Colour angled over his cheekbones, though she wasn’t sure if it was a flush of embarrassment or sheer irritation at her presumptuousness. Maybe conveyor belt women didn’t require conversation. Well, tough.
‘Of course,’ he said. ‘Why don’t we sit out on the beach for a while?’
‘Good idea.’ Somehow it seemed preferable to have this discussion in the open air, with only the sea and sand as witness.
She blinked as they exited the bar; the dazzling sparkle of light hazed the sand golden, the soft grains scrunching under her toes. Adam maintained a distance, his hands jammed in his chino pockets, his withdrawal from her complete.
Hard to reconcile this grim man with her Adam, who had transported her to such heights of ecstasy.
They reached the edge of the sand and Olivia kept going into the waves, let the sun-warmed turquoise water wash over her toes. She stared out at the timeless horizon of blue, its brightness so intense, so still, it almost overwhelmed her. The blue of the cloudless sky was undisturbed by the swoop of even a solitary bird.
No courage to be found there; that would have to be dredged from somewhere within her, nurtured by the memory of what she and Adam had shared these past days. Their shared laughter and relaxed silences, their animated conversations about everything and nothing. The mind-blowing, incredible union of their bodies.
Turning, she moved towards him. He sat, long legs stretched out, palms down in the sand to brace his weight.
She sank down next to him, the heat of the sand permeating the white denim of her jeans, and pulled her knees up, hugging them to her.
‘I—’ She broke off. Where to begin? Maybe best to cut to the chase. Roll the dice...show her hand. ‘I want to change the rules.’
His head snapped round with neck-cricking speed. ‘Excuse me?’
‘I’d like us to see each other again. Not as fling partners but as...’
‘As what?’ His voice was hoarse; the words rasped from his throat.
Olivia dug her fingers into the sand. ‘As two people who want to spend time together and see what happens.’
A derisive snort indicated his opinion. ‘I can tell you what would happen.’
‘What? Suddenly you’re the Delphi Oracle? You can’t know what would happen.’
‘Yes, I can. Someone would get hurt. Olivia.’
Not Liv any more—and, wow, that did hurt.
‘It doesn’t have to be like that.’ Shifting in the sand, she wanted to reach out, but couldn’t. She was too sure that he would flinch, and that would suck away the last bit of her courage. ‘You’ve made me see that. A relationship doesn’t have to be a power game. It can be a partnership, a give and take.’
His whole body stiffened, tension visibly rippling across his shoulderblades. ‘You’re mixing up a relationship with sex. We had crazy hot sex. That doesn’t make a relationship.’
‘We had more than that, Adam, and you know it.’
‘In which case all the better to end it here and now.’ Rooting in the sand, he pulled out a smooth, round stone and with a deft, angry flick of his wrist sent it cresting across the waves.
Olivia watched the pebble hop, skip, and jump before sinking into the watery depths. Indicative of where this conversation was going.
‘Why?’ she asked. ‘Why won’t you give us a chance to become something more? At least tell me that. Did I read it wrong?’
He twisted his torso and made a guttural sound, reminiscent of pain. ‘You did nothing wrong, Olivia. It’s me. I’m not relationship material. You just met Zeb—surely that gave you a clue?’
‘You are not like Zeb,’ If only she could get that through his thick, stubborn skull.
‘I’m a carbon bloody copy.’
‘That’s not true. It doesn’t even make sense. You’re you. You make your own choices.’
‘I do. And I choose to not hurt anyone else.’
He must be talking about his ex-wife. ‘Did you hurt Charlotte?’
‘Yes.’ He uttered the syllable with a savage twist of self-derision. ‘I married her and then two years later I left her.’
‘Relationships break down. It happens.’
‘Our marriage didn’t break down, Olivia. I destroyed it. I promised Charlotte everything. A white picket fence, a family—the whole deal. When push came to shove I couldn’t make good. It’s the only deal I ever reneged on in my life.’
His large body was still rigid with a tautness she longed to soothe. The knowledge that he would reject her touch caused her to bury her hands in the warmth of the sand.