9
Randy
Six months later.
I’m a full-grown man, and yet I’m practically skipping to the entrance of the fire station today. I feel like a giddy schoolboy in love because I called Sam while I was in my truck on my way to work, and the conversation was nothing too crazy or out of the ordinary for us. It was just a short check-in before my shift, but still, it’s obvious I’m an idiot in love.
After all, Sam and I have been dating for a good while now, and it’s been fucking fabulous. Truthfully, I never thought that I’d be the kind of guy to be happy with just one woman. In my life before Sam, I was pretty much a male whore. I loved ‘em and left ‘em right and left, non-stop. I’m lucky I didn’t come down with any venereal diseases.
Plus, when my brother Ed got married, I was happy for him, but I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him too because it seemed like he was being chained down. The thought of restricting myself to one woman for the rest of my life was totally unpalatable, and my skin crawled at the thought.
But now, things are different. I guess it takes meeting the right woman to do a one eighty because I’ve never felt as free as I have while being with Sam. It’s just the two of us and there have been no other women for a good long time now, but I feel completely satisfied and at peace. I can’t even imagine wanting to be with someone else now that she’s in the picture because the curvy brunette’s everything I want and need.
The two of us get along great, and to be honest, it’s a little weird we’re not sick of one another given how much time we spend together. Shit, she practically lives with me now, and to be honest, I’m thinking of asking Sam to move in. It’d be nice to have continual access to those sassy curves, and I’ve heard of this new thing called “free use.” Basically, one partner is always available to the other for hot times, and I want to initiate Sam into the lifestyle. It would be pure pleasure to bend Sam over any time of the day I want, and to own those curves whether she’s ready or not. My buddy Jethro’s the one who told me about the free use concept, and let’s just say I can’t wait to give it a try.
Whistling, I approach the station. But when I haul open the door, a shush descends. Heads turn and my co-workers’ gazes are measured as they look at me cautiously. Meanwhile, Jethro comes over, his expression serious.
“Yo,” I growl. “What’s up?”
My friend clears his throat and claps a hand on my back before walking me over to the corner.
“Hey, Randy,” he says in an even tone. “The calendars are out.”
I nod slowly.
“Yeah? That’s great because I’m Mr. January again this year, right? I can’t wait to see them.”
Jethro nods slowly.
“Yeah, you’re Mr. January, bud. But you know that this year, the station decided to release playing cards as well, right? They’re like baseball cards, except featuring firemen and not MLB sluggers.”
I nod, still puzzled. I don’t understand why everyone, including Jethro, looks so damn tense, but I try my best to just go along with it.
“Yeah sure, the cards sound like a great idea. But what’s with the long face? Is everything alright?”
Jethro glances behind him and some of our co-workers are speaking in hushed voices while staring at us. Jethro lets out a quiet sigh as he pulls a stack of cards out from his pocket. He rifles through them for a few moments before handing me one of them, and then the shit hits the fan. WTF?
My eyes go so wide that I can swear that they nearly fall out of the sockets once I see the Mr. January baseball card because it features a photo of me naked with my cock totally visible, hard and heavy, the tip gleaming with a smear of male fluid. Holy shit!
“What the fuck?” I ask in a befuddled voice. “What the hell is this?”
Jethro rests his hands on his hips and squints at me.
“Dude, you’ve got some explaining to do. How the hell did this picture get taken in the first place? I mean, you used Isaac right?”
I stammer a little as I try to come up with the right words.
“Yeah, because we all did. During the shoot, Isaac asked if I wanted to do some nude pictures, you know, just to do something a little different. I agreed because I knew that they wouldn’t end up in the calendar. I thought it was basically nothing, and that it was just private. You can even ask Sam because she was there. We never thought these would end up in the calendar, much less in a pack of cards.”
Jethro sighs and nods, shaking his head regretfully.
“Well, obviously there’s been a mix-up because the playing cards have already been published. Basically right now, everybody and their mother are getting a look at your tool.”
Horror strikes me, making my blood run cold.
“Fuck!” I curse loudly, throwing the cards on the floor. “What the hell! You can’t tell me that all of Cedar Toms is seeing me like this right now.”
Jethro shakes his head, his expression regretful.
“Worse, my friend. These cards are already on the shelves all throughout New Jersey. It’s not just Cedar Toms citizens getting a look at your package. It’s everyone in our lovely Garden State.”
I literally let out a scream of rage then, the wounded cry ringing throughout the fire station. Jethro claps me on the back, trying to calm me down.
“Listen, try not to get worked up, okay? The station is trying their very best to do a recall. It’s just difficult because like I said, these things have already hit the shelves, so some damage has already been done. But it’s fine. This will blow over in no time.”
I merely let out another wounded howl.
“Blow over? Are you fucking kidding me? Children are likely gazing at my naked cock right now!”
Jethro nods regretfully.
“Fraid so.”
I scream again.
“FUCK! Fuck fuck fuck! What the hell? Who did this?”
My friend shakes his head.
“We don’t know right now, but trust me, officials are looking into it. We’ll get to the bottom of this, I swear.”
But it’s too late for me as I sink lifelessly onto the beaten couch in the station. After all, what kind of career do I have before me now? This isn’t a joke. In fact, it’s not funny at all. My life as I know it is over, and all because of a fun photoshoot that went off the rails.