Fuck.
Surely.
Surely, I heard her wrong.
But when I glance across the table at my brothers, hoping for some kind of answer, Jude is laughing from his gut and Jayden is crying with tears of laughter. But that’s not all. No, Baylor’s eyes are wide and panicked, and Coach’s mouth is still gaping open. Fuck, I have a feeling I heard her just fine. Which explains why my heart is jackhammering against my ribs, I can’t breathe, and I’m two seconds from a panic attack.
“Why is this a big deal?” my mom asks. “Why is everyone laughing? River, honey, what’s wrong?”
“It’s not—” Avery tries, but Coach’s voice goes over hers.
“Her dad is the commissioner of the NHL. Autumn, he runs…shit, everything!”
“Oh wow,” my mom says. “How awesome for you.”
“Hardly,” I hear Avery whisper, but I’m still unable to move.
Trying to process this, I close my eyes, hoping that when I wake up, this will all be a dream. It has to be.
“Jeez, Jace, you really know how to go big or go home, huh?” Jayden laughs, shaking his head as I look up to glare at him.
Not a dream. Shit.
“And I thought I was hot shit going after the first female in male college hockey. Ha! You topped me.”
“Shut up, Jayden,” Baylor spits, worry still in the depths of her wide hazel eyes. “But, really? Hockey royalty?”
“It’s not a big deal,” Avery says from beside me, but I can’t even.
“Ha! Yeah, it is,” Jude barks before looking back at me. “You know how to pick them, bro. No wonder you’re so confident you’ll go first! You have the fucking commissioner in your back pocket,” Jude wheezes, but then he pauses. “I don’t mean that disrespectfully to you, Avery. I’m just busting Jace’s chops.”
I lean on my hand, my heart still jackhammering. I feel Avery looking at me, but I’m still trying to believe this is happening. The commissioner? Really?
“He didn’t know,” Avery says then, which stops the laughter. I feel her shift uncomfortably in her chair, and all eyes fall on me. “It isn’t a big deal to me the way it is to you guys, so I don’t talk about it. I’m not close with my family.”
Silence falls over the table, and she is still fidgeting anxiously in her chair. I know I should say something, reassure her it’s okay, but it’s not. How could she not tell me something like this? Doesn’t she realize that is important information to give your hockey-playing boyfriend, whose dreams are to be in the NHL? I would never use her to get ahead, but shit, I would still want to know stuff like that.
“You’re right,” I hear Lucy say, but it’s very muffled since my heartbeat is hurting my eardrums. “And you shouldn’t have to.”
Um. Maybe not here, but to me, yeah, she should!
The table goes quiet again and I don’t look up. I can’t. My heart is in my throat and my blood is boiling. She hid this from me. Just like the cutting. Fuck.
“You know, I didn’t know Haverbrooke had a daughter,” Coach says and my heart sinks. “I’ve known him for years.”
Avery doesn’t say anything as Jude continues, “And Seth never talks about a sister. His brothers, yeah, but…”
When he trails off, I know they finally realize why this is a sore subject for her. She must look stricken, like she always does when her family is brought up or when they contact her. While I’m always elated to hear from my family, Avery never is. Her lips turn down, her eyes go sad, while her cheeks redden in embarrassment from the fact they’re dicks and don’t treat her like she should be treated.
Like the fucking princess she is.
“Sorry, it was just surprising,” Jude says then, and I nod.
“You can say that again.” When I look up, everyone’s eyes are on me. I can only look back down, feeling like an idiot. How can I be dating a girl—hell, be in love with that girl—and not know this kind of stuff? I look like a dumbass in front of my family. How could she let that happen? After how we talked about her opening up, being honest with me. It’s like she’s been lying to me. But, why? Why would she do that?
When I feel her lips by my ear, my body tenses up and I hate that. Really? I’m not mad? Damn it. “Are you mad?”
“Later,” I say firmly, my eyes across the table on my brothers. Jude’s eyes widen and Jayden shakes his head, but neither Avery nor I move. I feel her heartbeat against my arm, and I know she wants to ask more. Instead, she slowly backs away, her eyes burning into the side of my face.