ELLA
The feeling from this morning hasn’t left.
It’s the comedown from the high. I fought for what I wanted, I won … but what is it that I’m left with?
I’m still under a conservatorship. I’m still mandated to be in the confines of my home until I prove my mental stability to someone I don’t even know and only when Damon, and The Firm, recommends an examination be done. I have no control over either.
And then there’s Zander, a man I intend to give what little control I have left. A man who stirs up a number of feelings that I can barely categorize … especially since Damon made that comment. It won’t stop echoing in my head. Maybe I’m displacing the love I had for James onto Zander.
The leather journal with rose gold binding has two sheets filled with nothing but questions.
All I know for certain is that I don’t have any answers and that I’m a far distance away from where I want to be. With all of the memories flooding me today, I long to go back more than anything else.
Back to a time before all of this was set into motion.
My phone buzzes with a text from Kelly. You’re supposed to hold it.
My gaze shifts to the nightstand where the smoky quartz has sat since Kelly sent it in the mail.
She adds, I swear it works.
I don’t have a single comment to make about the crystal and Kelly’s hippie-dippie solution to everything. If I wasn’t on medication, I imagine she’d have gifted me pot as well.
I’ll hold it during my therapy sessions. My thumb hovers over the button, but before I can second-guess it, I send the message.
Perfect!She replies instantly and then asks another question about Zander. What’s his shoe size? Her question forces a sly smile from me.
Kam must have reached out to Trish and Kelly and given them this number. All three of them have been texting me today. They’ve been asking about Zander and anything else … other than the obvious. None of them have asked about what happened or how I’m doing in that respect.
The girls want to know all about him most of all. The secret love interest. If only they knew the whole truth.
I’ll tell you tomorrow, I write back and Kelly replies with, I can’t wait.
Girls’ luncheons are going to be my new favorite, Trish says next.
Kelly piles on with, Seriously, this has been missing from my life. Love you girls.
Kisses.
Setting the phone down on the dresser, I wonder how much I should tell them. He’s still a secret … at least to most people. They think he’s just a bodyguard from the private security firm I hired and I struggle with how much I should tell them.
At that thought, there’s a knock at my bedroom door. He’s the only one who knocks … as if there’s a semblance of privacy in this home. There are cameras everywhere. I call out while peering up at the camera in the corner of the room. It’s tucked away, small and insignificant, yet it’s one more indication that they’re always watching.
“Come in.” The door creaks open.
Damon told me Cade added motion sensors above the bedroom door. So they’re alerted to anyone coming or going. He not-so-subtly hinted around the fact that when Zander and I are together here, they’ll stop watching.
I’m very aware that it will still be recorded. It’s odd the sensation it gives me and how it’s so strikingly different from when I’m recorded alone. One is troublesome and alarming, while the other is tantalizing.
With only the corner light on, and the evening sun filtering through the curtains, my prince is cast in shadows as he closes the door behind him.
My periwinkle silk nightgown is in complete contrast to his stiff white collared shirt and perfectly tailored slacks. All but the top button is done. It does nothing to hide his muscular physique and the power that lies under the expensive fabric.
“There you are,” he comments as if he’s been looking for me. I heard him come in. I heard them talking.
“You weren’t here this morning,” I say and the statement comes out as an accusation. There’s a flash in his eyes. I know I’ve tested him. But it’s gone as quickly as it came.
“I had a few things to take care of.” He considers me and I do the same to him. His gaze roams down my body and his posture changes, his hand seeming to ache at his side as he flexes it. The door closes then with a final click and he stalks toward me, each step measured and quiet. Like a hunter to his prey.