8
With Brandy driving and Lia in the back, I sat in the passenger seat, staring out the window. I’d made this exact same drive from Austin to Mayford with my father the day before Cheryl was killed.
Until that day, I didn’t think my sister and I would ever reconcile. Our falling out started in high school when she’d been resentful of my relationship with Salvador.
In all fairness, Sal and I had been thatsickeningcouple who walked down the hall with our hands in each other’s back pockets. We’d made out on the couch when my father was working in the garage on some project or another. And we’d confided in each other about everything, spending hours and hours talking on the phone each night.
Looking back now, I realize I should’ve been more sensitive to Cheryl’s feelings. She’d always been the more emotional twin and had dealt with a serious eating disorder during our senior year. It wasn’t until she passed out that I realized how thin she’d become. While she was in the hospital, I visited her, but everything I said just seemed to upset her.
Then I announced my plan to marry Sal and move to Washington. Our plan was to help his grandmother with her Mexican food restaurant in Edmonds, Washington, where she had relatives. Cheryl took my leaving personally and wouldn’t speak to me for weeks.
Trying to make amends, I asked her to be my maid of honor even though we were just getting married at the courthouse. At first, she seemed pleased, and I thought everything was going to be okay between us. Then, on the day of the wedding, she never showed up.
Afraid she’d had an accident or something, I postponed the wedding and rushed home. When I found Cheryl on the couch, watching TV, I couldn’t believe it. How could she be so insensitive on my wedding day? The two of us had fought verbally, exchanging words I later regretted.
My eyes bloodshot from crying, I’d married Salvador later that afternoon and left for Washington State the very next day. Several years passed with very little communication between my sister and me. While I was heartbroken, I was also extremely busy working at the restaurant and building a life with Salvador.
When I learned from my father that Cheryl had gotten married and given birth to a little girl, I was determined to make things right. So with the help of Salvador’s grandmother, I knitted a baby blanket. Making the blanket took hours, and the soft, organic yarn cost me a fortune, but I was determined to give Cheryl something that would show I still cared about her.
“She’s going to love it,” Abuela reassured me.
“I hope so.”
Optimistic that Cheryl and I could find a way forward, I’d included a little note, congratulating her on the marriage and the baby. Not wanting to make this about me, I didn’t tell her that Salvador and I were also trying to have a baby. I didn’t tell her that, more than anything, we wanted a family but that I worried it wasn’t going to happen for us.
Two weeks later, I returned to the house to discover a package in the mailbox. At first, I was elated. Had Cheryl sent me a peace offering as well?
As I looked closer, however, my heart sank. It was the blanket I’d sent to Cheryl. Had I not included enough postage? No, she’d received it. She hadn’t opened it, but she’d definitely received it because with a thick black marker she’d crossed out her address and wrote Return to Sender.
Cheryl’s rejection of my gift gutted me. How could she do something like that? And how in the world could I ever forgive her for being so ruthless? If only I’d known her life would be cut short. If only—
“Aunt Ruthie? Are you okay?” Brandy’s question brought me back to the present. “Do you want to stop and get something to eat or drink? Or maybe just walk around and stretch your legs?”
I smiled, appreciating her attentiveness. “Thank you, honey, but I’m fine.”
“All right.” Brandy glanced in the rearview mirror at Lia. “How’s preggers doing? Are you staying hydrated?”
Lia lifted the giant Texas Longhorns water bottle she bought at the hotel’s gift shop. “I’m drinking so much water that I’m about to burst. Can we please stop so I can use the bathroom?”
Brandy shook her head with mock seriousness. “Absolutely not. You can hold it until we get there.”
“Brandy.” Lia tossed a gum wrapper at her cousin.
“Hey, don’t mess with the driver.” Giggling, Brandy tossed the gum wrapper back to Lia.
Then they both laughed, reminding me of when they were little. They’d always been such good friends, and I was grateful for that. Honestly, I didn’t know how I would’ve survived motherhood without Brandy leading the way, showing me what I needed to do as a guardian for her and a mother for Lia.
After stopping at a supersized gas station called Buc-ee’s, a new Texas landmark, we continued our drive. Brandy and I chatted about her boys and husband, while Lia stared out the window in silence. When I tried to engage her in the conversation, she didn’t seem interested.
Something was obviously going on with her. Something beyond her unplanned pregnancy. I yearned to have a close relationship with Lia like I had with Brandy, but things had always been more of a struggle between us.
Lately, my worry for Lia had increased. Although my daughter was a capable, intelligent woman, she was about to become a single mom, something that wasn’t going to be easy. Plus, she refused to talk about her baby’s father. Had she been violated? Had it been a one-night stand? I honestly had no idea, and it killed me not being able to help her.
As we exited the highway for Mayford, my apprehension about the meeting and everything else expanded. Being back in my hometown where I’d lost my sister brought up so many memories. I didn’t want to be here, yet how else was I going to keep Eddie in prison where he belonged?
“Here we are.” Brandy pulled into a parking lot of the address I’d given her. After finding a parking spot, she turned off the engine.
Suddenly I panicked. “You know what. I’ve changed my mind.”