Awakened (House of Night 8)

Stevie Rae

"You can't kill anyone!" Stevie Rae cried as Rephaim picked up a fallen Son of Erebus's sword.

He looked at her and whispered, "Force Kalona to go against Neferet's wishes. It is the only way to end this." Then he ran to do his father's bidding.

Force Kalona to go against Neferet? What is Rephaim talking about? Isn't Kalona under her control? Stevie Rae struggled to stand up, but those terrible black threads had not just sliced through her earth shield, they had also drained her. She felt weak and light-headed and wanted to puke her guts out. Then Zoey was there, crouching beside her, and Stark was standing guard in front of the two of them, positioning himself between them and the bloody battle between the Sons of Erebus and Kalona and Rephaim. Stevie Rae looked up just in time to see a giant sword materialize in his hand. She grabbed Zoey's wrist.

"Don't let Stark hurt Rephaim!" Stevie Rae begged her BFF. Zoey met her eyes. "Please," she told her. "Please trust me."

Zoey nodded once, then called to her Warrior. "Don't hurt Rephaim." Stark turned his head, though he didn't take his eyes from the battle. "I'll damn sure hurt him if he attacks you," he retorted.

"He won't," Stevie Rae said.

"I wouldn't bet on it," Aphrodite said, running up to the two of them while Darius, his own sword drawn, joined Stark, joining the barrier between danger and their priestesses. "Bumpkin, you have royally fucked up this time."

"Hate to agree with Aphrodikey," Erin said.

"Really hate to, but she's right," Shaunee said.

Damien, looking haggard, knelt on the other side of Stevie Rae. "We can yell at Stevie Rae later. Right now let's just figure out how to get her out of this mess," he said.

"You don't understand," Stevie Rae told him, her eyes filling up with tears. "I don't want out of it, and the only thing that's a mess is that y'all found out like this instead of me tellin' you 'bout Rephaim."

Damien stared at her for what seemed like a long time before he replied, "Oh, I see. I do understand because before I lost it, I learned a lot about love."

Before Stevie Rae could say anything else, a painful cry from one of the Sons of Erebus Warriors drew all of their eyes. Kalona had just stabbed him in the meaty part of his thigh, and the young Warrior had gone down, but as quickly as he'd fallen, another Warrior dragged him out of the way and yet another took his place, closing the break in the deadly circle around the winged beings.

They were fighting back to back. Stevie Rae wanted to curl up and die as she watched the House of Night Warriors press the attack over and over. Perfectly matched, perfectly in tune, Kalona and Rephaim complemented each other's movements.

In one part of her brain, Stevie Rae could acknowledge the beauty of the lethal dance that was going on between the Warriors and the winged beings--there was a grace and a symmetry to the fight that was awe- inspiring. But in most of her brain she just wanted to scream at Rephaim, Run! Fly away! Get outta here! Save yourself!

A Warrior lunged at Rephaim and at the very last moment he parried the blow. Sick and scared and almost completely defeated by the terrible unknown of what was going to happen to both of them, it took Stevie Rae longer than it should have for her to really see what Rephaim was doing--or rather, not doing. And when she did see it, Stevie Rae felt the sweet stirring of hope.

"Zoey," she clutched her friend's hand, unwilling to look away from the battle. "Watch Rephaim. He's not attacking. He's not hurting anyone. He's only defending himself."

Zoey paused, observing, and then said, "You're right. Stevie Rae, you're right! He's not attacking."

Pride for Rephaim made Stevie Rae's chest hurt, like her heart was thudding too hard to be held inside her rib cage. The Warriors kept attacking, brutal and deadly in their intent. Kalona kept wounding, maiming, and even killing. Rephaim continued to only defend himself--he blocked blows, he feinted and lunged, but he harmed none of the Warriors who were so obviously trying to kill him.

"She's correct," Darius said. "The Raven Mocker is entirely on the defensive."

"Press them! Kill them!" Neferet shouted. Stevie Rae took her gaze from Rephaim long enough to glance at her. Neferet looked bloated with power, reveling in the violence and destruction that was happening before her. Why didn't anyone else see the horrible Darkness that pulsed and slithered in excitement around her, wrapping around her legs, caressing her body, feeding from her power as, in turn, Neferet fed from the death and destruction around her?

With an avenging Dragon Lankford leading them, the Sons of Erebus Warriors redoubled their attack. "I have to stop it," Stevie Rae spoke more to herself than aloud. "Before it's gone too far and he can't help but kill somebody, I have to stop it."

"There's no stopping it," Zoey said quietly. "I think Neferet planned something like this all along. Kalona's probably here because she told him to be."

"Kalona may be, but Rephaim isn't," Stevie Rae said firmly. "He came here to be sure I'm okay, and I'm not gonna let him go down because of that."

Still watching the bloody battle, Stevie Rae imagined she was a tree--a giant, strong oak, and her legs were roots going way, way down deep into the earth. So deep that Neferet's sticky threads of Darkness couldn't reach her. And then she imagined pulling power from the spirit of the earth--rich and fertile and mighty. The pure essence of the earth surged up into her body. Stevie Rae stood. She waved away Z's hand, and when she did Stevie Rae caught sight of her own hand. It was glowing with a soft, familiar green. She started walking forward, toward Rephaim.

"Whoa, where do you think you're going?" Stark asked. Beside him, Darius looked solid and very much in her way.

"To dance with beasts, so I'm gonna penetrate their disguise." The quote from Kramisha's poem drifted through her mind, dream-like.

"Okay, crazy much?" Aphrodite said. "You need to stay your butt here and out of that mess over there." Stevie Rae ignored Aphrodite and faced down the two Warriors. "I'm Imprinted with him. My decision's made. If you gotta fight me--fight me, but I'm goin' over there to Rephaim."

"No one's fighting you, Stevie Rae," Zoey said.

"Let her go," she told Stark and Darius.

"I need your help," Stevie Rae told Zoey. "If you'll trust me, come with me and give me a boost with spirit."

"No! You can't get mixed up in that," Stark told Zoey. Zoey smiled at him. "But we've already mixed it up with Kalona and we won, remember?"

Stark snorted. "Yeah, after I died."

"Don't worry, Guardian. I'll save you again if I need to." Zoey turned back to Stevie Rae. "You said Rephaim saved your life?"

"Twice, and he had to stand up to Darkness to do it. Rephaim has good inside him. You got my promise on that, Z. Please, please trust me."

"I trust you. I'll always trust you," Zoey said. "I'm going with Stevie Rae," she told Stark, who didn't look happy at all about that news.

"I'm going too," Damien said, dry-eyed. "If you need air, it'll be there for you. I still believe in love."

"I don't like the bird thing, but air's not going without fire," Shaunee said.

"Ditto, Twin," Erin said.

Stevie Rae met each of their gazes. "Thank y'all. This means more than I can ever tell ya."

"Oh, for shit's sake. Let's go save the unattractive birdboy so the bumpkin can live unhappily ever after," Aphrodite said.

"Yeah, let's do that, only take both uns outta that sentence," Stevie Rae said, and with the circle forming around her, flanked by Stark and Darius, Stevie Rae led them forward. Still channeling the earth, she didn't hesitate, but strode over to the scene of blood and destruction, getting as close to Rephaim as she could.

"No!" he yelled, catching a glimpse of her. "Stay back!"

"Like heck I will!" Stevie Rae looked at Damien. "Time to cowboy up. Call air."

Damien faced east. "Air, I need you. Come to me!" Wind whirled around him, lifting his and everyone else's hair. Stevie Rae raised her brows at Shaunee, who rolled her eyes, but faced south and called, "Fire, come burn for me, baby!" While heat joined air, and without any prompting, Erin faced west and said,

"Water, come on and join the circle!" The scent of spring showers touched their faces. As quickly as water joined them, Stevie Rae looked northward and said, "Earth, you're already with me. Please join the circle, too." The root-like connection to the ground that she already had intensified, and Stevie Rae knew she was like a lighthouse shining bright mossy green.

From beside her, Z said, "Spirit, please complete our circle."

There was a wonderful sense of well-being that Stevie Rae held onto as she stepped out from her group, as if she was their spearhead. Fully empowered by her element, she raised her arms, channeled the timeless, wise strength of trees, said,

"Earth, make a barrier to end this fightin'. Please." She pointed at the men.

"Help her, air," Damien said.

"Fire her up, fire," Shaunee added.

"Support her, water," Erin said.

"Fill her, spirit," Zoey said.

Stevie Rae felt a shot of adrenaline rush from the circle of earth around her, up through her feet, and into her hand. Vine-like, green tendrils shot from the ground, making a caged barrier all around Rephaim and Kalona, completely halting the fighting. They all turned to look at her.

"There, that's better. Now we can figure this out," Stevie Rae said.

"So, Zoey and your circle--you've decided to ally with Darkness, too," Neferet said.

Before Z could respond Stevie Rae said, "Neferet, that's as nutty as squirrel turds. Z just got back from hangin' out with Nyx in the Otherworld. She managed to kick Kalona's ass there, and bring her Warrior back safe and sound with her--somethin' no other High Priestess has ever been able to do. She's not exactly Darkness material." Neferet opened her mouth to speak and Stevie Rae cut her off. "No! I only have one more thing to say to you-- no matter who you fool, I want you to know I'll never believe you've changed. You're a liar, and you're really, really not nice. I have seen the white bull, and I know the Darkness you're playin' with; I know just how wacked you are. Heck, Neferet, I can see that stuff slithering 'round you right now. So. Back. The. Hell. Off."

She turned her back to Neferet and focused on Kalona. She opened her mouth and suddenly her words dried up. The winged immortal looked like an avenging god. His bare chest was spattered with blood and his black spear dripped gore. His eyes shined amber as they stared at her with an expression that was amusement mixed with disdain.

How did I ever think I could stand up to him? Stevie Rae's mind shouted inside her head. He's too powerful, and I'm nothing--just nothing ...

"Strengthen her, spirit," Zoey's voice whispered to her, carried on the wind Damien had conjured. Stevie Rae pulled her gaze from Kalona's, meeting Zoey's eyes. Her BFF smiled. "Go on. Finish what you started. You can do it."

Stevie Rae felt a rush of gratitude. As her gaze returned to Kalona, she pulled deeply from the roots she imagined connecting her to her element and with that lifeline of power, and the support of her friends, she finished what she'd started.

"Okay, everybody knows that you used to be Nyx's Warrior, but that you're here 'cause somethin' messed up with that," she said matter-of-factly, "which means you messed up. It also means that even though you've gone all evil and stuff, you used to know about honor and loyalty and maybe even love. So I have somethin' to tell you about your son, and I want you to listen to me. I don't know how or why it happened, but I love him, and I think he loves me." Here she paused and met Rephaim's gaze.

"I do," he said clearly and distinctly so that his voice carried to everyone watching. "I love you, Stevie Rae." She took one moment to smile at him, full on, filled with pride, and happiness, and above all, love. Then she refocused on Kalona. "Yes, it's weird. No, it's never gonna be a normal relationship, and Goddess knows we're gonna have to deal with lots of issues with my friends, but here's what's most important: I can give Rephaim kindness and a life where he'll know peace and happiness. But I can't do that unless you do somethin' first. You have to free him, Kalona. You have to let him make his own choice between staying with you or changing his path. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and believe with everything inside me, that somewhere deep inside you is still a tiny sliver of Nyx's Warrior, and that Kalona, the one who protected our Goddess, would do the right thing. Please be that Kalona again, if only just for one second."

Into the long silence where Kalona stared unblinkingly at Stevie Rae, Neferet's voice intruded--disdainful and arrogant. "Enough of this silly charade. I'll take care of the grass barrier. Dragon, exact your revenge on the Raven Mocker. And you, Kalona, you I order to be banished from my side as you were before. Nothing has changed between us."

As she spoke, Stevie Rae watched her pull from the shadows all around them, and from her own body, the slithering black tentacles that seemed to always be near her now. Stevie Rae readied herself. It was going to be awful, but she was dang sure not backing down, and that meant she was gonna have to stand up to Darkness again.

But just as she felt the first tug of pain and chill, and the drain Darkness caused within the earth, the winged immortal raised one hand slightly, and said, "Halt! I've long allied with Darkness. Obey my command. This is not your battle. Begone!"

"No!" Neferet shrieked as the sticky threads, invisible to almost everyone present, began to slither away to be reabsorbed into the shadows from whence they came. Neferet turned on Kalona.

"Foolish creature! What are you doing? I ordered you to leave. You must obey my command! I am High Priestess here!"

"I am not under your control! Nor have I ever been." Kalona's smile was victorious and he looked so magnificent for a moment Stevie Rae's breath caught at the sight of him. "I don't know what you're talking about," Neferet recovered quickly. "It is I who was under your control."

Kalona glanced around the school grounds, taking in the wide-eyed fledglings and the vampyres who were either armed against him or frozen somewhere between their desire to run from him and their desire to adore him. "Ah, children of Nyx, like me, many of you have stopped listening to your Goddess. When will you learn?"

Then the winged immortal looked to his right. Rephaim was standing there, silently watching his father.

"It is true you have Imprinted with the Red One?"

"Yes, Father. It is."

"And you saved her life? More than once?"

"As she has saved mine in turn, more than once. It was she who truly healed me from the fall. It was she who filled the terrible wound Darkness ripped within me later, after I faced the white bull for her." Rephaim's eyes found Stevie Rae's. "As payment for freeing her from Darkness, she touched me with the power of Light she wields, that of the earth."

"I didn't do that as payment. I did that because I couldn't stand to see you hurtin'," said Stevie Rae.

Slowly, as if it were difficult for him, Kalona lifted his hand and rested it on his son's shoulder. "You know she can never love you as a woman loves a man? You will forever desire something she cannot, will not, give you."

"Father, what she gives me is more than I have ever known before."

Stevie Rae saw pain twist Kalona's face, if only for an instant. "I have given you love as my son, my favorite son," he said so softly she had to strain to hear him.

Rephaim hesitated and when he answered his father, Stevie Rae could hear the raw honesty in his voice, and the heartache the admission cost him. "Perhaps in another world, another life, that might have been true. In this one you gave me power and discipline and anger, but you did not give me love. Never love."

Kalona's eyes flashed, but Stevie Rae thought she saw more pain than anger within their amber depths. "Then in this world, in this life, I shall give you one more thing: choice. Choose, Rephaim. Choose between the father you have served and followed faithfully for eons and the power that service has afforded you, and the love of this vampyre High Priestess, who will never be completely yours because she will always, always be horrified by the monster within you."

Rephaim's eyes found hers. She saw the question in them and answered it before he could ask it aloud.

"I don't see a monster when I look at you--not outside, not inside. So I'm not horrified by you. I love you, Rephaim."

Rephaim closed his eyes for a moment, and she felt a quiver of unease. He was good--Stevie Rae believed that, but to choose her over his father would change the course of his life forever. He was part immortal, and forever could be a literal thing for him. Maybe he couldn't--maybe he wouldn't-- maybe he--

"Father--" Stevie Rae opened her eyes the second she heard Rephaim's voice. He was speaking to Kalona, but he was still looking at her. "I choose Stevie Rae, and the path of the Goddess."

Her gaze darted to Kalona in time to see the grimace of pain pass over his face. "Then so be it. From this day forth you are no longer my son." He paused and Rephaim turned his gaze from her to the winged immortal. "I would offer you Nyx's blessing, but she no longer hears me. So instead I offer you a piece of advice: if you love her with everything within you, when you realize she does not love you in the same way--and she will not, cannot--it will kill everything within you." Kalona unfurled his great wings, lifted both arms, and proclaimed, "Rephaim is free of me! So I have spoken. So let it be!"

Afterward, Stevie Rae would think about that moment and the way the air quivered around Rephaim with his immortal father's release. Then all she could do was to stare wide-eyed at Rephaim as the red tint that had been present in his eyes for as long as she had been looking into them faded, leaving only the wide, dark eyes of a human boy staring at her from the head of an enormous raven.

Wings still extended, body still magnified by power and, Stevie Rae liked to believe, by the grief he had to feel somewhere inside him at the loss of his son, Kalona moved his amber gaze to Neferet.

He didn't say one word. He only laughed and then launched himself into the night sky, leaving a trail of mocking laughter behind him and one other thing. From the air a single white feather dropped to the ground at Stevie Rae's feet. It shocked her so much that the barrier she'd erected around Rephaim dissipated, but she was staring at the feather so intently that Stevie Rae didn't even realize her concentration had utterly shattered. She was bending to pick up the feather when Neferet commanded Dragon.

"Now that the immortal has fled, kill his son. I am not fooled by this charade."

Stevie Rae felt the terribly familiar sting of Darkness breaking her connection to the earth, weakening her. She was unable to even cry out as she watched Dragon descend on Rephaim.