The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (With Cats!)

she feels sad ’cause she’s afraid

of making you sad!

The cry because the sex is so

good and it’s been so long

And also because

Adele is playing. Why did

she put Adele on?

The cry because the sex is rather painful actually but you don’t want to hurt her feelings and make her cry too

She fucked me so hard

it’s like she was looking for

my virginity!

The drunken cry

Youuuu! You’s more perfect

than a Tegan and Sara

song! You superstaah!

The unpleasant-astrological-prediction cry

Our birth charts aren’t

compatible! Your Ruler’s

Mars and mine’s Venus!

The laugh-cry

“Bet last night was fun,”

said your boss while pointing at

the lube in your bangs.

A LINE OF LESBIAN-THEMED GREETING CARDS FOR YOUR FRIENDS

Thanks for being a

friend in my time of need. And

by “friend,” I mean slut.

It’s redundant to

say you’re gay and that you majored

in theater tech.