The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (With Cats!)

Sex in your forties

Quick, the kids are out,

so I’ve readied the Bareback

Mountain DVD.

You are not above

bartering sex favors to

not do the dishes.

Sex in your fifties

Let’s do that role-play

scene where I get to lie on

my back the whole time.

You menopausal?

’Cause, girl, you put the hot back

into hot flashes.

Sex in your sixties

You find that you are

suddenly concerned about

STIs again.

Sex in your seventies

I should tell you that

I’m bi … onic. And this hip

is titanium.

Sex in your eighties

Fuck me until I

can’t remember my name! Wait,

what is it again?

DOS AND DON’TS

Trimmed nails are a MUST.

Trimmed everything else is

always a surprise.