I don’t either. I wish I did, but it doesn’t make sense. Maybe she wasn’t that important from the start, but now that he knows I care about her—although the conversation in the park keeps coming back, over and over. At the time I just assumed he was fucking with us. But what if he wasn’t? What if he meant it all?
“It doesn’t matter why. Come on, Casso. Elise, Karah, Olivia, everyone loves Mirella. The girls will be devastated if something bad happens to her.”
“And what about you? Are you going to be devastated?” He’s not saying it to hurt me. I can tell he genuinely wants to know. But it hurts all the same.
I glare at my older brother. Gavino’s watching me curiously. Fuck them, fuck them both. I clutch my cane tightly.
“You know it’ll kill me if we lose her.”
Casso nods slowly as if he knew I’d say that and hoped I wouldn’t.
“You really love her, don’t you?” Gavino asks.
I nod once, taking a deep breath, resolute. “Yes, I love her.”
The words come out sharp and I mean them with all my heart.
I’ve never loved a woman before. I’ve been attracted to women, plenty of women, but I’ve never cared about one enough to stick around for very long after fucking her senseless.
But Mirella is different. She pulled me in and now I can’t escape. I’m hers and she’s mine, and I can’t imagine a life beyond this moment without her in it.
I won’t allow that to happen.
“And if we get her back, are you going to want to marry her?” Casso asks.
“Yes, I want to marry her.”
“Well, fuck,” Gavino says, laughing. “That explains a whole lot. I knew you liked her—but fuck.”
“You love her.” Casso sighs, shaking his head. “That only complicates the situation.”
“How the fuck does it complicate anything?” I snarl at him, seething. “For me it simplifies everything. She’s more important than territory. She’s more important—”
Casso cuts me off. “More important than the Famiglia?” He stares at me, but there’s no anger in his gaze, no malice. There’s only a deep, enduring sadness. Like he’s almost daring me to say it even though he already knows the truth.
I say nothing.
There are no words for this moment.
“My whole life has been the Famiglia,” Gavino says quietly, surprising us both. He’s staring into the pool, not moving as the water ripples in as light breeze. “I never really pictured anything else. Fighting, money, power. That’s what it means to be a Bruno. But lately I’ve been watching everyone meet their partners and fall in love and I’m just starting to wonder, does the Famiglia have to be so—narrow?”
“Careful,” Casso says, shifting in his seat slightly. What Gavino’s saying is dangerously close to treason. It sounds like he wants to expand the Famiglia, but that goes against everything we believe. The Famiglia must be protected and contained at all costs.
“I’m only trying to say, can’t Mirella be part of what we mean when we talk about family? Can’t we do more for her?”
My chest blooms with pride. My brother’s trying to help me, even though I’m not sure he truly means what he’s saying. The attempt still warms my bleak, rotten soul.
“I’m sorry,” Casso says looking at me. “I won’t give up that territory. Not for her or anybody. I wouldn’t do it for my own life. I’m sorry.”
“Then you’re a fucking coward,” I say and I don’t care that I’m insulting the Don. Right now, I’m talking to my brother Casso, and the Famiglia can go to hell for all I care. “Would you do it for Olivia? Huh, would you leave her to rot in the hands of your enemies?”
His jaw tightens. “That’s different.”
“How the fuck is it different?” I roar at him, taking a step forward. I suddenly want to strangle the bastard with my bare hands. Casso stands up, almost daring me to come forward.
“She’s my wife. The mother of my child.”
“I want Mirella to be all of that for me.”
“And what does she want?” He practically spits the words in my face. “Does Mirella want all that or are you just infatuated with some pussy?” He comes forward, glaring hard, and I go to meet him.
Gavino rushes between us. He shoves me back and shoves a finger in Casso’s face. “Easy, asshole,” he barks.
I stand there breathing hard. “It’s not like that,” I say and I’m not sure that it’s true. I want Mirella, I love Mirella—but does she feel the same way? I thought we were getting there, but now I’m not sure. Now it feels like she got a taste of what it really means to be in the Famiglia, and she’s not going to like it at all.
What if he’s right? If I’m infatuated with Mirella but she doesn’t feel the same way then all of this would be for nothing. I might tear the Famiglia into pieces all for some hopeless, pathetic crush on a woman that doesn’t return my feelings.