Just One Look (Castleton Hearts)

“I’m sorry,” I said, even though I wasn’t sure what I was apologizing for.

Theo just got in her truck and slammed the door. A moment later, the engine roared to life. Theo refused to look at me as she backed out and then sped away.

Why did this keep happening?

My cottage was way too quiet after Theo left. I’d never felt the crushing weight of my own loneliness this acutely in a long, long time. Still, she’d given me a lot to think about when it came to potential careers, so I got out my dream board and sat with it for a few minutes before opening my laptop and searching for careers related to books.

It was easy to cross off a few things, like being an author or literary agent, or starting a publishing company. Even though I loved volunteering at the library, I didn’t have the passion or desire to be a librarian. The years of schooling that would require before even thinking about finding a job were just not for me. Being some kind of book publicity person, or designer also wasn’t on my list.

A bookstore though… that was something. I already knew how to manage a business from my years managing the fitness studio and other jobs. I liked organizing people and being in charge of a space and serving customers. Plus, I loved books.

A few years ago, I never would have considered something like that, but now I had money from Memma and all this time on my hands.

What did it even take to open a bookstore? I went to the internet to find out and got a number of different articles. Many of them were so discouraging that I quickly stopped reading. Inspired by my job shadowing experiences, I searched for local bookstores. There wasn’t one in Castleton, nearby Hartford or Arrowbridge, so I found the next closest independent bookstore and looked up their contact information.

I sent what I hoped was a friendly email through their contact page, asking if I could come and see what it took to open a bookstore. Before I threw myself completely into this endeavor, I wanted to talk face-to-face to someone who had done it in a small town in Maine.

Until I did that, I wasn’t going to breathe a word about this new ambition to anyone, not even Mom. I wanted to be able to go to her with a solid plan of how I was going to make it happen.

Satisfied with this new path, I opened a book and attempted to get lost in a romance, but all I could think about was Theo.

That was twice now that we’d had a fine interaction that had ended in disaster. Was I doing something wrong?

I wished Theo wasn’t so closed off. If we could have an honest conversation, I think that would help, but that didn’t seem very likely. I’d just have to keep showing up and trying to be her friend until she cracked, or I did.

Chapter Nine

Two days later, I heard from the manager of the little bookstore, Book in the Wall, Sarah. She was totally sweet in her message and said I could come by anytime that week and ask for her at the store if she wasn’t behind the front desk and she’d show me around and give me the nitty gritty.

Her message was so positive it made me feel better about the whole thing. Maybe it was possible, this dream. Even though I was telling myself to be realistic, I couldn’t stop imagining what it might be like. To have a sweet bookstore and help customers find the perfect book for them. To see a child discover a love of reading because I suggested the right book that unlocked something inside them.

My mom had always read to me, but Memma was the one who really taught me to love books. Her collection of books had been extensive, from non-fiction to dozens of romances that I’d perused on rainy days when I had sleepovers at her house. Whenever I’d had a bad day at school, or had a fight with a friend, Memma was there with a hug and cup of hot chocolate and a book to soothe my tears.

I wanted to tell Theo about how she’d helped me, but I was also scared. What if she laughed at me? What if she told me it was a bad idea?

She’d also left my house angry, so I was waiting for her to reach out to me. If she wanted me to be her friend, she could make an effort.

I was officially a trained volunteer at the library with a name badge and everything. The bonus was that I could try out my bookselling skills on library patrons to see if I had any skills at finding the right book for someone who wasn’t sure what they wanted.