Montana Desire

Chapter 29

Grant

Something wasn’t right.

I stayed standing in that spot, staring at Cori’s house for long minutes, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. My instincts had been spot-on—something was wrong, because that wasn’t Cori.

It wasn’t that I was arrogant enough to think she couldn’t change her mind, but yesterday, she’d been the one convincing me that I didn’t need to wait until the surgery for some kind of commitment. I didn’t see how she would make that drastic of a switch in only a day unless something had happened to cause it.

Knowing that it was wrong didn’t make it hurt less.

I walked forward, not really knowing why until I was at Cori’s steps. I wasn’t Joel. I wasn’t going to force her to be with me or fight what she wanted. But everything in me told me that this wasn’t what she actually wanted.

One more step, and I stopped.

Cori was crying. Not crying like she had when she’d walked away—this was crying like I’d never heard before. She was crying like someone had died. Those sounds… I would never forget her sounding like that.

Everything in me wanted to go to her. She shouldn’t be alone right now. I wanted to wrap her up and let her cry until she’d gotten it all out—even if the reason she was crying at all was me.

It tore me up to back away. It hurt, almost as much as the pain that I was desperately shoving down. I’d always been afraid that my back would be the reason someone would push me away. That fear was spiraling down my center and trying to tell me that I was worthless.

But I didn’t buy it.

I knew what I felt. And yesterday, Cori had been in the same place that I was. Last night, she’d slept in my bed. Cried out my name and kissed me goodbye when she went to work, looking at me like I was the sun in her sky. Things couldn’t change that fast.

Could they?

There was no way I could just go into my house and be without her in there. Not now. I’d be trapped in my thoughts, going in circles, and I would drive myself crazy.

Instead, I got straight back into my truck and pulled away. Distance was the only thing that would ensure I wouldn’t go and check that she was okay. And I needed to get out of my own head.

That was the nice thing about Resting Warrior. It was the same as having a twenty-four seven gym membership. Thankfully, there were no cows in my way this time. I sprayed pebbles coming to a stop in front of our gym facility behind the main lodge.

Changing, I pushed myself. First, with a sprint on the treadmill to warm myself up. Then, I put on gloves and started beating the hell out of one of the bags. This was exactly what I needed.

Pain started to bloom in my back, but I ignored it. I needed the pain. Let myself feel it. It was more concrete than the pain that was pulsing in my chest. Easier to deal with.

The sound of the doors behind me startled me, but not enough to stop me from punching my invisible enemy. “What are you doing here, Grant?”

That was Noah’s voice. One more hit, and I turned to find him and Jude walking far too casually toward me. Liam was hanging back by the door. “I’m not allowed to work out?”

“That’s a stupid response, and you know it,” Jude said.

“By all means, tell me what kind of response I’m supposed to have.”

Noah held up his hands. “Hold on a second. Liam just told us that you came screaming into the driveway and nearly burned rubber stopping in front of the gym. Given the fact that we all assumed you would be having some very private birthday celebrations with Cori right now, we wanted to make sure you were okay.”

I glared at them. “I’m fine.”

“A phrase that is well-known for being basically a lie,” Jude added.

Irrational anger rose in my chest. “Did you wake up this morning and decide to become a comedian?” I said to Jude, taking a step toward him. “Because you should rethink that choice.”

Jude was a giant of a man. He towered over most of us by six inches and had easily sixty pounds of muscle on me. That didn’t matter. Right now, I’d beat him with pleasure.

“Grant,” Noah said. “What happened?”

I didn’t look at him. “None of your business.”

“It is when you’re taunting fellow team members.”

“Nothing,” I said. “Nothing happened.” Back to the punching bag. The only sound in the gym was the sound of my gloves hitting the canvas. “You guys just going to watch me do this?”

“Grant,” Noah said. “What’s going on?”

“What’s going on is that I need to be left alone,” I said, punctuating my words with strikes. “And I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

I didn’t turn around to find out if they were leaving, but I finally heard footsteps retreating and the door close. They’d find out soon enough. Right now, I needed to be here exhausting myself, not spilling my feelings about it. That was something that would inevitably come later. Probably during one of my sessions with Rayne.

It was late when I stopped. I couldn’t force myself any further. My back hurt like a bitch, and I was limping. That was fine. It was what I needed. It made sure that when I got home, I would fall asleep. Tomorrow, I’d deal with the guys and figure out what the hell was really going on.

Or at least I hoped that I would.

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