He shakes his head. “No, Sinclair is a good guy. I agree that you need him in your life.”
“I thought no one was good enough for me?”
“No one is, but he wants to be. I can see it in his eyes.”
Those damn eyes, they are the story of his soul. His beautiful, amazing soul.
He adds, “But I am going to say that we really do need to rethink this whole NHL thing because of what happened today.”
But I come off the wall, shaking my head. “No way, Dad. That is in no way, shape, or form gonna hold me back. If anything, it’s going to push me to make it. McCarthy was a dick, and he was out to get me from the beginning.”
“He tried to rape you,” he reminds me, but I shake my head.
“But he didn’t. I fought him off, and I would have gotten away even if Jayden hadn’t walked in. I can take care of myself, and I know it won’t happen again, Dad.”
“You can’t guarantee that.”
“Okay, no, I can’t, but it’s time for me to fight for what I want. And I want to be happy. Jayden and hockey do that.”
“But there are other options,” he stresses, but I shake my head.
“I’m gonna be in the NHL. With Jayden. And we are going to be together. Not a damn thing will stop that.”
“Baylor, you’re doing that stubborn thing again,” he reminds me. “I’m only looking out for you because I love you.”
“I love you, Dad, but I have to do what I want, and I want these things. They can break me, hurt me, or betray me, but at least I tried. At least I did everything I could for the things I love.”
Looking away, he scoffs. “There is no talking you out of anything when you get your mind set on something, no matter what tries to bring you down,” he says as he stands, looking over me. “You’ve always been like that.”
He’s right. I have always been like that. When I want something, I go for it. I fight tooth and nail. The McCarthy thing happened, yeah, and it sucks. But I fought. He wasn’t going to get me. No matter what, I would have found a way out. But the thing is, I let it go. It happened, it sucked, but it doesn’t define me. I know it won’t happen again because I learned from it. Things happen in life for a reason, and do I really feel something like this will happen again? No, because if I did, I would agree with my father to not try to go into the NHL, but I don’t. My future isn’t in black and white, or even there for me to control, but I don’t care anymore.
Because I know that Jayden will be there with me. Ready to fight alongside me. And that’s all I need. Yeah, it’s taken a long time for me to admit it, maybe even realize it, but I know it’s true.
Now I just need to tell him that.
Baylor: I really need to talk to you.
Baylor: I’m really sorry.
Baylor: Please, answer me.
Baylor: I don’t know what to do here. I’m freaking out without you.
Bay
lor: Do you even want me to come today?
Baylor: I want to come but only if you want me there.
Baylor: Please answer me.
“Dude, why don’t you just answer the phone or text her back?”
Looking over at Jude from my phone, I shake my head as I drop it to put my cuff links on. My phone has been going off all day, hell, for the last two days, but I can’t face the situation yet. I’m still so hurt by what she did. Why couldn’t she just admit it? Why couldn’t she just say she loves me? Yeah, I can understand the whole lying to her dad—even though that did bother me. But when she looked me in my eyes, why didn’t she say it? It makes no fucking sense to me, and until it does, or until I don’t hurt anymore, I can’t talk to her.
Because I know I’ll give in and let her basically use me, I guess.
But even that doesn’t seem right. Yeah, she won’t admit it, but I know she loves me.