I can’t help what he does to me. How the air heats and each breath is harder to inhale.
Licking his bottom lip, he stops feet from me. My back to the mirror at my vanity, I stare back at him, noting that I’m cornered.
“You’re disappointed?” he questions, seemingly surprised with a cocked brow.
I answer him honestly. “I’m not sure what to expect.”
“Tell me what you want, and I’ll tell you if you can have it.” He doesn’t let a moment pass before answering easily. Checking over his shoulder, he decides to lean against the dresser, putting more space between us.
“Just tell you and you’ll make it happen?”
“If I determine it necessary, yes.” His voice lowers, as does his gaze to where the button is undone between my breasts. I’m more than aware that this nightgown leaves little to the imagination when it comes to my chest.
“I want you to be here when I wake up … at least if we,” I clear my throat, composing myself and remembering who the hell I am. “If we fucked the night before, I want to wake up beside you.”
The strength in my tone raises Zander’s gaze and he nods. “I will make sure that happens moving forward.” I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until he answers. Nodding slightly, I place my phone down on the vanity next to my hairbrush.
There’s something liberating in that simplicity.
In the quiet, he rumbles, “I missed kissing you.” The warmth returns with full force. My guard is crumbling; I feel every piece fall and I don’t care.
“Is that all you missed?” I say, teasing him without thinking much of it.
“Come here,” he commands me in a whisper. It’s easy to obey. His hand finds the small of my waist, pulling me in for a chaste kiss. It’s simple, all of it is so easy and so bare. Yet I crumble and heat at his touch, feeling more vulnerable with every fraction of a second.
The feel of his kiss still pressed against my lips, my eyes closed and my blood warming, I push out the words that have wreaked havoc on my mind while he’s been gone.
“Damon suggested I may be displacing some of my feelings.” I push them out as quickly as I can, too scared to open my eyes until the last word is spoken.
He doesn’t answer and slowly, I peek up at him through my lashes. The only movement he makes is to run his thumb up and down my side.
“What do you think?”
“I don’t know. I know I feel things … I don’t know what you feel.”
“You’re feeling uncertain?”
“Yes.”
“Mmm,” he says and his acknowledgment is a rumble from his chest. He pulls me forward, into his chest, to kiss the crown of my head, then he whispers, “You still want me?”
“Yes,” I answer easily, my eyes still open, staring down at his chest.
“Good,” he answers and pulls back, letting cool air filter between us to look down at me. “Even if you don’t want me for forever, you damn well better know that I want you right now.”
“And tomorrow?” Peeking up at him, I feel nothing but vulnerable.
“I’ll want you tomorrow too. So long as you want this, I will be here.”
I’ve never felt so needy before. So fragile with a man. James happened slowly. We were friends first and falling for him was unexpected. The security was there. By the time I realized what I felt, I knew he felt the same. This … this is nothing like that and it’s terrifying.
“I’m afraid … you don’t really want me. That you’re only here because you think I need you.”
Zander’s inhale is audible, and it’s heavy and suffocating all at once. His expression is just as alarming. It’s as if the air around him has darkened and a different side of him has taken over. With a single step forward, he towers over me.
“If I didn’t want you, I wouldn’t be here, Ella.” The disappointment is obvious in his piercing gaze. “How could you possibly think I don’t want you? It’s fucking embarrassing what you do to me. How I can’t even think when you’re around.” Taking my hand in his, he presses my palm against him. “I’m hard as fuck thinking of how I’m going to punish you for that insecurity.”
His touch is like fire, the air engulfed in flames around us.