The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (With Cats!)

P!nk dance remixes.

When lesbians say

“all night long,” they do not mean

forty-five minutes.

“What do two girls do

together in bed, really?”

Two words: gin rummy.

On nights out/anniversaries/romantic holidays

Sex occurs before

you go out ’cause you know you’ll

be too tired after.

A word of caution

Hitachi Magic

Wands have two settings: “low” and

“immersion blender.”

It’s like straight sex but

with more IKEA wardrobe

storage assemblage.

It’s like straight sex,

but

first we have to consult our

lunar calendars.

On the prevalence of dental dams

Ha ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

ha … ha ha ha ha.

Dental dams reprise

They’d get more use if

they had a more appealing

name, like beaver dams.