I get out and walk around the car and open the door for her. I know it’s a little too late to be a gentleman, but I need to show her that she’s worth this kind of treatment, and not the way I’ve been treating her.
Anguish shadows her face as she gets out of the car. I take hold of her hand again and walk her to her front door.
I hear laughter coming from inside, and it makes me feel relief that she won’t be alone. Fuck, I wouldn’t have been able to leave her.
I pull her into a hug, hating that it’s the last time I’ll get to hold her waiflike body in my arms.
She wraps her arms around my waist, and her fingers dig into me.
“I hate you, Jaxson,” she whimpers.
I can’t keep the emotions locked down anymore. Tears spill over my cheeks and I let them fall.
I suck in a ragged breath of air as I pull my body free from her arms. Pressing one last kiss to her forehead, it physically hurts to turn away from her. My chest aches as I fight to keep my breaking heart from being sucked into a vortex of despair.
“I hate you for making love to me,” she says behind me.
Fuck. Fuck, I’m not strong enough.
The tears come faster as I rush down the stairs. When I get into the car, I slam a fist against the steering wheel, and let a shout rip from my chest.
She’ll never know she was my first kiss.
She’s the first woman I’ve made love to.
888
LEIGH
After Jaxson leaves, a weird numbness settles into my bones, making my body feel heavy. I drag my feet and sluggishly open the front door.
“Hey, where have you been? I’ve tried calling you,” Willow says.
I try to blink the daze away so I can focus on her face.
“Leigh?” Concern clouds her face as she rushes to me.
“I have to pack. My dad’s coming tomorrow.”
That’s right. Focus on the facts.
“Dad’s coming tomorrow,” I repeat.
Jaxson made me feel.
“I’m going home.”
Never again will I see the warmth in his eyes.
I won’t get to feel his touch as it eases away the pain.
I won’t get to love him. I don’t get to hate him.
Instead, I’m stuck in limbo where nothing makes sense.
I must’ve zoned out because when I come too, I’m sitting on the couch and Willow is pressing a bottle of water to my lips.
Tears swim in her eyes as she watches me take a few sips.