33
Brandy
Edmonds, Washington – 2018
As I staredup at the ceiling, wide awake in the middle of the night, I listened to the sound of my husband sleeping beside me. Troy had been so helpful and supportive with my father—making phone calls, talking to Dottie, and reassuring me that everything was going to be okay.
And yet we were still waiting for my father’s actual release, something that frustrated me beyond belief. While the DA’s office was willing to re-examine old cases such as my father’s, an extensive protocol still needed to be followed.
My mind wandered to the shoebox I kept at the back of my closet. Recently, I’d read through the letters my father had sent me before my tenth birthday. I’d forgotten how funny and optimistic he’d been. Before learning why he’d been imprisoned, I’d looked forward to each letter. Afterward, however, I refused to open his mail. Instead, I’d thrown it away, unopened. Well, I’d thrown away all of it except for one letter.
Climbing out of bed, I made my way into the bathroom and back to our walk-in closet. Standing on my tiptoes, I pulled down the shoebox.
The last letter I received from him was in response to my own letter, stating that I no longer wanted any contact with him and was changing my last name. My heart sick, I tried not to imagine all the pain I’d caused him with my words.
Sitting on the floor, I opened the letter and read my father’s words.
Dear Brandy,
I received the letter you sent me. Even though I understand how you can feel that way, it breaks my heart.
You see, despite what you’ve been told, I never hurt your mom. I’m innocent. Did you know that? I don’t know who killed your mom, but I swear it wasn’t me.
I never told you because... well, I don’t really know why. Maybe I didn’t want to put that kind of pressure on you. Maybe I wanted to wait until you were an adult so I didn’t make things more difficult with your aunt and uncle.
Regardless of the reason, I thought it was time for you to know the truth. Still, I will honor your request to stop sending you letters if that’s what you really want. I will end all contact with you, but, Brandy, I will never forget you or stop loving you. I will never stop praying for you or holding out hope that one day the truth will emerge. I hope when that happens, you will let me back into your life.
I’m proud of you and all you’ve overcome to live a full life. Your mother would be so proud of you too. Please remember that.
Love,
Dad
Tears rolleddown my face as I finished reading the letter.
“Hey, are you okay?” My husband came into the closet. I showed him the letter, and he read it in silence.
“Why did I wait so long to read it?” I asked. “Why?”
Troy shook his head and sat on the floor beside me. “You can’t ask yourself that. You didn’t know.”
“But maybe if I’d read it all those years ago, I might’ve made more of an effort to understand his side of things. Maybe I would’ve been able to find a way to get him out of prison sooner.”
“Maybe, but I don’t think so.” Troy slipped an arm around my shoulders.
I leaned into him, so incredibly grateful to have him. I was also incredibly grateful that my father’s nightmare would soon be over.
* * *
After what felt like forever,on a cold December morning, the Texas Department of Criminal Justice finally exonerated my father of all charges. I desperately wanted to fly down to Texas for his release, but Lia was so close to her due date that I couldn’t abandon her. I promised to be in the delivery room with her, and that was a promise I intended to keep.
Shortly after his release, my father flew up to Washington to see me and meet my family. Because Troy was in the middle of a big court case, I asked Lia to drive me to the airport. I supposed I could’ve driven myself, but I was so nervous that I wanted her with me.
Besides, Lia had played a huge role in securing my father’s freedom. Her willingness to have her DNA tested sped up the process in getting him released. I had no doubt that she needed to be one of the first people to meet him.
“You’re awfully quiet,” Lia said, turning on her blinker to switch lanes. “How are you feeling?”
“Nervous, excited, happy...” I laughed. “I’m feeling all the feelings.”