Before you know it, you'
ll be staying home with the children Angelino declares he wants. It will be sudden, because Lino doesn't have a patient bone in his body. You're married, so why not?" She stood, brushing her hands down her pencil skirt as she looked down at me with sympathy in her eyes.
"You're wrong," I accused, but the seed had already planted in my head. I’d hoped that Lino’s sudden interest in children had come to pass for the same reason mine had, but it seemed convenient when his father and this bitch kept throwing the need for them in my face.
Men only hurt you.
Why would I have thought Lino could be any different?
"So he's told you he loves you then?" She raised an eyebrow at me sardonically, and I had to turn my head away as I considered her words. "He's very good at making you feel it without ever saying it. Any number of women will tell you that when the time comes and you declare your love for him, he'll tell you that you misunderstood his intentions. That he doesn't love you. That everything he made you feel was nothing but a twist of your imagination. He's a good time boy, Samara. I know you're already married, so the damage is done to some respect. But there's no reason you can't move forward understanding exactly what kind of marriage you'll have. It will hurt less in the end. I hope, one day, you can look back and understand I came here to save you future pain." She nodded at me, turning to stride for the door.
The sound of her heels ticking against the floor drew me from my reflection, and I stood. I plastered on my best poker face, smiling at her blandly. "Have a nice day, Ms. Romano. Thank you for coming, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't interrupt my workday again. Surely in the future you can just call Lino and tell him you'd like to do lunch. I don't imagine he'd have an issue with you telling me these things, assuming they are true."
She scowled at me before she stepped through the door, and I knew I'd been at least somewhat successful in convincing her I was unbothered. Turning back to my desk, I debated the pile of work that waited for me, but I knew I would never in a million years be able to focus with the way my heart felt like it was in my stomach.
So stupid.
He really had never told me he loved me. I’d meant it when I told Linda that it felt like he communicated it without saying it, but if other women felt that way?
Was I really any different?
He'd never actually said the words, though it felt like he had to have said them with all the declarations he'd made about our future. How it was just him and I in our marriage. But maybe it was just his attempt to control me, since Bellandi women weren't allowed affairs in spite of their husbands.
I had the horrifying thought that if all Bellandi's had affairs, what did that mean for poor Ivory? But I brushed it off in the next second. I'd seen the way that Matteo looked at her like she hung the moon and stars herself. There was no way in Hell that man was anything less than faithful to his wife. He gave her the looks and the words to back up his actions.
Unlike Lino. I got heated stares, sure. But couldn't he give those to any attractive woman? Yavin said he’d seen Lino with many women, did he make them feel the same way I felt? Had I mistaken sex for love for the second time in my life, with a second husband?
A sob stuck in my throat, but I forced it down and stepped over to Jasper's closed door. With a little push, I opened the door and peeked my head in. "I'm going to go grab a snack from downstairs. Do you want anything?"