Emily
David rolls onto his back,and I straddle his waist. At this moment, I feel brave and whole. I reach down and grab the bottom of my shirt, lifting it slowly over my head with bated breath. He grabs my hips and presses into me. His thrusts are slow and shallow. He’s getting close.
“I’m going to come, Em,” he whispers with heavy breath.
He tries to stop my hips from their rhythmic motions, but can’t. His body tenses beneath me, and his fingers dig into the flesh of my hips. I continue to rock until he relaxes under me. I kiss him, and time stops around us. He hugs me until we almost become a single entity.
“I love you, Emily.”
“I love you.”
We lay together. Our naked bodies fit perfectly against each other, like matching puzzle pieces. I trace my fingers down his chest, so tan and muscled now. His job does wonders for him.
It’s easy to forget how unattractive I feel when someone like David looks at me this way. He has never looked at me like I was a fat girl. Or a broken girl. The reality is, we are both broken. Like pieces of glass, we cut and hurt those around us. But when bound together, we create something beautiful.
* * *
David
I wake next to Emily.Was that a dream? I reach under the blanket and wrap my arm around her, rubbing my hand down her side. She’s only wearing her panties. She squirms a bit at my touch, but remains asleep. I lay back and try to ingrain last night into my memory.
Despite my excitement over finally making love to Emily, I worry about what this means for us. If there is an us.
Emily stirs. She turns over and looks up at me, smiling her sweet smile. I reach over and brush her hair from her cheek. I don’t know if I should kiss her. I don’t know what I am supposed to do now.
She leans over and puts her head on my chest, closing her eyes as if listening to the music of my heartbeat. Her hand trails down my bare chest, past my stomach, and her hand slips into my boxers. I gasp, half in surprise and half in excitement. I guess I know how she felt about last night. She can obviously tell how I feel about it. We can deal with the doubt later. Right now, I’m starving.
I grab her chin and bring her lips to mine. I kiss her with passion and desire. Her mouth is warm and inviting. I’m trying so hard to sedate the beast within me. The desire to take her as roughly as I can and leave marks on her pale skin is intense. But this is Emily. I can’t be that David when I’m with Emily. She has hated that David for as long as I can remember. And so have I.
* * *
Emily
I kiss David back.I ache between my legs in more ways than one. I am sore, yes, but also excited.
His hands inch from my chest and trace toward my stomach. I don’t pull away or try to hide myself from him. His hand finds the excitement between my legs. I moan against his mouth. He rocks his hand against me and teases me with his fingertips, and I finish before he even starts. My body is electric.
He falls between my legs, and his lips find mine again. I can feel how turned on he is. He’s trembling.
I look into his slate-gray eyes and get lost within them. I close my eyes as he surges inside me. I finally know how it feels to be the one receiving attention from David Norstar. I get to experience what it’s like to be the object of his desires. It’s exactly how I dreamed it would be for so many years.
David’s thrusts send shivers up my spine. He has fire on his fingertips. I’ve never experienced such a thing, and I’m not sure I ever will again. My heart sinks as anxiety creeps to the forefront of my mind. It claws out of my brain and pokes and prods until thoughts pour from the depths of it.
What if this isn’t what I hope it is? What if this is merely passion spilling over from so many years of lust? Just because you can fuck doesn’t mean you should.
“Emily?”
He notices that I’m deep in my thoughts. He knows the look I get when anxiety takes over. I don’t realize I’m crying until David wipes the tear from my cheek. He kisses me and hugs me tightly, but I try to push him away. I can’t face this right now.
He pulls me onto his lap and holds me tighter. It feels like every other time, but this is the first time I have been naked. He lets me bury my face into his neck as I sob.
“Can you give me a minute?” I ask, wiping at my nose.
David leaves the bedroom so I can dress. I come out of his room wearing a t-shirt and my underwear. I look in the mirror as I walk by and sigh at the sight of my thighs. I guess he’s seen it all now. I walk out to the kitchen table and exhale as I sit in the chair. My body feels heavy.
David places a mug in front of me, and I look up at him. He’s still shirtless. The sexy V peeking from his pants might as well be a roadmap toward the most delicious part of him.
“Do we need to talk about it?” David asks as he sits down across from me.
Does David think there’s a we? My heart races.
“Which part?” I ask, though I know which moment he’s referring to.
“I guess I want to know where that freak out came from. I thought everything was going great—”
“It’s just a lot, David. I don’t know if we should have—”
“Well, I don’t regret a single second of it. It kinda seems like you do, though.”
He puts down his coffee mug, looks away from me, and traces his finger along the table. He appears defeated. At such a delicate moment, a single sentence could be enough to do irreparable damage. I go to his side of the table and climb onto his lap. He looks up at me and his lips are taut as I put my hand around the back of his neck, pulling him closer to me.
“I just want to make it very clear that I don’t regret any of that,” I say. “I’m terrified. I’m scared of losing you and losing our friendship. You have no idea how big of a space you occupy in my heart. There’s hardly room for anyone else. Doing what we did can change our dynamic.“
“I hope it does,” he says.