She reached across the table and picked up the paper umbrella, closing it carefully, smoothing the thin paper folds.
‘I played it wrong. I should have tried harder. Asked more questions. Told him more about Mum. I should have done something. Asked you and Saru to keep him here locked up. Instead I let him leave.’
‘It wasn’t your fault.’
‘Easy for you to say. I’m the one who stuffed it up.’
‘You didn’t stuff it up. Leaving is what Zeb does.’
No one knew that better than Adam, and he needed Olivia to believe that. To stop blaming herself.
‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean Zeb called it right. Mastersons aren’t good at being tied down. There is nothing you can say or do to change that.’
‘He looked after you,’ Olivia said softly.
‘Reluctantly.’ The dark twist of knowledge wrenched his insides. ‘He looked into every other avenue first and he cut me loose at the first opportunity.’
‘I don’t understand.’
Adam ran a hand down his face and round the back of his neck; memory’s bitter taste coated his very soul. A memory he’d never shared with anyone.
But here and now he could not let Olivia think that if she’d done something differently Zeb would have made a different decision. He’d hoped for her sake that Zeb would. Hell, he’d hoped it for his own sake. Wished that having Adam in his life, being a parent, had affected Zeb in some way. Clearly not. And Adam could see now what a foolish mirage that had been.
‘It was my sixteenth birthday and we were celebrating.’ Adam had been stupidly pleased; it had been the first time Zeb had marked his birthday in any way. ‘Turned out we weren’t celebrating my birthday.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘It was my send-off party.’ He could feel the weight of Zeb’s hand on his shoulder, hear his voice echo down the twelve years.
‘You’re old enough to fend for yourself.’
‘I don’t get it, Zeb. What does that mean?’
Zeb raised his champagne glass. ‘Son, I’ll be honest with you. Having a kid around is kind of cramping my style. I’ve done my duty by you and now it’s time to cut you loose.’ A hearty slap on the back. ‘But no worries. We’ll keep in touch.’
Then, ‘Ciao!’ and he’d upped and gone.
‘But... That’s awful,’ Olivia whispered after Adam had given her a shortened version of their exchange.
‘Zeb never wanted to be a father. But he did step up to bat when there was no other choice. I guess to him it seemed the right thing to do. He put in an eight-year sentence and figured he’d paid his debt to parenthood.’
‘That sucks. It really sucks, Adam.’ She shook her head. ‘You should have told me.’
‘Not fair. Zeb’s relationship with me shouldn’t have prejudiced you. Maybe if I’d been a different type of son things would have been different. It could have been he’d changed his opinion on parenthood over the past fourteen years.’
Foolish thoughts, really; Mastersons didn’t change their spots.
Olivia stared down at the table and then whipped her head up, nostrils flaring. ‘Then the baby is better off without him.’ She swept a sideways glance at him. ‘And so are you. Kudos to you. Zeb cut you loose and you forged a great life for yourself.’
Typical Olivia. Even in her own hurt she could find time to try and make him feel better. The least he could do was reciprocate in kind, with the truth. ‘So will this baby. He or she will have you and that will make all the difference.’
She shook her head. ‘No. It’s Jodie who’ll do that. I’ll just do my best to help. Now I know the score, I need to get home and tell her.’
‘You can fly back in the jet. Tell me when you want to go. I’ll let the pilot know.’
‘What about you?’ Olivia asked.
‘I’m going to stay in Thailand. Move around. Research some hotel options—maybe design a more “homey” type of hotel. With alphabetical spices.’ The smile he could always summon at will just this once refused to comply. ‘But I can ferry you across to the mainland today, if you’re in a hurry to get back.’
* * *
Olivia’s heart plummeted; it seemed more than clear that Adam was dead set on getting rid of her, pronto.
Perhaps she should go. After all, didn’t Adam keep saying that he was a chip off the old block? And she’d just seen the old block in action. No. Adam wasn’t like that. This she knew with a bone-deep certainty.
Pulling her shoulders back, she stood up to face him. ‘That’s really kind of you. But before you do that I’d like to talk. We haven’t had a chance since last night, and...and so much has happened in the last twelve hours and...and... We need to talk.’