Homeless Heart

Chapter 32

Lizzie

I’d promised Duke I wouldn’t go out in the storm, so I’d started calling all the shelters to look for Phin. We hadn't had a storm like this in a long time, and I'd missed them. Usually, I loved storms; they were the perfect excuse to stay in your comfy clothes and hideout. All I could do was sit and call the shelters looking for Phin. My days of hiding were over and the minute this tempest was over I was heading out to every shelter to find him.

The storm had been going on for sometime. I was so worried about Phin and how he'd survive this sort of storm. The thought of him cold and wet somewhere worsened the constant pain in my heart. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and I almost screamed, I was so engulfed in my solitude. I thought maybe it was the TV, and then the knock came again. Heaving myself off the sofa, I put down my wineglass and shuffled over to the door with the blanket over my shoulders, not caring what I looked like. If Hope finally decided to come over and surprise me, I’d have to suck it up and let her in.

"Hope, hold your horses. I'm coming." Bracing myself for Hope's ire and ready to give her a piece of my mind for visiting so late on a Saturday night. When I opened the door, I saw the shadow of someone on my doorstep, and I went quickly from anger to being scared. My whole body stiffened, unable to make out who it was at first, but then he moved forward, and I couldn't believe my eyes; it was like I'd been kicked in the chest.

"Phin," was all I could say before my throat closed and my chest felt like it would explode.

Phin was standing on my doorstep soaking wet and crying. A whispered, "Elizabeth" fell from his lips. He collapsed into my arms, soaking wet and shivering. He'd broken my heart, but right now, I couldn't even think about it. He would be getting a solid ass-whooping soon, but not now. I maneuvered him over to the sofa; I helped him to sit down and then held him for ages. In his wet clothes, he hung on to me like a drowning man clinging to a life preserver. I realized he was shaking, and I held him tighter, trying to quiet his sobs. My clothes were now soaked, and I was shaking too. I needed to get him out of these clothes, or we'd both get pneumonia, so I loosened the hug.

"Phin, you are so wet. We need to get you out of these clothes."

He nodded his head in agreement, still unable to speak, not even looking at me. I led him to the bathroom.

"Take a hot shower if you want, and you can wear this robe when you are done." I handed him a robe that I'd ordered for him online, but it showed up the day after he left. He was standing there looking at me, his eyes sad and withdrawn. He still hadn't said anything since he'd walked in. If he didn't get warm and dry, he would go into shock.

"Here, let me help you." I moved over to get him undressed, but he pulled away from me. I admired him while he slowly undressed, noticing he was thinner, and his clothes were dirty. He must hate being like this and it killed me to see it. I turned on the hot water and walked him toward the shower.

"Phin, clean up. I'll be out here." My body vibrated with adrenaline, and I needed to leave him to take care of himself before I unleashed my anger on him.

He took my hand. "Stay, Lizzie."

"No, get cleaned up." I gave him a weak smile and then sat on my bed, anxiously waiting for him to finish. My brain and heart were having a knock-down, drag-out fight to yell at him or jump his bones. I couldn't let my attraction for him, let him off the hook that easily. I could forgive him, but we had some shit to talk about before I even entertained that thought.

The water shut off, and he came out in the robe. He looked so sad, but I didn't touch him.

I made my way back toward the living room, sat down on the sofa, and waited for him to join me.

"Phin, why don't you lie down and put your head on my lap." He settled himself on the sofa covering himself with my favorite faux fur throw. I stroked his wet hair the way he liked it and did my best to soothe him. He lay there for about half an hour, still not speaking; his breathing and heart rate had slowed down. His eyes were hooded, and he looked to be sleeping. Watching him now made me happier than it should. I needed to remember to hold on to my anger at him. He had some explaining to do!

"Phin, you must be hungry. I will make you some food. I haven't been eating well myself. Burnt toast and wine isn't a proper diet." I was trying to connect with him by making him laugh. I got up slowly and moved his head back down on the pillow. Kneeling down on my knees next to his face, I leaned in and kissed his cheek. "Phin, you are home now."

He finally looked at me, like he was finally hearing me when I said it and moved in and kissed me lightly on the lips.

"Don't go!" He held my hand. His eyes were pleading with me. "I'm sorry."

Smiling at him, I brushed some of his wet hair away from his face. "I know. I'll wait until later to kick your ass and tell you how mad I am at you. Right now, I want you to eat. Now let me go cook for you."

"I'll make us something, Lizzie."

Phin tried to sit up, but I stopped him. "No, Phin, by the gods of Martha Stewart, I'll figure out a way to make you a decent bowl of pasta."

"Couldn't we just order pizza?"

"Too soon to joke, mister." Him making a joke was a good sign he was snapping out of his shock. "All I’ve been eating recently is pizza. I can make pasta; trust me."

Trust, that was something we would have to work on. I covered him up, watching his eyes close before going into the kitchen to make him dinner. Fortunately for him, I had some pasta and marinara sauce. This stuff was one of the last bits of food left in my cabinets since he'd left. I put the water on to boil and heated the sauce. Easy, right? Surprisingly, dinner came together in about thirty minutes, while Phin slept. I regretted having to wake him up, but we both needed to eat.

"All right there, chief, you have to sit up to eat. Here's a big bowl of pasta." I sat it down on the coffee table. I physically had to pull him up, which wasn't easy considering his size.

"How is it?"

"Hot, but good." A faint smile moved his lips. I felt some of the tension leave my body as he continued to speak—the sound of his voice sunk into the wounds he'd caused when he left. His cold hand moved to my thigh, and despite the chill, I enjoyed feeling that connection again.

He shoveled more into his mouth. Some sauce dripped down and I couldn’t resist kissing it off his face. I saw the pink color gradually come back into his cheeks while he continued plowing into the large bowl until he almost finished it. The fact he ate something I fixed meant he was starving. "I think you've had enough. You need to leave some for me."

In the sweetest gesture, he fed me the rest of the bowl. When it was empty, he put it on the floor and hugged me hard.

Eventually, I pulled back to check his color, which was finally close to his healthy complexion. His hands were cold, but as he stroked my thighs, they began to warm up. The smile that emerged on his face was the one I loved, but the dimple had not appeared yet. There was also a slight twinkle back in his green eyes, which was a start.

"Lizzie, whose robe is this?"

My anger sparked to life. "That's the first thing you are going to ask me?"

He smiled and dipped his head down to kiss me before I had a chance to stop him. This kiss started tender and gentle, but it quickly escalated into desperation. His hands were moving up to my hips, where his fingers dug into me.

I broke the kiss, trying to hold off the anger that was bubbling under the surface now.

"Listen here, Phineas Dunbar, I am so glad you're here, but you can't come waltzing back in here before we talk about you leaving. Do you hear me? Even if I have to tie you to my bed and hold you hostage, I'll do it. Don't laugh; I am serious. I'll do it. I am pissed at you."

He gave me a faint smile, and that damn dimple came out, which made me even angrier.

"I ordered this robe for you, but you left before I could give it to you." I poked my finger at his chest.

"Thank you, Lizzie, I like it." As he fingered the lapel of the robe.

"Phin, you broke my heart. Seriously, you have to talk to me. I need to move off your lap, so we can both think clearly. I am not letting you off the hook this easily." I did my best to gain some composure. "Do you want something to drink?"

"Can I have a beer? Please." His smile dimmed, and as he looked me in the eye, he knew I meant business. He watched me intently as I got up to get the beer.

"Lizzie, you look like you've lost weight. Have you not been eating?"

I got his drink from the refrigerator and headed back toward the sofa. Unsure how to answer his question without making him feel like shit about why I hadn't been eating. I decided we needed to be honest with each other. I stood in front of him, a beer in one hand and the other one on my hip.

"Yes, Phin, I've lost weight. I haven't been eating. I've been pretty upset. You haven't been around to cook for me."

Watching his eyes darken and his expression become even more concerned made me uncomfortable. I decided it was time to address the elephant in the room.

"What happened, Phin? You have to tell me everything or I can't be responsible for what I might do to you. I want to know now! Oh, and if you think I'm pissed wait until you talk to Duke!" My body was trembling, I was doing my best to hold it together, but my lips began to quiver.

"You talked to Duke?"

"Yes, I did, and you have to call him. You should be prepared for a big ass chewing," I did my best to stifle a smile.

"I know, I deserve it."

"You've got to trust me, Phin."

He looked at me, and he had tears in his eyes that mirrored my own. "The first time I remember my dad beating me, I was five years old . . ."