I’m glad our love still
makes other people vomit
spontaneously.
Anniversary
Thank you for being
so good in bed that we can
get to sleep by nine.
There’s nothing I love
more than holding you close to
avoid the wet spot.
I love you even
though your weird browsing has fucked
up my Netflix queue.
INNOVATIVE LESBIAN DATE SUGGESTIONS
Avoiding bed death in a long-term relationship can often be a struggle. The following lesbian-approved date ideas are here to help. They’re crafty, cheap, and include little-known lady aphrodisiacs sure to stoke your gal’s fires, and possibly convince her to donate more regularly to UNICEF. Win-win.
Have a cow (of the sea)
Attend fund-raiser
for “Conventionally
Unattractive Manatees.”
Shop in a suburban outlet mall
Visit Hot Topic.
Pretend you’re not immensely
enjoying yourself.
Furrever 21
Brainstorm names for the
all-flannel pet boutique you’d
like to one day own.
By “Let’s go on a date” I meant …
Flipping through the Rare
Seeds catalog and eating