Homeless Heart

Chapter 6

Phin

One year later.

My twentieth birthday was fun, but it had nothing on my last birthday. The bar was doing well, so we got some new tables and stools, a dartboard, and some retro pinball machines. The hipsters loved the latest additions, and they continued to come in because they adored the iconic bar feel. People were talking more and more about its charm on YELP and Instagram. The regulars weren't happy about the changes or the addition of more people. Duke gave the regulars a deal on food, so they wouldn't stop coming in. We charged the hipsters slightly higher prices for cocktails, which is what the market would allow. For the first time, Duke had planned a New Year’s Eve celebration for the regulars, and everyone had said they'd come. Duke and I were happy. As Christmas was approaching, we'd made plans to have a few people over to his place. I'd been planning on making a fried turkey that I'd read about online.

Living on the streets was a distant memory, and so was the fear that my parents were trying to find me. I'd let down my guard, and that was probably my biggest mistake. Duke had even made some mumblings of leaving me the bar one day. Of course, I didn't pay attention to any of that; he was a young guy, late forties, there was no need even to consider it.

I'd stopped sleeping around after my run-in with Lana. My left hand and I had become well acquainted, and life was drama-free. I'd gotten rid of Lana about a year ago, occasionally she still came in and would try to get me to sleep with her. I always shot her down, but I had to appreciate her persistence.

One slow night in December, just after my birthday, Lana had come in and was sitting at the bar chatting with me. I talked with her even though we'd stopped sleeping together and I never really liked her. I was raised to be polite. She worked at an Internet company downtown near the bar. I couldn't talk about her job because I didn't understand it. Luckily, we had other things in common like movies and sports, so we had enough to keep the conversation going when she wanted to hang out. I assumed she was waiting for her friends like she had done many nights in the past. Duke had taken the night off; it was one of his dress shirt nights. I didn't ask, and he didn't share where he disappeared to on these nights. I knew men had needs, but I didn't want to think about Duke having sex.

Lana was on her third drink, and she kept me company as we both watched television. I enjoyed watching cooking shows when Duke wasn't working. Monday nights were usually pretty slow in this part of town, so I often took the opportunity to do inventory and deep clean behind the bar. A commercial came on for one of those crime shows where the husband is usually the one who did it. I never watched those types of shows; there was too much shit in the world to crowd your brain with that garbage. I knew firsthand people were capable of doing some pretty deep shit. This show had photos of a missing boy, probably thirteen or fourteen years old. The caption said, "Timmy went missing five years ago. Have you seen him?"

Lana laughed and looked at me with a devious expression that sent a shiver down my spine. She'd had too much to drink. "Phin, you know about missing children, don't you?"

I stood rooted to the ground, unable to speak, looking at the television, ignoring her.

"Did you know they are looking for you? There's a big reward to turn you in. I bet your parents would love to have you home for Christmas."

I stopped and gave her a look that would kill, but then covered it up with indifference. She was chewing on one of those red cocktail straws as she leaned back when the smirk on her face died.

"What did you say?"

"Phin, I know about you. I can use Google. You aren't doing a good job of hiding from them."

My heart started to race, and my mouth became the Sahara Desert. I leaned across the bar seething, my hands digging into the wood. Trying hard to hide my outrage. "You don't know what the fuck you are talking about."

She pulled out her phone and showed me the website my parents had created to find me. I'd never bothered to look up my parents; I did my best to stay off the web. I wanted to forget my life. I used the Internet on my phone from time to time to look up movie times, but that was about it. No email, no Facebook, no Twitter, none of that shit. Did she turn me in? FUCK! Guess my parents are paying for her new boobs.

I shifted my anger to fake concern, making my face neutral. "Lana, I am afraid you are drunk. You don't know what you are talking about; you should go home, sleep it off. Let me call you a cab."

She shook her head, and the smug look didn't leave her face. "Phin, I've known for a while about your little secret. I could make one phone call, and those people will be here in a second. I could make a whole load of money from that call, but I assume you don't want that, do you?"

I still couldn't let her know she was right; I needed time to come up with a plan.

"Right, I am calling you a cab."

She sat with her face resting on her hand, leaning on her elbow with that still smug smile. I've never wanted to hit a woman in my life, but right now, I wanted to smack her face.

"Sure, Phin, whatever you say. One call is all it would take. You might want to think about being nicer to me in the future. Merry Christmas!" Putting down forty bucks to cover her tab and a generous tip, she stumbled outside to the busy sidewalk. Right now, I didn't give a fuck how she got home. Her falling in front of a bus sounded like the best solution.

The bar was slow, so I closed early. Once I locked the doors, I dashed upstairs; I took out an olive-colored duffel bag that I'd found when I was cleaning up that must have belonged to Duke. I threw my clothes and my few possessions into the bag. I had to get out of town. Lana made it clear she'd call my parents, and I was only one year from getting my inheritance. This bitch wouldn’t ruin my life; I would have to hit the road again.

Looking at the room that had been my home, heaviness hit my heart. Leaving now would be more difficult than leaving my biological family. For the first time in my life, I had a real family and home here with Duke. All these emotions hit me straight in the chest and knocked the wind out of me. As much as I wanted to leave and avoid a tearful goodbye, I couldn't leave Duke like that. I owed him so much I couldn't sneak out like a thief in the night.

Lying down on my double bed for the last time, I tried to find sleep. Unfortunately, rest didn't come easy for me, and when it finally did, the dreams were terrible and left me restless.

Morning eventually came, and the sound of the backdoor slamming closed meant that Duke had arrived to open up. I dragged myself out of bed, heading to the shower for the last time and getting ready to go down and deliver the worst news to the man I loved as a father. I’d fucked up and let a random girl kill my chances of my happiness and having a family. I’d been so close to having a happy life, and now I’d have to leave my safe place in the world.

I headed downstairs; my feet felt heavy, like they were carrying anvils on the ends of my legs. Duke was in the office; he had his reading glasses balanced on the end of his nose. The big burly guy with his reading glasses always made me grin. Today I couldn't find it funny. As I stood in the doorway, the dim light barely lit up the computer screen or the paperwork that sat on his desk. The desk had only become organized after I arrived, setting up a filing system and throwing out years of old paperwork he no longer needed. The storeroom still smelled of cigarette smoke, probably from the old leather sofa that had accumulated all the smells of the last thirty years. Lord knew what had happened on that sofa; no one was ever allowed near it with a blue light.

He looked up over his glasses at me, and he knew immediately by my hangdog expression that things weren't right. Sitting back from the desk, he threw his glasses on the desktop.

"What's up, kid?"

I sat down on the DNA covered sofa, leaned back, closing my eyes for a second to rest my tired ass. When I opened my eyes, I looked at Duke and from his furrowed brow and his frown, he already knew this wasn't good news.

"Lana was in last night. She said she knows about my parents and will call them for the reward. I think she wants me to start fucking her again."

"Fuck!" Duke shouted and sprung out of the chair and walked around the desk and leaned on the front. "That fucking bitch! What are you going to do?"

I ran my hand through my hair. "I gotta go."

Duke shook his head. "No, no fucking way. Kid, we'll figure it out. I have friends who can make sure she stays quiet."

"No way, you've done too much. I am not having you end up in jail."

He smiled for a second; he knew what I thought of his friends and their power. "I wasn't talking about knocking her off. Just some aggressive mind changing."

"I've made up my mind; I am going back to the Bay Area. I've got under a year left; I can stay off the grid then the money's all mine. When I get my inheritance, I'll come back here; I'll help you out."

"You can't miss Christmas." I heard a catch in Duke's voice.

"I know," was all I could say. Duke shook his head, realizing he couldn't say anything else to change my mind. He knew me well enough to know that I was just as stubborn and proud as he was—one of the many things we have in common.

His shoulders slumped, accepting he'd lost the battle. "Kid, you better come back. You better stay in touch. None of this email shit, you gotta call me. You've got your phone; I'll pay your bill so you can stay in touch."

I shook my head, unable to speak.

"Don't fucking argue with me, Phin, it's done. You got me!"

His resolve was rock solid, and I knew better than to argue. "Sure, fine." Knowing that one day I could buy him that boat and that maxed-out Harley he dreamed about, made it easy to accept his kindness.

"Now have a BLT before you head out. When's your bus?"

"It's at noon, so we've got some time."

He walked out of the room toward the bar, and I went to the kitchen and made our last sandwiches with precision and love. I hoped it wasn't the last one ever but just for another year. We sat quietly eating the best BLTs at the bar and talked about my plans. Unfortunately, I didn't have a plan; all I knew was I had to stay under the radar. Duke told me about his buddies that lived up in the Bay Area; he said he'd give me their numbers and ask them to help me out. There was no way I'd get his friends involved in my family drama, but it was a generous offer. He'd done enough for me.

I cleaned the bathroom one last time and tidied up the kitchen before I headed out to the bus station. Duke wanted to give me a ride, but I told him I'd walk to avoid a public goodbye. When I came out of the kitchen, Duke handed me an envelope full of cash. I looked at it and guessed it must have been about five thousand dollars; I'd saved about the same amount too.

"No way, Duke, I've got that much in my bag, I can't live on the street with that much money, and I don't want to get a bank account. Keep it. If I get into trouble, I promise to call you."

He shook his head in defeat, and he knew I was right. "Fine, kid, but if I find out you are living on the streets again, I will come up there and kick your ass."

As I stood across from him, my bag sitting at my feet, his big arms pulled me into one of his infamous bear hugs. The hug was long, and I think I almost passed out from being unable to breathe. I never pulled away, he needed to understand in this hug what he'd meant to my life, and if for some reason I never saw him again he needed to feel how much I loved him.

Finally, he let me go. He patted my back hard, and I flew forward unprepared for his full force. "Kid, call me when you get up there. You know, I'll worry."

"I will. You going to hire someone?" I was afraid he'd let the bar slip again, and the business we'd built would go quickly into the toilet. "Don't fuck up what I've done. If that bathroom is dirty when I come back, I will kick your ass." We both laughed, knowing I was doing my best to lighten the mood that hung over us like clouds on a rainy day.

"Well, old man, I’ve got to head out. I'll probably get in late, so I'll call you tomorrow."

His eyebrow shot up; there was a look of skepticism. "Yeah, you fucking better or I will blow up that phone. I might even figure out how to text message."

He pulled me into a headlock and ruffled my hair. "Good luck, son. We'll see you soon. Merry Christmas."

I stood up straight and looked at him. Hearing him call me son put a boulder-sized lump in my throat. I needed to turn around and leave before I broke down and cried in this big man's arms.

"Bye, old man. See ya soon." I headed out of the dark bar that had been my home for nearly two years.

The only place I'd ever felt at home in my twenty years. Fuck!