He can penetrate my insides with his cock, but I draw the line at his eyes. I don’t want him under my skin, seeing the darkest, deepest parts of me.
Why the hell is Jude looking at me like that?
I shift uncomfortably as he drapes an arm over my lower half possessively so I can’t easily escape.
“Viola,” he says.
I ignore him.
“Viola, look at me.”
I flick my eyes up and then shoot him a glance, shuttering my features. “There. I’m looking at you.”
His lips curl up in a twisted smile. “I’m so fucking happy to see you…you have no idea.”
I scowl at him. “I thought you were the one who didn’t have feelings.”
“Who the fuck said that? I’m a moody bastard, or haven’t you realized? Now, tell me—why are you in here? How did you even get in here? I’m over the fucking moon you are, but this is the last place I wanted you to end up.”
That’s right, Jude has no idea what’s been happening on the outside. I give him the condensed version of the events. He was informed right up until the boys decided to attend my father’s party at his estate. As I enlighten him, he watches me intently the whole time, not even flinching when I tell him what Kristian did to me and then what I did to Dino. He only frowns when I get to the part about turning myself in. But his brow smoothes over when I reveal that I’m here under a false name.
“Okay, I get all that, but why the fuck are you here?”
I frown at him. “You disappeared. I had to come and find you.”
He shakes his head. “Nah, you don’t get to do that. This isn’t my fucking fault.”
I turn toward him, eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”
“You didn’t come in here to find me.”
I shift his arm off me so I can sit up. I’m tired of lying down. The world spins as I right myself, glaring at him. “That’s exactly why I did it.”
Jude shifts, too, leaning back to sit against the headboard. “You’re deluding yourself, babe. Admit it. You let them cage you because of what happened to Sinner. It’s eating you up inside, and this is the only way to ease some of the pain. You want someone to take away your choices and make it easy on you for once. No lies, no games. Just surviving.”
There’s a flash of something behind his eyes that I can’t decipher.
“That’s not what this is.”
He shrugs. “Fine, keep telling yourself that. Tell Lorcan and the rest so that they don’t start to worry. But you and I both know that’s bullshit.”
I give him a look. “It’s you, isn’t it?”
“What is?”
I cock my head at him. “You’re talking about yourself.”
He snorts and looks away but doesn’t correct me.
“Is that why you missed your transfer window with Jordan?”
His hazel eyes, darker now, cut back to me. “They’ve got my cousin drugged up to the eyeballs. I’ve been interfering with his meds, trying to wean him off that shit.” He lifts his shoulders into a shrug. “It’s taking longer than I expected because even without the drugs, he’s a mess.”
I nod my head. Keep someone in one of these places long enough, and the drugs alone will erode whatever is left of a person. I should know—it happened to my mother.
“So, what’s the plan?” When he winces, flatting his lips in a smile that doesn’t reach the eyes. He reaches up to run a hand through his hair. I don’t miss the slight tremor to his hand as he does. I close my own eyes and open them.
From what I know, Jude is an addict. This place must be like a candy store to him.