The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (With Cats!)

you stop for waffles.

Mmm, I can’t wait to

sit on your face for, like, five

minutes ’cause my knees.

She whips out restraints.

You shiver with delight, say:

“Wait, let me pee first.”

You might not want to

go downtown tonight—there’s a

southern wind blowin’.

I would love to fuck

you senseless … but I just ate

all that saag paneer.

That’s right, baby, right

there, get that tax refund, don’t

stop, get it, get it.

Someone has to clean

off the clothes on the bed first.

No? Then tomorrow.

For the love of all

that’s sacred: It’s called foreplay.

Think outside my box!

The G-spot is like

mercantilism. I know

it exists. That’s it.

It’s like straight sex, but

you aren’t labeled a slut for

fucking on the date.

It’s like straight sex but

with more slouchy blazers and