The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (With Cats!)

so many pantsuits?

According to your liberal hippie mom

Love is love! I had

spir

itual intercourse

with a redwood once.

According to National Geographic

As documented

by ten thousand species of

animals: Thursday.

According to Tom Cruise

Thursday. Or as it’s

permitted by Xenu, the

Galactic Mogul.

According to beersexuals, a.k.a. girls who make out with girls solely to turn guys on

Three parts vodka and

two parts “It seemed so fun in

Katy Perry’s song!”

According to the guys who benefit from beersexuals’ exhibitionism

WHOO-OO-OOO-OO-OOOO

OO-OO-OO-OO-WHOO-OO-OO

OO-OOO-O-OO-OO!

According to unicorns

IT’S THOSE BITCHES WHO

STOLE OUR NAME. NOW WE ARE FORCED

TO GO BY STEVE. STEVE!

According to “family values” Republicans

A HORROR SHAME PLAGUE.

(Unless the act takes place in

an airport bathroom.)