He rests his elbows on either side of my head and lifts his upper half off me as he starts to move faster. Soon the pain fades, and it’s replaced with pleasure. That’s the exact moment I become aware of every sensation.
The feel of being skin on skin with this man is incredible. Feeling him move inside of me is incomparable. Jaxson is my first.
I see wonder and sincerity in his eyes when he whispers so quietly, I would’ve missed the words if I weren’t looking at him.
“Don’t hate me forever, Doc. Meet me in another life so I can love you without you hating me.”
We find our rhythm and move together as our bodies grow slick with sweat. When I feel a tightening in my abdomen, I whimper with frustration. Jaxson quickens his pace, plunging deeper and deeper inside of me.
“Let go, Doc,” he grinds out.
Pulling out until only the head of his cock remains inside of me, he slams back in, rocking my body with the force. The tightening I felt a second ago unravels into a burst of light and sensations I never knew existed.
His mouth slams into mine as if he’s trying to devour the pleasure pulsing through my body. His body tightens over me and he shudders as he finds his own release.
When he stills against me, he doesn’t pull away but continues to kiss me tenderly. He brings his hands to the sides of my head and lowers his body against mine until I’m caged in by him.
This kiss feels different. It feels like a promise as if he’s confessing to caring for me.
When he pulls away, and our eyes meet, I realize the kiss was a goodbye.
Chapter 5
JAXSON
I meant it when I asked her not to hate me forever. I hope she’ll be able to forgive me one day. Fuck, I wish we had met under different circumstances.
I close my eyes as I pull out of her, hating that I can’t stay buried inside of her.
As I push myself up, I mourn the loss of feeling her skin against mine. When I leave her lying on the bed, it feels as if I’m ripping my breaking heart right from my chest and leaving it in her hands.
I dispose of the condom. Grabbing a washcloth, I hold it under warm water.
Leigh sits up as I walk back into the room. I press a kiss to the top of her head as I gently clean between her legs. Throwing the washcloth on the floor, I sit down on the bed. I pull her onto my lap and wrap my arms around her.
I close my eyes and say a silent prayer that I’ll be strong enough to let her go. She’s not mine to keep.
Breathe, Jax. Breathe past the pain. You have to do this for her. She deserves better than you. You have nothing to offer an incredible person like her.
I place a finger under her chin and lift her face until our eyes meet. I try to memorize the exact shade of her irises. I try to imprint the feel of her soft skin beneath my fingers.
I press my mouth against hers and taking a deep breath, I savor the taste of her. I fill my lungs with her scent.
And I let go.
We stand up, and a deafening silence fills the room as we get dressed. I take her hand and intertwine our fingers as I grab my car keys.
The drive back to the apartment is thick with loss.
The loss of her mother.
The loss of opportunities.
The loss of a future that might have been.
The loss of us.
When I park the car in front of the building, I whisper, “Wait here.”