"No, I'm good. See you soon," he said, never even looking up from his computer. Totally engrossed in whatever he worked on, but also distracted by whatever secret he kept tight to his chest. For one single moment, I decided to be pleased that he couldn't bother to pay attention to me. If he had, he'd have seen the way my soul splintered, the way the need to run pulsed through me.
Men only hurt.
I wanted to go, but with the threat of Connor looming over me, I couldn’t just walk out the doors. I grabbed my phone off my desk, typing Yavin’s number in and waiting for him to answer. “I need you to pick me up from work. Now,” I said with a flinch. I didn’t often even attempt to tell Yavin what to do, so it wasn’t like me to snap at him the second he answered the phone.
“What’s wrong, Smalls?” he asked, and his voice was quiet. He knew. He knew as well as anyone would know that the only person who could make me splinter like this was Lino. He’d tried to warn me, and again I hadn’t listened.
“Pull up to the side door. I’ll meet you there,” I said, and I packed up my things and waited just a few minutes before my anxiety got the best of me.
Men only hurt.
The thought echoed in my head, feeling all the more painful because I'd thought that if nothing else, Lino would never hurt me with lies and dishonesty. He might have hurt me by not wanting me, but I couldn't exactly blame him just for not feeling the same way about me. Leading me to believe we had something more than a marriage that protected me if we didn't? That I could blame him for. Making me believe he wanted children with me and not just heirs to the Bellandi empire? That was an unforgivable sin against me.
I snagged my purse off the desk and strutted my way to the elevator, catching it on the way down. More and more people filled it as we descended during the late afternoon rush of people leaving last appointments for the day. Panic surged through me when I thought of having to sneak past Emilio, but his back was turned, and I managed to blend in with the crowd until I stepped out the side door. The need to get away from all things Lino put a tangible pressure on my chest.
Emilio never saw me standing just outside the side entrance, clinging to the building like it could save me from would-be abductors. By the time Yavin pulled up, I was a nervous mess. I had a few hours at best before they realized I was gone, and I felt horrible guilt for what it would mean for Jasper when I didn't come back.
But I already knew an hour wouldn't be enough. An hour wouldn't be enough time to process my options and try to tame my heart back into the state where it didn't care. Where it didn't want.
Where it could use Lino, just the way he used me.
“What’s going on, Smalls?” Yavin whispered, reaching over to take my hand in his. I bit back a sob.
"I just need to get away for a little bit. I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to think about it. Can you just take me to The Bird Lounge, please? I need to listen to music."
“Yeah. Yeah, I can take you there, Samara,” Yavin murmured, and he went quiet. Yavin was tumultuous and prone to fits, but he also knew when he could push the limits with me and when I was at my breaking point.
I had to hope I didn’t snap this time.
Thirty-Nine
Lino
The call from Emilio couldn't have come at a less convenient time. Training my new manager at Indulgence had hit critical importance. Enzo couldn't keep filling in and doing two jobs, but I also couldn't bring myself to leave Samara alone in bed at night and come to the club. It wasn't like I oversaw the nightly activities at the club anyway; I mostly worked in the office upstairs in case there was a situation that needed my attention.
Or unless something with the other side of the businesses demanded my attention. Like meetings with our gun or drug suppliers where Matteo wanted to present a united front. Those things I could and would still do, as was expected of me as one of Matteo's closest confidantes, but the mundane bullshit of running the club didn't need my attention.
My new manager was experienced and came highly recommended, it was just a new place and there were all sorts of standards involved with working for the Bellandi's. He needed to understand that when we said we'd bury him if he broke the confidentiality agreement, we meant it.
"Yeah?" I grunted as soon as the phone hit my ear.
"Mia Romano just went up to see Mrs. Bellandi about twenty minutes ago. She said you sent her, so I let her up. But now I'm thinking on it and wondering why you would send one of your father's good time girls to see your wife."
My body froze solid. The way Mia had assessed Samara at the club ran through my head, the catt
y way she'd tried to start shit about my marriage and fidelity. Like it was any of her business what I did with my wife or outside my marriage.
She'd been fishing for gossip, I knew. Looking for weaknesses that she could turn to my father and exploit.
I'd known better than to believe my father had truly given his blessing, but I never expected he might send a woman to do his dirty work. "Get up there now. I want to know what kind of toxic bullshit she's spinning." Samara had only just started to come around, started to believe that what we had was genuine. It had taken far too long to break down those walls she'd put up against me and all other men. I wouldn't fucking go so gently if she made me do it again.
"She just left," Emilio said. "I didn't think to stop her."
"Go to Samara then. Make sure she's okay. Call me when you have her. I want to know what that woman said to her," I snarled, turning to watch the door. I knew Mia wasn't due to work for hours yet, but it didn't stop me from wishing she was there so I could get my own answers.
"Yes, boss," Emilio grunted in my ear and the phone disconnected.
I kept it in my hand, drumming my fingers against the back of the case.