Then he spoke in a voice that was quiet, but no longer a whisper. “Want me to make you some warm milk? I promise not to make it spicy.”
I gave a little smile at that. “No thanks.”
He opened the blinds, letting the moonlight in, and I turned off my flashlight. It was still dim in the room, but I could see that he was wearing dark, drawstring pajama bottoms. And only that.
Had I seen him shirtless before? It was definitely a sight to behold. Too bad it would be crass to turn the flashlight back on to check him out.
He sat down on the edge of the bed. “I know, warm milk sounds gross to me, too, but the twins liked it when they were younger.” He reached for my foot and started rubbing it, making me grateful that I’d pulled off the covers when they got too warm for my cast.
“God, that feels good.”
“Glad to hear it. So why can’t you sleep?”
I told him my theory about not getting enough exercise.
He nodded. “Fresh air might help, too. Maybe try to increase the time you spend on the deck? It’s so nice this time of year, when you can be out there without sweating.”
“Or freezing,” I added, thinking more of Colorado than here.
“Or getting eaten alive by bugs,” he added.
The thing I didn’t tell him was it kind of felt like my issue was as much psychological as it was physical. I got bored throughout the day, that was definitely part of it, but I also craved human contact. That was the most surprising part for me, because back in my old life, I certainly hadn’t had much of that.
I didn’t have a boyfriend to hold me tight. Until recently, my brother and I hadn’t even been much into hugging. But I’d been among people all day, and out doing things, and that had somehow negated the need.
But here, trapped in this room, I craved contact all the time. It filled me with joy when the twins scrambled onto the bed next to me. Or when Raphael lay down next to me after he helped me with my exercises. And with the puppies today—that had been incredible, and not just because they were the most adorable little guys ever. For over an hour, I’d had something to hug. To hold. To rub my face against. Flynn had somehow landed on the absolute best thing he could’ve done for me.
As much as I liked Raphael, I didn’t know if I should explain all that to him, or if he’d understand it if I did.
Still, he was here. He was rubbing my feet. And he’d offered to get me something to drink—maybe he wouldn’t mind providing something else I needed. “Raphael?”
“Yes?” He had both thumbs on the arch of my foot, and it felt so good I couldn’t help moaning. But then I remembered my goal.
“Could you do something for me?”
“Anything.”
Wow. The way he said that, instantly and firmly, made the newly dirty part of my brain try to switch into gear. But that wouldn’t be fair to him. “And could you, like… not read anything into it?”
His hands paused for a moment and then the foot rub continued. “All right.”
“Could you… just this once… stay in here tonight?” I took a quick breath and then rushed on. “I think it would help me fall asleep to have someone here next to me. I like your room, don’t get me wrong, but I just spend so much time alone in here. It always makes me feel better when someone’s here with me: the kids, you, Nana, Spencer…”
He broke in. “Or a basketful of puppies?”
“Yes,” I agreed, grateful to hear that he sounded amused, not weirded out. “I really think I might sleep better, but if you don’t want to, that’s fine.”
He was silent for a moment. I couldn’t see his face clearly, so I had no idea what he was thinking. Finally, he spoke. “That’s a tough one. Should I sleep out there on the lumpy sofa or in here, in my own bed, next to my friend who needs some company?”
Guilt rose in me. “Is it that bad out there?” I should’ve offered to switch with him. After all, I was doing a little better. Plus, I couldn’t roll over anyway, so I should’ve taken the much narrower couch.
“Relax, cher. I’m not complaining about the couch. I was just trying to say that yes, I’d be happy to stay in here with you tonight.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
I hoped there was enough light for him to see the big smile on my face.
18
Raphael
Sliding into my own bed felt surreal when there was a woman in it. It felt extra weird that she slept on the opposite side than I normally did. While I slept on the side nearer the door, so that I could easily attend to the twins when they were younger, she slept on the side by the window so that she could swing her cast up. It was like we’d planned it somehow.