The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (With Cats!)

“Darling Fluttershy,

while our friendship is magic,

our sex life is not.”

THE TWELVE STAGES OF LESBIAN BREAKUP GRIEF

Denial

Mid-breakup-process,

engage in “breakup sex” while

you are both crying.

Cat adoption

You’ve always wanted

pets named after prominent

artistic dykons!

Anger

Throw out your shared sex

toys. Don’t even recycle

them! She’s not worth it.

Revenge

Compost her beloved

organic herb garden. Thyme’s

on whose side now, bitch?

Sadness

Imagine which cat

will probably eat you first

when you die alone.

Guilt about not recycling sex toys

Remove the sex toys

from the trash. Mother Earth thanks

you—if not that tramp!

Return adopted cats

Vow to come back for