Another thought entered his head then, a thought that chilled his blood and for a moment stopped his heart. ‘The baby?’
‘It’s fine, too.’
‘Then why are you crying?’ he demanded, the indescribable relief flooding through him sharpening his tone.
She blew her nose and gave a shrug. ‘Onions.’
He went still. ‘What?’
‘I’ve been chopping onions.’
Right. So. Her tears weren’t because of him. They were because of onions. That was good. Wasn’t it? ‘In a dressing gown?’
She lifted her chin a fraction and arched an eyebrow, and he felt a great thud of lust and love slam through him. ‘In my underwear, if you must know.’
He’d rather not. The images immediately flashing through his head were immensely distracting and did unsettling things to his equilibrium. Nevertheless, as much as he’d like to pull her into his arms, undo the belt and see exactly what she had on beneath, he kept his eyes up and his hands in his pockets. ‘You’ve had your hair cut.’
‘Yes.’
‘It suits you.’
‘I know,’ she said. ‘I’ve also bought a full-length mirror and am considering a move to Holland.’
The ground beneath his feet shifted. What the hell? ‘Holland?’
She nodded briefly. ‘Holland.’
‘Why?’
‘Why not?’
He knew of a dozen reasons why not. ‘I thought you didn’t travel much.’
She shrugged. ‘Things change,’ she said, and it hit him like a blow to the head that they had. She wasn’t sitting at home pining for him. She was getting her hair cut and buying mirrors. She was moving on. Without him. And it was his own damn fault. He yanked his hands out of his pockets and shoved them through his hair, his heart pounding with the very real fear that he’d blown it for good. ‘Don’t go.’
‘You don’t get to tell me what to do any more, Theo.’
‘I know I don’t.’
‘Then why are you here?’
‘There are so many reasons, I barely know where to start.’
She frowned. ‘Is there a problem with the deal?’
‘No.’
‘Then...?’
‘May I come in?’
‘No,’ she said, folding her arms across her chest and straightening her spine magnificently. ‘Whatever you have to say, you can say it out here.’
‘All right,’ he muttered, beginning to pace in an effort to untangle the jumbled thoughts in his head and calm the panic that he was too late, that he might have already lost her. ‘First of all, I wanted to tell you that you were right.’
‘About what?’
‘Every single point you made in the car. Deep down, I have been afraid of rejection and abandonment and it’s why I’ve always kept people at arm’s length. But the truth is I ache with loneliness. I want to be happy, Kate, and I want what you offered. You. Our child. The chance to be a family.’ He took a deep breath. ‘Because I love you.’