As I step into the bathroom, I grin. I really am a sick fuck. Taking one last deep inhale on my cancer stick, I toss it into the toilet while I piss.
If I was smart I’d send her to Granger’s, have her hang with Gia. That’s what I’ve done with every other woman: send them away.
I roll my neck, hearing it crack. Yeah, she should go. It’s gonna get bloody soon.
Instead, I flush and bark out, “You don’t go anywhere today.” I’m a selfish prick. Julianna stays until she catches on to the fact that in this life, I’m the bad guy.
“Ryder, your phone is vibrating,” she calls out as I splash cold water on my face, then grab a towel.
Walking out, I retrieve it.
“Did you hear me? Nowhere without me,” I growl, tossing the towel away and taking a good look at her.
She lounges, with pillows propped behind her, legs crossed, one bobbing up and down while she scrolls on her phone, smoking a cigarette.
This is the moment I know I might be fucked.
“That’s fine.” She brings the cigarette to her lips swollen from my mouth, and I almost reach for that human organ they call a heart.
Instead, I grab my phone.
Tons of texts from Axel, Edge, Rip, and one from Blade saying I missed Church and he was sending a prospect to see if I’m dead.
Fucking perfect.
I pull on some black jeans, a T-shirt, and my boots, then text Frosty to see if he has the information I asked for yesterday.
Pocketing my phone, I look down at my jewel. “I don’t know what time I’ll be back.” I take her cigarette.
She sighs and tosses her phone aside. “Well, I’m swamped. I need to sunbathe, get ahold of my lawyer. Maybe block my ex and my dad.”
Her eyes twinkle like the clearest blue of a cloudless day. My mouth twitches. Inhaling, I taste her: smoke, apples, and citrus, my favorite things. I reach for my cut and pull it on while I look down at her, unable to resist rubbing her lips with my thumb.
“Be good today.”
She nods up at me. Her nipples are hard and her neck is flushed.
My nostrils flare. “You’re not allowed to touch yourself.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.” She bites her lip playfully.
I cock my head and gaze at her. She’s everything that can make me complete, but twenty years too late.
“Don’t make the mistake of thinking I’m something I’m not, Bellezza.” My hand trails down her neck. Her coyness instantly fades as she sits up and jerks her head free.
“Don’t worry. You constantly remind me.” She reaches for her cigarette.
Quite frankly I don’t know if I like her smoking, but I don’t have time to get into it with her.
“I’ll be back later.” Not looking back, I grab my keys off the dresser and head out. Would I like to pretend that I’m a normal man? Sure, but that’s not fair to her. Julianna is good and pure. It sucks she’s getting tarnished with all my darkness.
But I have no intention of letting her go, not until they cart me off in a body bag or to jail. I’m not right. Somewhere I lost my empathy, got twisted. I can smile and have a beer with you, then slice your throat if that’s what’s needed.
No women.
No kids.
No animals.
Other than that, I’m completely at peace to enforce. And, if it looks like this hotshot lawyer can’t get me off, and the club or my brothers are at risk of going down for my fuckup… I will take the fall.
Because at the end of the day, the Disciples is who I am, first and last.
RYDER
Present
Disciples’ clubhouse
Burbank, CA
“Hey, brother.” Rip breaks into my dark thoughts as I shut the door to my room. He stands, legs crossed, leaning against his door and holding two cups of 7-Eleven coffee.
I shake my head and walk past him.
“I got you a peace offering.” He shoves the coffee at me. “Just the way you like it.” He grins, his eyes looking way worse than yesterday.
“Rip.” I stop and take a breath. “I’m done. I got it out yesterday. Don’t piss me off by sniffing around Julianna and we’re fine.” I start to go downstairs and say over my shoulder, “And stop being a dick.”
He laughs, then stops. “Listen, you’re my brother and the enforcer, but if you fuck with her, I’m gonna have a problem.”
I look back at him. Rip’s got balls, always has, but he’s not allowed to tell me shit, especially not about Julianna.
“If you have a brain in your head, Rip, you’ll back the fuck away.”
He shakes his head and takes a sip of one of the coffees. “Nah, I need to get this out. Julianna’s my friend. She knows nothing of this life. And for some fucked-up reason, she’s in love with you.”