The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (With Cats!)

own doppelbanger.

A concerned email from my ex

It’s been four years since

you left and I’m STILL dating

people you dated.

You look doubly familiar

My fuck buddies are

now fucking each other and

not me. Fucking great.

A lesbian greeting card for the distant family member who says homophobic things during the holidays

“Congrats! You’re a

monster.” (But written in glitter

so it feels festive!)

HIPSTER APPROPRIATION OF LESBIAN CULTURE: A MANIFESTO IN FIVE HAIKU

First they came for our

small-batch pickled kohlrabi,

and we said nothing.

Then they came for our

plaid, and we blogged a little

but still said nothing.

Then they came for our

light beer, and we tweeted passive-

aggressively.

Then they came for our

mullets, and … we let that one

slide, actually.

Then they came to our

bars and WE HIT ON ALL OF

THEM BY ACCIDENT!

LESBIAN BED DEATH